Should I confront this coworker, or leave it alone?

Leave it. Not worth the confrontation. But you have now learned something about her for the future.

@elbanditorso Thanks…I am thinking a cordial work relationship is far more important but it makes me alittle nervous now that she is handling some of the payments for other things and puts me off that everyone else paid but she did not.

I think everyone who volunteered should have been given a shirt. It’s not too much to give out free shirts to people who gave their free time on a weekend or night.

@jca2 The event is just a walk but we primarily make our donations through our staff for the shirts. Since she is my coworker and has helped me with this, I guess I can let it go. Pick my battles, better to be on her good side than bad since I will need her assistance on future things. We both got stuck and loathe the tasks for this so best to just let it slide is what I am getting from this question.

Can you explain the logic of the ideas that cause you to think negatively towards her for this?

My own ideas about it include:

* That she wore the shirt sold at the event, while helping you for the event, seems to me like a way to promote the event, and encourage others to buy the shirt. Doing this was probably worth more to the event, than the shirt could possibly be considered a cost to the event.

* She did it without you telling her to do it, which seems to me like an act of enthusiasm, cooperation, initiative, as well as being willing to dress in the shirt for the event. Those are all positive things.

* Did she even keep the shirt she wore? Will she even wear it again? If so, would that not again be a positive thing, promoting the cause and raising awareness? Isn’t that the main point of shirts with promotional printing on them? So wouldn’t that be a good thing, again?

* You say there are left-over shirts. Even “a ton” of them “that will just sit there.” That means her taking one REALLY cost the event nothing. Removing one is probably even a good thing. At this point, I am starting to get really flabbergasted at the idea that someone would think negative things about her for wearing or keeping one of the shirts.

What is the fundamental unspoken agreement you imagine exists, that you think she violated? What emotions are you feeling about it? Jealousy? Violation? Distrust? Do those feelings remind you of anything in your past? Is it a familiar pattern for you to feel that way about people, sometimes in situations where other people, or even yourself, don’t see it as appropriate?

@zaku. It just rubbed me the wrong way that everyone including me paid for the shirts as a requirement but she just took one. I think that it isn’t fair that we all followed rules, including myself and my bosses, but she did not. I don’t understand why she felt like an exception? Like everyone suggested though, I will just forget about it.

@chelle21689: Even if it was “just a walk,” it’s still free time from everyone who volunteered for the event.

One way to make things even at this point might be to give everyone who paid for the shirt their $10 back.

I worked for an employee organization and we were given shirts and other promotional items all the time whenever we volunteered for things (events on weekends, picnics, parties, celebrations, phone banking for politicians). Giving out free things is one way to “sweeten the deal” for people who are giving their free time, no matter how easy you may feel the work is. No matter how easy you feel it is, it’s still time away from family and friends on weekends or nights. Furthermore, the shirt may cost $10 for those who pay, but as you know, the actual cost of the shirt is only about $3 to $5.

@jca2 This is the VP and what they have done in the past to raise money for that event. It is weird because other events they just give you a shirt but with this particular fundraiser, payment is required because it helps us meet goals. I really wish I didn’t have to be a part of this, I already hate asking money and all of that even my boss is trying to put this away. It takes up so much of our time from work stuff to appease one of the VPs who sits on that non profit board. The donations are through that nonprofit our company page for them. I can’t take back that money and senior leadership would definitley not be for giving back donations for that reason.

Since you’re not confronting her, then the only thing you can do at this point is next time there’s an event, payment would be required in order to get the shirt. Pay the money, get handed a shirt.

@chelle21689 Ah, so it’s the unfairness that your job requires you and others to buy the shirts.

I would think requiring people to “buy” a shirt for a promotion, and even a shirt of which there is an excess, is a violation in several ways. Hopefully a legal violation and one which could be reported and therefore eventually corrected. I would tend to resent that too, but to resent the requirement and/or the employer, rather than the employee who didn’t pay.

“it helps us meet goals” = it helps us lie about having met goals

@zaku I reallllly hope we do away with it. My boss even said it is weird how we put so much effort and it is distracting me from my actual work to coordinate fundraising and promotions. Argh, my predecessor apparently hated it as well lol How is it a violation?

@chelle21689: Making it a requirement for employees to buy a shirt is really not ethical. Requiring employees to contribute to the charity (via purchasing the shirt) is an ethics violation.

I would send a general email before the final tally to see if there are any last-minute contributions from staff, regardless.
I would consider her time donation enough but I do see your point. Perhaps she’s struggling?

If I had the nerve, not sure if I do, I would speak to her quietly (and not accusingly) and say “I just wanted you to know that I covered your donation for the shirt.” And do it.

I would not want to leave her with the idea that she got away with it and that if she tries anything else you will cover for her, but I would not make a public issue of it either.

@kneesox after some thought, it seems best to let go haha

@chelle21689 it’s also true that you could bring it up at any future time, but once you say something, you can’t unsay it.

Just be sure you’re not dealing with someone who would cover their tracks by accusing you first, of doing what she did. Chances are this is not her first small dishonest act.

Mention it to your immediate supervisor or whoever is next in line in your chain of command.

I’m with @jca2 on this issue. She didn’t say “Budweiser” but she still said it all. As far as confronting her, let it go.

@chelle21689
but it makes me alittle nervous now that she is handling some of the payments for other things… It is a very big leap from wearing a cheap shirt out in the open to thinking she may do other things. Be very careful in this line of thinking.

I feel like printed tshirts are always a combination merchandise and promotional item. The workers at hard rock cafe Orlando probably don’t pay for their tshirts even though they’re 35 bucks for the average person.

This person just felt entitled to the promo stuff. Im not really shocked. I’m guessing you are upset because you consider the shirts “For Sale” rather than a give away with donation. Shes donating her time and helping by promoting the shirt. She probably should have asked you, but people are people sometimes.

Lay off. Its a tiny bit shady but, like you said, there will be extras. She is basically taking something of no value, and at least wearing it, which may improve your sales.

Consider that she may had other arrangements to pay it later..check that out first.
I would ask her , myself to get clarity.
Something like” I noticed that your payment didn’t go trough for that T shirt, why is that?”

If she gets away with that what more will she try getting away at in furure?

I would’t trust her in furture, and I ( just me ) would tell her that her trust is at issue and on the line since the other volunteers will find out and wonder why THEY didn’t get free T-Shirts?

Are you in responsible charge of the dollars and sense around the tshirts? If not, it’s outside your control.

Not worth the hassle. Let it go. It’s a tshirt worth about $1–2 cost. If she is wearing it, then she is doing it justice.

I would certainly mention the fact that she wore the shirt without making a donation but there is also another way of looking at it.

By wearing the shirts she is letting potential donors see what it looks like on and there is every possibility that this could increase the donations and sell more shirts.

Did she keep the shirt after the fundraiser? If so I do think she has a moral obligation to make a donation.