General Question

tinyfaery's avatar

Why men and not women?

Asked by tinyfaery (43775points) September 8th, 2008

Everywhere I go, no matter who I am with, or the setting involved, I always see men adjusting their “junk”, right out in public, for everyone to see. Personally, I find this somewhat inappropriate, and kinda gross, but everyone, men and women, just seem to put up with it, like it’s expected.

What about women? Sometimes my bra shifts and it needs to be readjusted, but if I just grabbed my tits and gave them a shake while standing in line for refreshments, I guarantee people would gawk and whisper to themsleves.

So two questions really. Why do we all just put up with men doing this? And, why don’t/can’t women do the same?

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54 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

“if I just grabbed my tits and gave them a shake while standing in line for refreshments” – LMFAO… I fought the giggles all through a phone call at work because of that sentence…

I adjust my bra straps… but other than that, I try to duck into my cubicle to do any other adjustments. lol

shilolo's avatar

Wait, who says you can’t? ;-)

scamp's avatar

Hold on.. I’ll answer this after I get that wedgy out of my butt…....

JackAdams's avatar

I really do have a terrific answer for this, but I just KNOW it will get deleted…

scamp's avatar

it won’t if it is informative and worded as such JA.

Bri_L's avatar

@ tinyfaery – sorry I can’t get past you grabbing your tits. easy Bri.

Ok, The only time I have done that, and I have tried to be descrete, was when I was in pain. I usually use the “bend down and tie my shoe” method.

Sometimes its a matter of Pain.

I think in those times you need to be descrete.

JackAdams's avatar

@scamp: Nah, it’s not that kind of an answer…

scamp's avatar

Then pm it to me, ha ha ha!!

cyndyh's avatar

Sometimes it’s a matter of pain for bras, too, Bri. I’ll pull at my bra strap in public in some cases and not others. If I’m dressed up I try to duck in a bathroom. I might not want to tug on nice clothes that would suffer from stretching. If I’m wearing everyday clothes it doesn’t matter.

FlutherMother's avatar

I think women are more aware of who is watching. Men can be a bit oblivious to the stares of others or they don’t care. I often tell my boys “let go of it, it is not going to fall off you know.”

Bri_L's avatar

To be honest it is one of those things where when I see men do it I think “thanks guys, that is why women think what they do” and also “some discretion would be prudent”. It grosses me out as well.

As far as woman adjusting their tits or bras, I may have indicated, that is fine with me.

MacBean's avatar

Interesting question… Because my personal experience is very different. I see women tugging and fixing bra straps and squirming to readjust their breasts all the time. I see men grabbing their junk far less often.

bodyhead's avatar

It’s because you women care who’s watching and we don’t.

Men are such sexual beasts that we’ll construe a bra adjustment as a sexual act where as no woman anywhere will think a sausage shift is sexy.

Bri_L's avatar

@bodyhead – to true

girlofscience's avatar

I dunno, I definitely adjust my bra in public, and I don’t think it’s weird, and neither does anyone else (from what I can tell).

Bri_L's avatar

I would need to see it to judge. ;-)

poofandmook's avatar

Yeah but there’s adjusting your bra, which I do and don’t care about, and then there’s reaching right in and grabbing a breast and adjusting its placement in the bra. I assumed tinyfaery meant the latter.

Bri_L's avatar

yes, I would be a gentleman and look away in either case, no matter how I might enjoy looking.

Im such a perv.

JackAdams's avatar

I read that, somewhere…


charliecompany34's avatar

men love the female anatomy. and well, vice versa for women. we see how you privately gawk at a buff beach dude on the sly. but men throughout the history of the world have always been the pursuer, the conqueror, the freak—public and private. certain things women want to keep private is what, well, what men do like to see. you were told since childhood to always keep your legs closed while wearing a skirt, so you will be protective of those things. most men, on the other hand, think of sex practically every other minute of the live-long day while women tend to keep us wondering. you’ll always be a mystery to us. we’ll look away while you adjust yourself, but oftentimes men are not really consciously thinking about whereabouts when we do the same.

did this shed light? it’s just complicated.

marinelife's avatar

I thought long and hard about this, and I have to say that I have never seen men adjust themselves in public. I have seen ballplayers do it. I have seen my husband do it when only I am around. I think you have had a much different experience.

I don’t think either sex adjusting their underwear (which bras count as) in public is acceptable. At least that’s not what my mama taught me.

Bri_L's avatar

@ JackAdams – heheh It was in australia

allengreen's avatar

call me an “equal-opportunity-junk adjuster”, but I think it is completely appropriate for any one of any sex/gender/otherwise to adjust themselves in public or private, with or without the helping had of a mother——woops, I mean, another.
We are not that far removed from apes, and it is a matter of comfort, so let’s get back to nature on this…..

scamp's avatar

Now listen to your mama
and you will learn
how to catch a man

You’re never gonna catch the cream of the crop
Lyin around
you must have a plan

Now watch and I will show you how to wiggle your hips
pucker your lips just so

You’ll find you’re in his arms when you get through
if you do all that mama tells you to
Now go get dressed, get ready
pull your bra strap up tight
and see what you hook tonight!!

tinyfaery's avatar

Yes poof, that is what I am talking about. I see men really dig up in there, if you know what I mean. (Sorry I don’t mean to be offensive.) And ladies, you know that sometimes you’ve got to jiggle those things around a bit to get them in their proper position.

