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willbrawn's avatar

Did either you or your spouses relationship change with your family when you got serious with a spouse?

Asked by willbrawn (6609points) September 12th, 2008 from iPhone

here is my situation: I am getting married in 98 days. I do not live with her, we went way traditional and I love with my parents still and will move in when we get married. My family just recently told me that I ignore them and don’t come around them. My reasoning is three-fold 1. Whenever I come around I get told I’m doing it all wrong and to take there adivce with planning my life. 2. I a weird schedule and try to see my fiancĂ© as much as possible. 3. They don’t really do much, watch tv with them?

Of course this is my point of view of the situation. Did anyone elses relationships with parents change? Like mine is?

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2 Answers

tWrex's avatar

I’ve had this issue. The problem is that it’s not so much that they want you around as they want you to focus on them constantly. Unfortunately your focus has changed – as it should – because you are getting married.

Those that lead sedentary lives – sitting in front of the boob tube all day – want everyone else to do the same. My in-laws are like this. They ask why I don’t sit there with them. Well, because I’d rather do something other than watch some crappy show on ABC, even if it’s going and playing a game with my wife – like rock band, bomberman or mario party.

To this day my Mother and Father still insist on giving me sage advice and telling me where and what I should do. I get it. They want better for me than where I’m at. That’s cool and I appreciate it, but I take it all with a grain of salt. Listen to what they say, but ignore it at the same time. You also have to realize that you are going to have your own family now. You and your wife are your own family. Your parents are going to be extended family in 98 days and that’s something they’ll have to deal with.

If they become real aggravated by it, suggest a family dinner night each week. That’s what my wife and I do with both sides of our family. Make sure that you bring your fiance too because she is family. See if that helps. Things will work out in the end though. They always do.

augustlan's avatar

Family and friends tend to fall to the side when one is in a serious relationship. I think it’s just the way it is. Most people have these issues, and most accept and adjust.

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