General Question

qualitycontrol's avatar

Does anyone think it's weird I date an illegal immigrant from Guatemala?

Asked by qualitycontrol (2570points) September 9th, 2008

I’m American and at my job 90% of the production workers are illegal aliens (I work in the QC department). Since I spend most of my life at work I wasn’t really meeting any girls anywhere else. Since I started working there 10 months ago I’ve picked up Spanish and I am now almost fluent because it’s necessary to know Spanish on the job or I won’t be able to communicate. Anyway girls from Guatemala are, contrary to what most people think, gorgeous and very sweet. I get made fun of a lot from my American friends who think Guatemalans are less than people. I mean it’s not like their racist but they talk about them like they’re not actual people. It isn’t their fault they come from a poor country and have a different culture. I also have to hear about it from people who are anti – immigrant and say that they are “ruining” our economy and stealing our jobs. I don’t know about anyone else but it’s so easy to find a job, right now I have 3: one full time and two part time jobs and get offers about other jobs all the time. There is no way they steal jobs, they just do the jobs Americans don’t want to do. Sorry for the long post but I really really like this girl…what do you guys think about it?

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64 Answers

shilolo's avatar

I say go for it (assuming she isn’t trying to use you for citizenship purposes, which would suck). True love is true love, may your so-called friends be damned. Many an immigrant tale has been told in the United States. Why, just look at The Godfather.

Bri_L's avatar

I don’t think its weird your dating a an illegal from guatamalla.

I think its weird you have friends that think Guatemalans are less than people.

wildflower's avatar

I think that if there’s any doubt in your mind whether she’s an equally valid person as you or anyone else or whether it should be socially acceptable for you to be with her, you probably shouldn’t date her until you’ve addressed those issues within yourself (and perhaps in your social circle too).

Melonking's avatar

I do…... I’v never even herd of gumalta of what ever its name is. I’v never liked immigrants….. (hmm that sounds a bit ironic)

JackAdams's avatar


I came in late, and all the really good answers are taken!

qualitycontrol's avatar

I don’t have any doubts at all. This girl is a Queen to me and I would do anything for her because she is just so special. I would marry her regardless of what my friends would say or anyone else for that matter. To me all people are equal. I wanted to here some positivity because everyone I know bad mouths illegal immigrants when they’re just here trying to make a better life. We live in the greatest country in the world and a lot of people who live here just take it for granted. I think we’re just lucky to be here and we should welcome others trying to live a better life. All they want to do is live and it makes me so upset to here someone say “I hate all these dam guato’s polluting our country” as though they did something to provide the very freedom in which we live in. Thanks for the nice responses I appreciate it ;)

Melonking's avatar

Well, I can see my point of view is not going to win in this…. But I must say its hardly true that America is the greatest country in the world.

wildflower's avatar

I think it’s great that you feel that way, but I have to say, I think you give the ignorance around you too much validation by 1) excusing them as not being racist (thinking certain nationalities are less than people is just as bad as discriminating based on appearances) and 2) giving lengthy justifications why those ignorant views are wrong – (devil’s advocate here) who are you trying to convince? them or you?

If this is what is right for you, then anyone who isn’t supportive of that, is not supportive of what is right for you. Obvious, I know, but might need to be said.

Bri_L's avatar

tell them to trace their roots.

Then tell them to go to this link and read.

Here is an excerpt:

“Quiñones first entered this country as an illegal immigrant from Mexico. After years of working as a laborer and attending community college, he gained legal status and graduated from the University of California, Berkeley. From there he attended Harvard Medical School, where he graduated with honors. He completed his residency in neurosurgery at the University of California, San Francisco, where he also completed a postdoctoral fellowship in developmental and stem cell biology.”

He is now an assistant professor of neurosurgery, oncology, neuroscience, and cellular and molecular medicine at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. He directs the brain tumor surgery program at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center and operates a lab that researches the role of stem cells in brain tumors and brain cancer.

bodyhead's avatar

I say keep the girlfriend and dump your racist friends.

Bri_L's avatar

@ Melonking – second only to Djabooty my friend. and that is ‘cause they make a mean cup of coffee.

Melonking's avatar

It would be unwise to desert your friends, You should come up with a compromise.