@marina Really? I see men/boys do this almost everyday of my life. And as far as women adjusting straps, that is by no means the same thing as jiggling the “boys”. And besides, I think Madonna changed the rule about keeping one’s undergarments out of sight.

Men. Why do you do this? Women, why don’t you? You know sometimes you want to. :)

FlutherMother's avatar

Hee Hee. I usually will try to adjust a stray bra strap but I usually peek around to make sure I am not “seen” too much. Occasionally one of the ladies will pop out of the bra if I am leaning over or are active and I have to make adjustments but if the casually moving the strap doesn’t put it back into place then the “I have to use the restroom” excuse is always good. So is checking in the car before I open the door when going somewhere (I have a van with tinted windows). I try to avoid making huge grabby adjustments outside my bedroom or the bathroom for any reason – but that’s only because I have 3 boys and I have done enough to embarass them. :-)

Bri_L's avatar

All I can say is when you have the equipment you understand. I imagine it is similar to what Elaine said on Seinfeld “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”

Sometimes pain, just discomfort, sometimes you don’t realize you do it. Sometimes it is uncalled for. I don’t know if there is a female equivalent. Picture what you think it feels like when we get kicked in that area. Now take it down to 5%. It can feel that way just by getting out of the car wrong.

stratman37's avatar

Women adjust so much more than men do. Bra straps, panty hose, slips, underwear. I even saw a woman adjust her diaphragm today! at least that’s what it looked like she was doing!

tinyfaery's avatar

But those are articles of clothing, not reproductive organs.

scamp's avatar

@stratman37 Do you know what a diaphragm is? It’s kind of hard to believe you saw a woman adjusting it.

girlofscience's avatar

@stratman37: FYI, women haven’t worn slips since 1932.

FlutherMother's avatar

No, I think what he may have seen was a woman trying to adjust a tampon or pad. A pad can shift and if the sticky part comes off the panty, it can adhere to things (namely hair) which is painful. And the tampon string can pull at times. Sorry, too much info and I certainly think that that should be done in a restroom and out of the public eye.

I do think that males tend to grab themselves more regularly and unconsciously – privates, t.v. remotes, old Atari game controllers – males seem to be addicted to always having some type of joystick in their hands!

MissAnthrope's avatar

I “great questioned” you because, man, do I ever wonder this one all the time. Seriously, it seems to go beyond simply adjusting for comfort or scratching an itch. It’s pretty gross, actually, and I find it fairly offensive. I can understand adjusting to relieve pain or whatever, but some guys really go over the top. I mean, they grab that like it’s going to fly away or something.

I always want to be like, “Yeah, it’s still there.” or “Yeah, we all know you have one, you don’t have to remind us.”

jca's avatar

i think a better comparison of behavior would be a woman scratching her crotch, not adjusting her bra. comparing adjusting a bra (or breasts in a bra) to men grabbing their crotches is comparing apples to oranges. as for why it’s acceptable for men, it seems like women are expected to be more “ladylike” and demure. i’m not saying it’s right that it’s that way, but i think that’s the way it is. it’s a double standard, for sure.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

for me it’s medical.
In advance, sorry!

Bri_L's avatar

@girlofscience – Really? I didn’t know that. Is it because of the materials used or what.

girlofscience's avatar

No. They were just an extra undergarment used for additional modesty.

EDIT: According to wikipedia, they were used to prevent certain fabrics from rubbing the skin.

But still, they’re super old-ladyish, and no one wears them at all today!

Bri_L's avatar

Ah, thanks for clarifying I always thought they were for keeping the sun from shining through.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I wouldn’t say no one wears them these days. I would wear one if my skirt was potentially transparent, as Brian said.

stratman37's avatar

scamp: joke!

EmpressPixie's avatar

don’t tell girlofsilence, but I have a slip for light sundresses. I like the extra modesty.

Knotmyday's avatar

Mirdle; the male slip.Keeps the sun from shining through as well.

soooo gross

poofandmook's avatar

@knot: LMFAO

cyndyh's avatar

I do own a slip for use with wispy sundresses. It doesn’t come out often, but yes they get worn today.

Now, girdles I don’t think get worn much at all today. I’ve never worn one of those. That’s a male version of a girdle Knotmyday is linking to… I think.

BronxLens's avatar

I recall reading somewhere that many women’s problems with bras, which may increase the need for adjustment, arise from a poor fit. With that in mind, here you go ladies:

poofandmook's avatar

@Bronx: Yeah, something like 80% of women are wearing the wrong size… but let’s get real. If you want lift, you almost have to wear the wrong size.

mcbealer's avatar

I have noticed the guys who shuffle their stuff are encouraged to by the environment/culture they’re in. It’s a matter of comfort, and since the majority of the guys are doing it, they take advantage of that acceptance.

Bri_L's avatar

@ poof – is “lifting” a part of comfort or look or both? Im a guy so I don’t know

poofandmook's avatar

@Bri: Both.

Bri_L's avatar

Ah, ok.

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t need lift. ;)

Thanks mcbealer. You are one of the few that actually answered the Q.

Bri_L's avatar

@ tinyfaery – I apologize if I offended you with my joke up there. I’m truly sorry. I was only joking around.

I did try to answer your question, I hope that came across. Again, I am sorry if I offended you. I meant only to play off your comment.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m not offended. You should know me better than that by now. I was just saying, I don’t need a lift, just a little form and separation.

Bri_L's avatar

Oh ok, I misunderstood. I always error on the side of caution because we are texting and not in person. Thanks.

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