How do i get my mom to let go?

im 18. i live at home and am in cegep (pre-college) and will be going to university next year. my mom invades my privacy ALL THE TIME, coming into my room for the stupidest reasons, like opening or closing the windows, or opening the shades, or cleaning up my desk. she always commands me to go to bed and brush my teeth like a 4 year old. she doesnt let me go out certain nights, because its “family time”. SHE HAS MAJOR ISSUES LETTING GO. she even let me completely re-decorate my room, so that she’d have an excuse for me to stay. my dad is ok with me leaving, mainly because his younger years were kind of wilder.

i went to a shrink last year and i told him the situation, and he wondered why i was sitting in that room with him. he says my mom should be in therapy. so, i tell her, and i have my dad’s support on this, and before she could make an appointment, she claims that she has all these crazy appointments, but really, its just 15 minute errands and then having coffee for an hour and a half. but in reality, she wouldnt stick to the program anyways.

as i said, im going to university next fall, but im going to a local university, mainly because my dad gets a discount because hes a prof.. i told my dad that i want to move out, if not now, then next fall, and he is just going along with my mother, and refuses to talk about it until a time closer to university. the thing is, i want to move out as soon as possible.

in theory, i could move out, just leave. but when it comes down to searching for an apartment, (my first one), it’ll be tough and ill need a lot of help getting settled. if my mom were to agree to let me go, she would start helping me out, and then right in the middle of it, start a new project and say “ive got something else that i have to do. can we leave it until next year.” my dad would just be apathetic about the entire thing and follow my mom around like her pet.

so, im asking you this: how do i get my mom to start realizing that im grown up, and i can live on my own. and if thats not possible, then get the fuck out of my private space and life?