@ Bri L – I have 1 thing to say to you. I don’t like coffee

JackAdams's avatar

What would be “weird,” IMHO, is if you did not try to help your date to become a LEGAL immigrant.

There are ways that that can be accomplished, and it is what I would do.

flameboi's avatar

Keep going, I mean, it doesn’t matter where the girl is from, I still don’t get why do we call foreing alliens illegal, since when a desire for making your dreams come true should be prosecuted! I’m totally against discrimination, specilally when we talk about people that has left everything they love behind to have a better future for their families…

Melonking's avatar

I’m going to pull out of this now before we get any deeper into what is the greatest country in the world, also I defiantly see that my point of very is out numbered very much.

wildflower's avatar

I wonder if this is the time to point out I am in fact a foreign national in melonking’s country….or is that just instigating silly debates?

Melonking's avatar

Arg dont try and pull be back into this, It wont work I’m gone good bye.

wildflower's avatar

what a tragic loss!

jca's avatar

i say if you like the girl that’s all that counts. go for it and you may find a great relationship that perseveres. however, do be careful that she is looking for a free ticket to legality. you seem determined to date her no matter what. the bottom line is if you like her and she likes you that’s it.

right now i have a crush on my doctor and he’s so hot i think about him all the time. however, i can’t have him so it’s just a crush.

Bri_L's avatar

he/she never made a point. he/she just said three things.

He/she didn’t like immigrents
He/she didn’t think America was the greatest country in the world
He/she didn’t like coffee.

those aren’t points those are opinions

Bri_L's avatar


it does say “king”

Melonking's avatar

@wildflower – If I stay I will just say something I will regret, no stop tempting me to come back im gone.

wildflower's avatar

oh the temptation….

JackAdams's avatar

Bri_ L reminded me of this boy who graduated Valedictorian from his Sandy Eggo high school class, and during his graduation ceremony address, let it be known that he and his parents were in the USA, illegally.

As expected, the INS immediately instituted deportation proceedings against him and his parents, until elected officials (in response to much public pressure and very bad press) issued him and his parents what was called a “retroactive” visa.

If it had been up to me, I would also have given him and his folks a retroactive Master Card

shilolo's avatar

@Bri. I know Dr. Quinones, having worked with him in the hospital. He is a stellar doctor, and human being, to boot. Thanks for pointing out that link, as I didn’t realize he had moved to Hopkins.

8lightminutesaway's avatar


“I’v never even herd of gumalta of what ever its name is. I’v never liked immigrants”

Bri_L's avatar

@shilolo-wow – I would live to meet him, shake his hand, thank him for not giving up.

shilolo's avatar

In truth, I didn’t know anything about his background. He certainly didn’t strike me as different in any way. Frankly, he was one of many neurosurgery residents I worked with as an Infectious Diseases consultant.

tinyfaery's avatar

Man am I glad I live in Los Angeles. I’ve dated people from almost any race/culture you can think of. I’m fairly certain some of these people’s parents came to this country illegally. I’m half Mexican, and in my case my mother’s white side of the family were illegal immigrants, but my father’s family lived in what is now Texas for generations before the Puritans landed.

Man if you have friends that think this way, you might want to consider looking at yourself in this situation. I’m not racist (but, I won’t say I’m not prejudiced, because everyone is in some way), and as such I have no friends that think in such ways. I don’t condone or tolerate such views, so I refuse to surround myself with these people. What about you? How did you feel before meeting this girl. Did you laugh along with their racist jokes?

syz's avatar

“I get made fun of a lot from my American friends who think Guatemalans are less than people. I mean it’s not like their racist but they talk about them like they’re not actual people”

How is that not racist?? You need to get new friends.

marinelife's avatar

Sorry to pile on a bit, qualitycontrol. I am glad you love your girl, and see her as the wonderful person that she is.

You need to reshape some of your own thinking. Your friends are racist. To say that someone from another country is not human is the worst level of racism and ignorance. People’s legal status and country of origin has nothing to do with their personhood.

