General Question

acrossdarkwinds's avatar

How to get out of being "friends with benefits"?

Asked by acrossdarkwinds (69points) September 9th, 2008

I’ve been seeing this boy for like two weeks. And I just asked him what to call us; and he said friends with benefits. This is my first “relationship” and I don’t think it should be a friends with benefits one. What should I do?

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20 Answers

augustlan's avatar

Just tell him it’s not what you had in mind, and go about meeting new people until you find what you do have in mind.

JackAdams's avatar

I can’t improve at all, on the previous answer, so I won’t try.

Mr_M's avatar

Just make sure you become friends with NO benefits! Keep your clothes on.

PupnTaco's avatar

“Friends with benefits” is a BS way of saying he wants to take advantage of you and fool around with other girls.

Gbach's avatar

go for other guys and make sure he sees u with them if he gets hurt and confronts you, tell him its his fault for saying you 2 were friends with benefits, if he doesn’t mind then u know he’s not worth a relationship anyways.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

Just give him time, Carli. He isn’t ready for a relationship right now and for good reasons. Besides, Jer is a little crazy and getting into a relationship with him might be best taken slowly. I understand what you might be feeling, I do, and just be sure to keep YOUR options open. You’re at a new school and you look GREAT. Just up that confidence of yours and get out there. You’ll get someone, BETTER than Jer. But like I said, if you REALLY like him, just give him a little time. I’ll make sure he doesn’t fuck with you. I love you, sis.

marinelife's avatar

I think you need to think more of yourself and what you deserve. Why would you sleep with someone who announces he only wants you as an occasional lay until someone better comes along? That is what friends with benefits is.

Ask yourself what the benefit is to you? Drop him and look for someone new.

gailcalled's avatar

And if you have been seeing him for only two weeks, I hope that you have not yet provided the benefits. Wait for someone who really cares for you and vice versa, please. This guy doesn’t sound like Mr. Right or even Mr. Sortof Right.

wenbert's avatar

@acrossdarkwinds Just go out with someone who cares about a relationship instead. If he texts don’t reply. If he calls, don’t answer :P

emilyrose's avatar

stay away from this boy.

Nimis's avatar

Sorry to answer a question with a question…but, is he a good lay? ( That would kind of affect my answer.)

cyndyh's avatar

If you had more experience and wanted the “benefits” without any attachment like he does, you wouldn’t be asking this question. Find someone better or spend some time with real friends. That’s not a relationship, and he’s told you as much. Say “no” to him.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

@nimis, She hasn’t slept with him.

augustlan's avatar

Well then, what “benefits” is he speaking of?

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

@augustlan, Just kissing and cuddling. Maybe fondling. thats weird to think about since she’s my sister

augustlan's avatar

Ok…that’s much better :) Sounds innocent enough, but I wouldn’t want her to get her heart broken if she’s looking for a boyfriend and he doesn’t want to be one.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

Yeah, I hear ya. I’ll kick his ass if he messes with her. But he’s a good kid.
Oh, and sorry Carli for taking over your thread. I know you don’t get on much!
Think of it as me keeping your fluther seat warm lol

Mr_M's avatar

@aneed, and you know for a fact it ends at fondling because…?

You are there?

And I’d say fondling is definitely a “benefit”, depending upon what’s being fondled and for how long.

gailcalled's avatar

I agree with Mr M; that’s a lot of activity for only two weeks.

silentmobius05's avatar

Don’t ever entertain his friends with benefits because you wouldn’t be happy at the end of the day.. Because he can still mingle with the other girls.. Find someone who will be there as a true boyfriend that will totaly make you happy and respect you in a relationship.

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