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ragingloli's avatar

What are some of the most ridiculous/funny threats you have ever heard, either in fiction or real life?

Asked by ragingloli (48342points) 1 month ago

For example, in the recent Robin Hood movie (nominated for 3 golden raspberries), the Sherriff of Nottingham tells Robin Hood, that he is going to “boil him in his own piss”.
What are some gems that you encountered?

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15 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

If you hit me again then I will beat you so bad that you will wake up in the coma ward in ten 10 years.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Then you can spend the next ten years after as a vegetable!

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Then I will beat you again after I get out of prison. You can to then live your remaining days as a vegetable.

ragingloli's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1
It does not sound like your third grade bully was the most creative person.

LuckyGuy's avatar

A woman coworker of mine would “threaten” her kids by saying: “Stop that, or I’ll rip off your arms and beat you with them.”

(Relax. They were actually well behaved and knew she was kidding. Whew!)

ragingloli's avatar

@LuckyGuy
Clearly stolen from the film Deadly Prey

LuckyGuy's avatar

@ragingloli I had not heard of that movie! It’s a classic because it is so ridiculous! I’ll see if I can find it. Thanks!

Brian1946's avatar

Begone knave, or I’ll pepper your porridge! ;-o

Release your taxes, or we’ll brown your bananas!

janbb's avatar

Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.

Strauss's avatar

@ragingloli, @LuckyGuy I think that expression is much older than the video clip! It was in the
1950’s that my mom used to threaten us (yes, jokingly) to beat us over the head with the bloody end.

filmfann's avatar

There was this guy who had one arm who worked with my father. I don’t remember his name, so we’ll call him Lefty.
Lefty walked up to to lunch table, and grabbed my father’s bag of cookies.
My Dad grabbed him by his only arm, and said“I hope you have a real close friend!”
Lefty looked confused, and asked why.
“Because I’m about to tear off your arm, and you’ll need someone to wipe your ass!”

LuckyGuy's avatar

@ragingloli :-) That movie was hilarious! It was so dumb it was fun to watch. I did fast forward through about ⅓ of it but I don’t think I missed many plot points.
What’s are the takeaway lessons?
Spend a half second and aim the gun before you uselessly spray lead in the woods.
Hand grenades only kill bad guys.
When you capture someone and intend to kill them just do it. No discussions are necessary.
You can’t trust mercenaries or the people who hire them.

kritiper's avatar

“He’s gonna shoot you so full of holes you’ll look like a strainer.”

Strauss's avatar

If you’re not careful I’ll smash my face into your fist!

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