Please think hard about changing your friendships. Also, do not let this kind of talk lie. You have a responsibility to yourself and your girl to point out how wrongheaded their thinking is when those kind of opinions are uttered in your presence.

rj325's avatar

if she’s hot, why not!

allengreen's avatar

Are they hiring?

zina's avatar

in agreeing with several of the posts already made (such as Marina’s just above), i would suggest thinking about your own vocabulary – calling her “illegal” or “an illegal”, an “alien”, or even just focusing on her as an “immigrant”, etc – as you said, she’s a PERSON. though those terms may be technically true, they shouldn’t be CONCEPTUALLY true—no person is ILLEGAL, just for existing – that has to do with a country’s (in this case, the US’s) crazy legal code. you seem to really care about her and that’s what’s important, but everything you’ve said taken into account, it leaves me somewhat surprised at how you worded your question (and description). i suppose i’m just suggesting reflecting on how you really think of her – deep down, away from friends and political correctness and anything else, just deep down in your heart and mind. just food for thought.

cyndyh's avatar

qualitycontrol, I have to wonder. What would qualify as racist to you? What do you actually think that word means?

stratman37's avatar

“they just do the jobs Americans don’t want to do.” That lie is SO played.

Bri_L's avatar

@stratman37 – I disagree with that completely. would you elaborate?

stratman37's avatar

If illegal immigrants were not here, those lazy Americans would have no excuse for not taking those jobs up. And if our welfare system worked a little better, they’d be pressured more to TAKE those jobs.

stratman37's avatar

“they just do the jobs Americans don’t want to do.” makes about as much sense as me telling my wife, “yeah, there’s a whore in our bed letting me put it up her poop chute, ‘cause she’s just doin’ the job you don’t want to do!”

Bri_L's avatar

I don’t think the “lazy americans” are not the ones using “them” as an excuse for not taking those jobs. The “lazy americans” are using the poor pay, poor hours, poor benefits and poor working conditions.

They believe, as the rest of the country does, that they deserve better than that, and as such won’t settle for it. I honestly don’t think they would if you did get rid of “them”.

I think your on to something though with the welfare system working better. When was the last time that was overhauled.

cyndyh's avatar

During the Clinton administration, Bri.

Stratman, most of what people know of as “welfare” in this country is aid for families with small children and aid to the disabled. So, who do you want picking fruit and veggies -single mothers of small children or the disabled? Should farms be equipped with handicapped access between rows?

I’m not talking about jobs that have been recently outsourced that Americans used to do in offices on phones and computers. But there are jobs that you can’t find many Americans to do. But I guess if things continue the way they have been we might be able to find a lot of Americans who’d be happy to do them. I hope not.

bodyhead's avatar

cyndyh, the mistake you’re making is this: There are jobs that Americans don’t want to do and will not do at the ‘current’ wage. Raise the wage and all the sudden people want to do it (like magic).

This would however make a lot of products and services more expensive. Some of the same people who argue to get illegal aliens out of the country would be the same ones complaining about the rise in costs once the aliens get deported.

I could really argue both sides of this point. If my ancestors stole this land and killed the majority of the people that it belongs to, does that give me more of a right to use it then someone from overseas (no matter what bureaucratically hoops they’ve jumped though)?

stratman37's avatar

when my cat doesn’t want to eat the dry cat food, and I’m out of the canned cat food, she’ll eventually eat it.

cyndyh's avatar

@bodyhead: I do get what you’re saying, and we’re on the same page. There would be a whole lot of complaining if farm workers were paid a living wage as soon as that cost was seen at the produce aisle. I could argue both sides of this one, too.

@stratman37: Really? My cat used to just get outside and start killing things instead. :^> Seriously, though, is your solution to make things so bad that people will do anything to live? I’d prefer what would seem to be bodyhead’s approach on this one—mixing in some of the wet food with the dry.

Bri_L's avatar

@ stratman – As I said in my response above:

“I don’t think the “lazy americans” are not the ones using “them” as an excuse for not taking those jobs. The “lazy americans” are using the poor pay, poor hours, poor benefits and poor working conditions.”

And we are not talking “gee I can’t afford cable” or as many texting minutes as I want. We are talking about food shelter and clothing

As I understand it, you think the “just doing the jobs americans don’t want to do” is a cop out. If they were gone, we should then let what ever societal/economic class is closest to having to do that work suffer until they have no choice. If they don’t do it, it is their fault.

Am I following this correctly?

