General Question

Nimis's avatar

Have you ever taken a "clean wipe" poo?

Asked by Nimis (13127points) September 11th, 2008

It varies with my diet. But sometimes I take a shit, wipe and there’s nothing there. I thought this was normal until (somehow?) it was brought up in a conversation and everyone looked at me like I was insane. And it’s not because of my lackluster wiping skills either! If anything, I’m a little OCD about it and over wipe m’ bum. This absurd debate has escalated to the point where said dis-believing friends have asked to see the toilet paper post-fact. Seriously, there has got to be other (occasional) clean crappers out there that can back me up.

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50 Answers

loser's avatar

Why on earth are you asking this?!!

Nimis's avatar

Loser: Crapping solidarity! No…I actually just want to help settle a debate amongst my friends.

loser's avatar

Okay, I have done the clean wipe poo thing.

winblowzxp's avatar

A clean wipe means a good thorough poo. I love seeing nothing on the paper after making myself doodie free. That means that it’s all gone from my bum.

scamp's avatar

What a shitty topic!!

poofandmook's avatar

But how do you know it’s a clean wipe poo? Do you wipe until it burns, or do you take a quick peek?

winblowzxp's avatar

I always peek

Nimis's avatar

Loser & Tiny: Whoa! My first two responses are both yes! Whoohoo!

WinB: Wait…is that a yes?

Scamp: Nyuk.

Poof: Until it burns.

WinB: Damn, you! You’re messing with my statistics! That’s my friends’ argument when I say that there are people out there who have taken a “clean wipe” poo. Damn you. Wipe more thoroughly, THEN answer the question.

Loser & Tiny: Please say you wipe until it burns.

gailcalled's avatar

@Nimis: with all that’s going on, you can’t find more interesting or important things to discuss or get involved with? Go get people registered to vote or something.

Nimis's avatar

Gail: I don’t think most people join Fluther to further any great cause. I’m just here for some light-hearted entertainment…and maybe help out anyone that I can with both their serious and absurd dilemmas? I didn’t mean for my question to offend your erm…high fluthering standards?

Let me rephrase the question then…Has anyone owned a cat who has had a “clean wipe” poo?

gailcalled's avatar

I am not offended; just bored with the seemingly endless fascination with urine and excrement. That is not my idea of entertainment – light or heavy-hearted. And you would be surprised at many of the collective’s reasons for joining (having little or nothing to do with toilet paper). How old are you?

sacaver's avatar

Man, the no-wipe poo is like winning a $2 lottery ticket. Sure, it’s not enough to get worked up over, but it does make your day that much better.

winblowzxp's avatar

I always look…that’s how I know that the paper is poo-free

windex's avatar

wtf, a clean wipe on the FIRST wipe? does you poo come out shrink wrapped?

I am also OC and HAFTA take a shower everytime I go #2 (I just don’t fell clean even if I wipe 20 times

That ain’t no skid mark in yo trousers!

RandomMrdan's avatar

yeah, on occasion I do get the “take a shit, and nothing is there when I wipe” I always feel amazed when it happens.

Nimis's avatar

Aneedle & Random: Whoohoo! Two more! Does that take it to 7 yes, 3 unanswered (no?) and 1 no…that’s way higher than I thought. I wonder if Fluther or my group of friends is a more indicative sampling of the general public? Hrmmmm….

Gail: Bodily functions are endless fascinating! That isn’t to say that other more important/serious/mature things are not. I didn’t join to ask questions about poop, I was just genuinely interested in an answer to this particular question and thought this an appropriate forum to ask. Regardless, wouldn’t it take less effort and create less bad energy to simply ask a question that you are interested in? On the internet, only as old as my answers make me appear. So in this case, like 14?

Sacaver: Ha!

Winblow: Phew. I thought you meant that you just take a quick glimpse to see if there was anything to wipe.

Windex: Erm…I’ll take that as a no? Really? You take a shower every time you go? What if you need to go at work? Or at a gas station? Don’t tell me you only poo at home…
Totally OCD about being clean. As a kid, I used to shake the poo out of my diapers as soon as I went. If you think about it, diapers are really wrong! Having your urine and feces wrapped up next to you? Gah!

gailcalled's avatar

Maybe the presidential and vice presidential candidatew will add their answers to this poll., thereby widening the pool.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@nimis I have a friend that also has had a clean whipe poo before too.

sacaver's avatar

And just for the record, yes, I have had the clean wipe poo, too.

