General Question

arcoarena's avatar

Why does pain turn some people on?

Asked by arcoarena (692points) September 10th, 2008

I was talking to a friend of mine recently and he was telling me how he recently met a girl who was into the same things sexually as he was and when I questioned what exactly he meant he said he was really into asphyxiation and waterboarding during sex and he met a girl who also was deeply into this too. I mean I know this isn’t common but what I mean is it just the excitement of mixing pain with pleasure or is there more to it?

I mean it’s definitely not my style at least. lol

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24 Answers

Gbach's avatar

it releases adrenalin which causes a rush and that is what causes some people to get turned on

JackAdams's avatar

I don’t know exactly why some folks are like that, but getting turned on from receiving pain (and in many cases, from the giving of pain) is something that all IRS employees appear to have in common.

psyla's avatar

The GOP as well.

psyla's avatar

Try to “add yourself” to your own Fluther (on the “buddy list” page). Now THAT’S painful!

Mr_M's avatar

I can’t understand the appeal either. And they talk about “safe” words? Mine would be “What the #$@% do you think you’re doing, you stupid @#$%???!!! IT HURTS!!! IT HURTS!!!”

flameboi's avatar

Michael Hutchence died practicing those kind of things, I don’t know if its worth the risk

marinelife's avatar

There is a lot of danger for the receiver in the practices that you are describing. We don’t really know enough about human sexuality to know why some people associate pain and fear with sexual pleasure.

There is speculation that it can be caused by childhood trauma, but I have always thought that seems unlikely to explain every instance of it.

scamp's avatar

I have a strong feeling I will regret asking this, but what exactly is ‘waterboarding”?

marissa's avatar

Gbach is right about the adrenalin. It is just like people who get sexually aroused during a heated debate (yah! go debate team!), a passionate arguement (think how great ‘make up’ sex can be), after be scared half to death (notice in the movies how often fear leads to sex)

JackAdams's avatar

@scamp: “Waterboarding” is something the GOP wishes for all Liberals and/or Democrats to endure.

BTW, I hope ya had a terrific birthday, yesterday!

arcoarena's avatar

lol. yeah i mean i feel like it has something to do with adding a level of intensity that can only be achieved through serious fear and pain.

and @scamp, waterboarding is basically a form of torture by means of drowning.

JackAdams's avatar

Waterboarding is also another example of your tax dollars at work.

scamp's avatar

@JackAdams Thanks for the informative link. I can’t imagine why someone would get sexual pleasure from such a thing. it seems like there will always be thrill seekers that want to “live on the edge”, but I can think of much beter ways to get my jollies. Also thanks again for the birthday wishes. I had a great day!

MacBean's avatar

An article on this topic just popped up on my Google Reader just recently.

fuzzyjay's avatar

People get turned on by all sorts of crazy things. If it’s not your particular fetish then it will always be strange to you. To each their own, however, the fetish I don’t get is balloons.

JackAdams's avatar

@scamp: You’re welcome, for the birthday wishes.

Will you be having another one, next year around this same time?

scamp's avatar

Nah, at this point I think I’ll only admit to one every couple of years, lol!

JackAdams's avatar

Then I’ll cancel the order I placed, with Frederick’s of Hollywood for the whips and leather boots

scamp's avatar

Well in that case…..

JackAdams's avatar

I just knew I could get you to reconsider…

scamp's avatar

You left these behind last time!!

JackAdams's avatar

Those aren’t mine.

I only use ones that are lined with fake fur.

MissAnthrope's avatar

The Pleasure of Pain (Psychology Today)

and The Causing of Pain to Enhance Sexual Pleasure:

” * SM sex is obtaining pleasure from an exchange of power and/or pain in consensual sex play or sexual fantasy.
* SM sex is, by definition, consensual. Non-consensual sex is an abuse of power and is therefore sexual violence, not SM sex.
* There are no predetermined roles in SM sex. Power relations are determined by choice.

“These three points figured frequently in the evidence received from individual respondents. An academic respondent who has made a study of the subject said that SM sex is essentially a theatrical activity in which the sadists and masochists act out roles of symbolic dominance and submission, of shaming and being shamed. Their aim is not pain per se, which they fear as much as anyone else, but pleasurable excitation which is linked, or becomes switched to, sexual pleasure. They may suffer some degree of injury, but they view this much as a sports player views the risk of injury which is inevitably found in most games. Another respondent said that SM sex is essentially a matter of role-playing. One person is the giver of “punishment”, and the other is the receiver. They may frequently reverse roles. They may be both of the same sex or of different sexes. It greatly enhances the enjoyment for the receiver if he or she feels completely under the domination of the giver. Hence, temporarily, the giver is granted complete control. A third respondent said that SM games often involve fantasies of domination and submission, and that the different roles are freely entered into and do not necessarily reflect the participants’ roles in real life.

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