And people will find other ways. Crime, fraud etc.

charrua's avatar

Love is love…is totally normal. So go ahead and love her.

qualitycontrol's avatar

If anything, immigrants have created a whole new social class no one is really aware of. Since they came in at the bottom, everyone else gets pushed up. You see right now I’m 19 and have half a degree and I’m sitting in an office typing on a computer with full benefits and drive a new truck, oh and I live on my own too. It wouldn’t be possible because I wouldn’t work for 8$ dollars an hour and they will. It’s much better than the 15$ a month they make in their country. I just think they all need to be made legal as soon as possible. Could you imagine what it would do to our economy if the 11 million illegal immigrants in our country paid taxes? The government can do it they just won’t. Why was it ok in the early 1900’s for people to immigrate here? America was called “The Melting Pot” because it welcomed people from all over the world. It was fine when Europeans were coming here but now that South Americans want to come here all of the sudden their criminals and we use words like aliens to describe? That just disgusts me. They are people too just like us and we should welcome them in.

Bri_L's avatar

@qualitycontrol – very very good points!!!

cyndyh's avatar

Are you talking about illegal immigrants making $8 an hour? If so, where are you that that happens.

qualitycontrol's avatar

It happens where I work. The manual labor is outsourced to a temp agency. My company pays the temp agency 11 dollars an hour for each person. The temp agency then pays the people 8$ an hour. They really, REALLY take advantage of them. In the city where they live there are stores that cash checks for illegal people and they charge them 1% of their check. Oh, and the temp agency also charges each person 30$ a week for transportation. So I guess when it’s all said and done they probably make out with 5 or 6 an hour. It’s disgusting, isn’t it? And the people are happy because in their country they make like 5 dollars a day. They all send money home to their families too.

cyndyh's avatar

If the temp agency is in the US that sounds really unlikely. Anything that’s not a cash business and a lot of things that are are more carefully tracked than that. A social and a driver’s license or state ID are needed to be on the books at all. Temp workers that are getting that kind of pay are going to be citizens.

qualitycontrol's avatar

No they are not citizens, that’s why they are temps because my company cannot hire them because none of them have SS #‘s. It’s documented in the company handbook that we pay 11$ per person and the temp agency pays them 8$. I don’t know how the temp agency pulls it off but there are ways and a lot of them do exist. How else would they be working here and not have a visa or green card?

cyndyh's avatar

qc: Citizens in many many places would show up for jobs that pay that, so why would the temp agency risk it with illegals? They wouldn’t. You usually find illegals in cash businesses.

bodyhead's avatar

They’re probably treated as independent contractors. Once they make $500 dollars (which is the point at which you have to file a 1099 with the IRS), the temp agency won’t give them any work until they re-register with a different name. That way, the only illegal activity is done fully by the migrant worker and the American business is able to work fully within the laws of this country.

It took me two seconds to think of that. Surely there are even better ways to abuse the system that we haven’t even thought of.

qualitycontrol's avatar

Ok, but would you want to stand in one spot separating frozen fish on a conveyor for eight hours straight? “Citizens” may look for a certain pay including 8$ an hour but also have a choice over the quality of work they do. And even though you think it isn’t possible it’s happening right now. They get a check from the temp agency and then go cash it at the check cashing place that charges them 1%. They register with fake names and some even have fake SS#‘s that for all we know the temp agency assigns to them. Cheating the system isn’t hard. They are bussed in every day in big white vans with tinted windows so no one can see inside. This is really how it is. The temp agency risks it with illegals because they’re making a killing on them. If they send us 100 temps for 8 hours they make 3$/person per hour. That’s 2400$ for one shift (we run 2 shifts) without them having to lift a finger. All they have to do is get them here. It’s worth the risk.

sundayBastard's avatar

Countries have borders not hearts!

mangeons's avatar

Is it really up to us Flutherites to decide if it’s weird? ;)

qualitycontrol's avatar

no it doesn’t matter I LOVE her

bright_eyes00's avatar

I know someone who married an illegal from Mexico…but that was so she could get her citizenship. I think that is wrong, but if you love her then more power to you.

swtsally's avatar

if you like her then it shouldnt matter what others think about your relationship with her. if you dont care that she’s an immigrant like your friends do, then dont even pay attention to them. it’s your life, your relationship.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Me gustan las muchachas de Guatemala, si!

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

Great question points for you for using the correct term: illegal immigrant.

Glow's avatar

Nope, its cool with me.

Nullo's avatar

Would be better if she were here legally.

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