(It’s like a Dr. Seuss book gone horribly awry.)

critter1982's avatar

Yes and it’s glorious. For those many poo’s that come out not so clean I would recommend man-wipes. Basically a baby wipe for a guy but makes your butt feel so fresh and clean. “Roses really smell like poo poo poo”

poofandmook's avatar

I really don’t think every question has to be some giant serious discussion.

critter1982's avatar

I don’t think people were being that serious!

poofandmook's avatar

No but there were people mildly annoyed with the fact that this question was anti-serious. Personally, it gave me a good chuckle last night. Also, it exemplifies the glory of going into the bathroom knowing you’re going to take forever and then the simple joy of realizing there’s no clean-up necessary, yet you feel completely relieved. What a way to start a Sunday morning, if you ask me.

critter1982's avatar

:) Sunday morning no wipe poos are awesome

gailcalled's avatar

And for clever, original and uberbatman, here’s the theme song for this question

(I am never annoyed.)

gailcalled's avatar

If you can’t catch the words (by Brit. satirists Michael Flanders and Donald Swann)
read here.

scamp's avatar

Ever run out of toilet paper and use a baby wipe? Now that’s a clean wipe!!

poofandmook's avatar

my boyfriend insists on those Cottonelle wet wipes.

scamp's avatar

I have them. They’re great.. but too “wet.” I feel like I need to get out the blow dryer when I’m done!

Nimis's avatar

Scamp: Does it bark at you when you do?
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

scamp's avatar

Of course! You know cats and dogs don’t get along, ha ha!!

Judi's avatar

When my son was little he would come out screaming “I Pooped my Magic Poop!” when he had one of these. He was also known to announce “I pooped my BIG ONE!”

Nimis's avatar

Scamp: Haha…

Judi: Magic Poop! Too bad I can’t edit the question…

Judi's avatar

Yes, the poor kid (now 24) has several potty stories that we get to tell all his girlfriends. Like the time he slammed the toilet seat down a little to soon, (ouch) then a day later came running out (naked) to tell guests “Ya wanna see my bobo?” equipment in hand ready to show. And the time his cousin convinced him to pee on an electric fence, and the time he fell into an outhouse. Yes, the poor kid is scarred for life.

scamp's avatar

Well if he wasn’t before this, he is now!! Did you mean boo boo? Or is that his pet name for his penis?

Judi's avatar

I meant boo boo! But that is what he had in his hands to show company!

Strauss's avatar

I’ve had doodie-free wipes, especially when constipated although they have become more and more infrequent.

Chinaman's avatar

This is how I poop. It started at the end of the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade. I thought it was really strange when i wiped the first time and there was absolutely nothing on the paper…like I didn’t even go. I looked down at the toilet bowl and there were multiple stools all pretty thick and long resting just below the water line. The poop was light goldish colored. I remember when this happened i freaked out a little. I was thinking “how the hell could all this poop come out of me so quick and complete?!?” Cuz it was pretty much effortless. It’s like I sat down and it just flowed out of me. I thought it was just that one time. But I pooped like that again the next day, and the next and been pooping like that ever since. I will say that aside from sex, this is probably the greatest feeling a human being can get. If you’ve never had a clean wipe poo then you don’t know what I’m talking about. Afterwards, it’s as if your reborn. The light feeling is indescribable. There’s an overall sensation of “being completely there”. I’m in college now, i live with a friend in a condo next to campus, and he finally found out that I poop like this when he realized that he was always the one switching out the empty toilet roll. I told him I pretty much stopped using toilet paper in high school. Anyways, now that I’ve pretty much written an essay on this, I thank you for posting this question because now i know that I’m not alone in being able to experience this wonderful human phenomenon.

Response moderated
EireGoBragh87's avatar

yea thats happened to me
its better than never ending wipe

pogoman's avatar

The clean wipe poo. Maybe people don’t know about them because you’re only lucky enough to get three or four in a lifetime…like the the splash of toilet water that goes into your hole when you splash one just right….doesn’t happen often enough.

MonsieurDope's avatar

LOL! I just took one of these “clean poop” wipes and since it happens to me all the time I googled it to see if its normal and I find this. But tell your friends it is true! Some of us are just too Fresh! ;)) Lmbo! But yeah…

whatever1's avatar

I eat an extremely healthy LOW-fiber diet and when I go to the bathroom to ah.. go #2, it takes me less than a minute to completely go, and more often than not the toilet paper comes up clean. I haven’t seen a dirty wipe in days, and I go everyday. It will usually only come up unclean if I eat something bad, or something with too much fiber.

My diet is devoid of grains and vegetables though, and only contains small portions of fruit and ~sometimes~ soaked/sprouted seeds which is the only sources of fiber I get.. I don’t even eat fruit everyday and rarely eat any seeds. I hate fiber, it is gross to chew on and doesn’t feel good in my stomach, and comes out too messy.

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