Social Question

chinchin31's avatar

Would you allow your 4 year old child to go on a playdate to a school friend's house alone for the first time if you do not know the other parents?

Asked by chinchin31 (1840points) 3 weeks ago

Okay so my son became friends with someone at school. I text the mother of the kid through the school app for a playdate but then for me it got weird cuz she said I should just let her take my son from school and I pick him up at her house later. I am not comfortable with this. I think it is weird at that age. I think as I do not know the parents I should at least stay for the first play date. However random drop offs for playdates seem to be common in this small town I recently moved to. She seemed to get offended when I suggested I stay the first time and cancelled the date till another time. What would you do?

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14 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I think you should only do what you are comfortable with.

I think I would want to meet the parents if my child was that young, but I would likely not feel I had to stay for the whole date. Although, I don’t think it is completely unreasonable to be there the first time. Just 4 years old is very young and you don’t know her or her home.

I wouldn’t worry about her being offended, she shouldn’t be if she is. Maybe invite the boy to your house and the mom.

Yeahright's avatar

No. You can’t trust people you know, let alone people you don’t know. It is evident the other kid’s mother has issues because any sensible parent would understand the apprehension of others and try to reassure them as opposed to get offended. It is not about her, it’s about your child and you..

KNOWITALL's avatar

No way! Small town folks are WAY overprotective, nothing matters more than your kids safety.
Usually we know each others family for generations so her being offended is very odd since you’ve never met.

canidmajor's avatar

Nope. Especially at that age, I would get to know the parents first.

chyna's avatar

No! I think it’s a huge red flag that she reacted as she did.
Although random drop offs seems common in that town, you are new to the town, and your child’s safety comes first.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

The best parents I know keep watch on the families where their kids hang out, right through the teen years.

“I’m going to Tina’s house.”

“Cool. Have Tina’s mom or dad call me first. Thanks!”

If Tina’s parents have not been clued in, or they can’t be bothered, playdate cancelled.

janbb's avatar

If your child really wants to play with this kid, I would ask the Mom and her child to come to your house first. You could explain to being new to the town, you feel you want to get to know the parents of your child’s friends. But I agree with the others that you are acting in a correctly protective way and should not feel in any way in the wrong. It’s very odd that she was offended.

JLeslie's avatar

@Call_Me_Jay The OP was communicating with the other parent via text.

nightwolf5's avatar

You said you’re uncomfortable with it, and he’s your son, and you have every right to know where and who he’s with. You can never be too careful these days. Not that you have to become big friends with the mom or have much in common, but nice to know your son is in an okay and safe environment with good people. I don’t see a reason see should be offended. I say don’t.

chyna's avatar

^ Apparently you don’t watch Dateline.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

No way in hell. More so a little four year old.

Cupcake's avatar

I wouldn’t be OK with that for my 9 year old even. Out of the question.

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