Social Question

Amy43's avatar

What should I do?

Asked by Amy43 (47points) February 21st, 2021 from iPhone

I’ve made some friends but for a year I’ve been lyin that I’m not a virgin. My real friends know I am and they are gona come stay with me for a while and I’m freaking out of both of them finding out the truth! Im sick of Lying.

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12 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

Why do you need to lie about not being a virgin?

smudges's avatar

Wait…your real friends know you are a virgin, but you’re afraid of them finding out the truth…? Don’t they know the truth?

kritiper's avatar

Set them straight from the get-go if it bothers you so much. And resolve to never lie again.

sadiesayit's avatar

If you’re worried it will become a topic of conversation: you could tell your newer friends the truth before your closer friends arrive, or you could ask your closer friends not to talk about/share your sexual activity. I don’t think it’s anything to hide or be embarrassed about. But if you’re not comfortable sharing this type of information with newer friends, you don’t have to—and you can explain to your closer friends that you’re not comfortable with others knowing this about you.

(In the future, too, you don’t have to lie if you’re not comfortable sharing—you can simply tell people, “I don’t kiss and tell,” or “I’m not comfortable talking about this.” Those would be true statements that maintain your privacy.)

Zaku's avatar

In my opinion, outside of certain communities that I would tend to think are pathological, I would say that no one should worry about virginity, and anyone who makes someone else’s virginity their concern is a jerk who isn’t worth giving any thought to.

So what to do, is to stop worrying about it, and don’t be friends with anyone who tries to mess with you in any way that this would ever come up. Otherwise known as learning to have good boundaries.

seawulf575's avatar

Own it. Whether you are a virgin or not is not that big a deal. Society puts more issues on it than there really are. Look at it this way…you have never had any relationships that went that far so you have less emotional baggage than those that have.

Smashley's avatar

No one cares as much as you think. If they’re good friends you can just find the right time to own it and move on. It’s ok to be embarrassed. It passes, and frankly it’s good practice for being an adult.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Ugh, I feel your anxiety. I was the last one in my friend group, too, makes you feel like a freak.
I was honest about it, which made me a target for some of the guys but my friends were protective.
Another vote for honesty with your besties.

RayaHope's avatar

I know this is a dated question, but it was handed to me so I will try to answer it. Although, I am say you’re a virgin and your friends know you’re a virgin BUT you’re afraid they will find out the truth that you are a virgin?! Sorry but I don’t see the problem here. (shrug) ¯\(ツ)

SnipSnip's avatar

Very dramatic. Stop lying and get laid and all will be well.

tedibear's avatar

@smudges and @RayaHope the new friends think she isn’t a virgin, the old friends know she isn’t.

In my opinion, I think @Smashley gives great advice.

Pandora's avatar

Unless you belong to some religious cult, no one really cares. @Smashley is right. Its also a good lesson on how to make real friends by being honest about who you are. Not that sleeping or not sleeping around is who you are, but being dishonest can lead people to mistrust you. I knew a lady once who had a hard time making friends. She would make up stories and crisis to keep friends interested in her and she was jealous of the attention I got because I was new to the group. Funny enough, she thought apparently that I was popular so she constantly tried to undermine me in small ways. One day I told her I really didn’t care to be popular and it wasn’t me that would cause her to get the cold shoulder from others. It was that they felt they couldn’t trust her because of all her tall tales and jealousy.

Friends come and friends go, so there is no point in being someone you are not. It becomes a chore to be someone else and you will realize they can’t be your friend if they never really knew who you are.

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