Social Question

zoes87974's avatar

My girlfriend doesn't like my best friend?

Asked by zoes87974 (7points) 1 month ago

I have a friend who I have some light history with. We used to have feelings for each other, but the title has always been friends. Eventually, feelings faded, but we’ve been close ever since, and hearing about each other’s new love interests have never been a problem. However, she huge flirt. Fast forward to now, I got a girlfriend. My girlfriend doesn’t like her because this friend is still really flirty with me. I don’t entertain it, and I’ve talked to my friend about how and why I feel guilty whenever she pulls stuff like that. I have no feelings for this friend anymore whatsoever, but I don’t want to lose her because we’re so close. What can I do to allay my girlfriend’s concerns?

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7 Answers

raum's avatar

Tell your girlfriend that if this were a teen romance movie, you would totally end up falling for your friend.

But this is real life, so she shouldn’t worry since you’re an upstanding gentleman.

Just kidding.

Would having them get to know each other help?

chyna's avatar

Your friend needs to tone down the flirting. And if she tells you she can’t, I would have to wonder what her motives are. A true friend doesn’t do things that makes you uncomfortable or do things that makes your girlfriend uncomfortable.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Try reversing the scenario to how would YOU feel if she had a former male friend flirting with HER around you two.

Game playing is what your friend is toying with.

I also wonder of her true motives that in effect drive all other females away.
You friend may be possessive and showing it too.

She had developed a codependency relationship between the two of you, I would separate in order to ‘break free’ from what has become too much.

Become more independent, rather than dependent on her.
Any female would NOT want her and your feelings discussed with his friend.
A big red flag for sure.

kritiper's avatar

To be perfectly fair with your new romantic interest, distance yourself from your old romantic interest. Otherwise, trouble is sure to ensue.

KNOWITALL's avatar

You’re going to have to check the best friend’s behavior. She doesn’t get to act like a jealous child with a toy, you’re a human and you have a girlfriend. You are not hers.

If I were you, I’d tell her (besty) you care for her but she has to knock it off. Back off on flirting, hugs, texting, all of it. Your girlfriend should be able to read all texts and not be hurt. If it’s more than that, you need to stop or break up with the girlfriend.

Forever_Free's avatar

A tough spot.

While the old friend should be able to honor your request to tone it down, if she is flirty, she is flirty.

Your new friend should also be able to trust your word in that nothing is behind it but flirt.

If she is insecure, this may be a red flag to watch out for.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Maybe decide who is most important and let the other one go.
Or quit contacting and hanging out with the friend and if she wants to know why, tell her again.

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