How Spoiled am I?

If you must ask, rotten.

I usually get what I want simply by asking

I can also waste others’ time, and I can throw tantrums when my studying isn’t going well.

These are some red flags right here.

You seem a bit pretentious to me.

It sounds as if someone has told you these things. I’m imagining what it would be like to live with you. I wonder if they are right.

Are you 12?

From where I come, you’d be called privileged. From how you sound, you’re a little pretentious (like the other answerer has pointed out) and from what I understand by reading your summary, you already know you’re spoilt.

How old are you? We have a minimum age of 13 for participation here.

Oh, if you’re 12 and you’re throwing an actual tantrum, you either would need a slap or medication, or both. It’s not cute at 12. I thought the term “tantrum” was an adult referring to something they thought was cute.

You may well be spoiled, but I think context is everything.

My grandparents never owned a home, went to college, or traveled outside of the US.

They said my parents were spoiled who managed to buy a condo in their late 40s, took some classes at a community college, and went to Aruba twice.

They said I was spoiled because I bought a house at 25, earned two degrees, and have been to multiple countries.

My daughter meanwhile is 18, plans to start saving for a house this year, and got into a really difficult nursing program, with a massive academic scholarship, and has traveled since she was one. Is she spoiled?

Personally, I reject that label in all of these cases because whatever each person achieved, whatever benefits they had, stuff they owned, or places they went were the result of their own hard work and that of those who came before them. There were no handouts. Everybody made their own money and paid their own bills. Some as adults, some a little earlier.

The point is, if you’re a kid, the best way you can avoid being spoiled is to truly appreciate what you have, understand that many people are not so lucky, and know that whatever benefits you’ve inherited from your parents are privileges that should not be taken for granted. Then, start taking ownership of things in your life (do your own clothes, clean your room, shovel when it snows, etc.), get a job or volunteer when you’re old enough, and bust your ass in school to be the best student you can be.

Expect nothing but be genuinely appreciative when gifted anything.

Good luck!

@cookieman Yes, “spoiled” gets used to mean different things by different people. Or at least, people have different ideas about what spoiled behavior is.

The dictionary says that to spoil means “to impair the disposition or character of by overindulgence or excessive praise”.

It seems to me there are also people whose disposition is sour, cynical and judgemental, conditioned by their reactions to hardship.

I’m young to but it does look like you are a little spoiled.

This feels like it was written by an adult—but from the perspective of the kid—to ask if the(ir) kid is spoiled.

And the adult thinks the kid is spoiled. But thinks changing the perspective will make the question feel less biased.

That’s my take on this.

No one here can say since we don’t know you but being self-aware enough to ask and think about it, is a great step towards growing up!
Once you figure out the answer and decide the kind of person you want to be, then it’s a choice.

@raum, sounds like you might be right.

I think it depends on how you handle disappointment and not getting your way. Expressing gratitude appropriately. Your ability to share and be generous. How quick you are to help others. Or do you just whine all the time?

Unquestionably, terribly, irredeemably, spoiled.

We should be friends.

You sound like my ex-girlfriend in university. You are fine. Life will happen to you if changes are needed.