General Question

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Have you ever had family dump something on you that you want no part of?

Asked by Nomore_lockout (7582points) January 23rd, 2021

My sister’s and cousins don’t get along, and they’re wanting to have a family reunion in June?

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11 Answers

Nomore_lockout's avatar

My cousins are wanting to have a reunion in June but it’s falling on me to.pull it together evidently. I’m trying hard to figure it out but my sister’s aren’t wanting any part of it, and I don’t feel.I should have to cover for them. I think it might be fun so the wife and I will probably attend. I just resent that they dumped all this on me. I guess because I’m the oldest of all the cousins / siblings. I want to be polite and have everyone get along but I’m not fucking Western Union and I’m not going to run messages between a bunch of sqaubbling female relatives. Never thought they’d hunt me down on face book like a bunch of vultures. Have any of you ever been in a quandary like that? In guess I can pull it off since we’re all dinosaurs and will probably never have another chance. But it interferes with my chill out with a beer in front of the tube activities.

JLoon's avatar

Cheer up.

They could be planning an intervention to force you to become a Shriner.

That’s what I’d do…

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Grap beer and ignore them !

Zaku's avatar

Wow, they want you to make the event that they want happen? I’m glad to say that no, I’ve never been put in that sort of situation.

My parents wanted me to go to school, and other reasonable expectations… sometimes be dragged to social events as a child… I’ve sometimes helped with some things, but almost nothing unreasonable, really.

cookieman's avatar

Oh sure. Usually revolving around holidays. After we got married, my wife (maybe foolishly) announced that we were hosting all the holidays.

While most family and friends have appreciated our efforts, certain assholes have used our generosity as a platform to dump their drama and selfishness.

While we did put up with these stressful shenanigans for far too long, I’m happy to say that now we are free of these selfish, manipulative schmucks.

rockfan's avatar

Yes, my dad’s side of the family has a history of borderline personality disorder and whenever I visit my friends and family in Miami (I was born and raised there, and moved) my relatives tend to interfere with my already scheduled plans and they make me feel guilty when I don’t have the time to spend the entire weekend with them.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes. Many people warned me not to get in the middle. They were right.

I’d try to throw it back on the cousins and tell them to invite your sisters.

Or, if you feel you can’t say that I’d just say I’ll tell my sisters the date, I’d do that, and do nothing else. I would not try to persuade them at all. Just you telling them you are going might feel like manipulation to them so you have to really bring it up only the one time and that’s it. You can’t later on ask if they plan on going, nothing. Any questions and they will feel you are pressuring them no matter how much you think in your head that you don’t care if they go or not.

snowberry's avatar

I’m wondering about things like food and location. If you could choose a location where everyone is responsible for their own food -they bring it from home or purchase it there (such as a zoo) that might work out well. If things get too weird, you just go take in the parrot exhibit or whatever. ;)

smudges's avatar

@JLeslie Perfect and exactly what I’d do! The key is bringing it up just the one time then never again.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@snowberry If things get to weird, I’ll go down to my fishing hoke with a 12 pack and stay put ‘till it’s over. Good suggestion though, thanks.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Ditto @JLeslie Also a good idea, thanks!

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