Social Question

kneesox's avatar

Is anyone in your life trying to change you? If so, how does that feel?

Asked by kneesox (3872points) 1 month ago

How does it feel to you when you know someone is trying to change you? Trying to get you to stop or start doing something, most likely? Or change the way you feel about something?

How do you react to that and how do you respond? What if it’s something big (learn to listen better, quit drinking, change your career) instead of small (rinse your dishes, turn off the bathroom light)? or are the big and the small all actually the same?

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16 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

It usually feels terrible. I don’t think anyone is trying to change me right now, but I know that some people in my life wish I was different about some things. I feel the same way about some of the people in my life. Nobody is perfect.

Sometimes people who are trying to change you are trying to help you not be bossy or controlling. Quit drinking, turn off the bathroom light, those sound like trying to be helpful, or maybe the person saying that is getting really sick of living with someone who drinks too much and paying for more electricity than necessary.

janbb's avatar

Nobody in my life as it is now has the power to try to change me.

ragingloli's avatar

My innerer Schweinehund is trying to turn me into an alcoholic.
Just bought a bottle of Sake, so it seems to be working.

smudges's avatar

It pissed me off. But now, so many years later, I think of those people and wish I could tell them, “Thank you for caring about me, because I didn’t care much about myself.” Referring to big things.

rebbel's avatar

I’m with @janbb.

janbb's avatar

@rebbel If you’re with me, just don’t try to change me!

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

If you want you can Google the YouTube video Sunny Muffins | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim is NSFW. It is how I felt in university.

rebbel's avatar

@janbb No no, no more.
I thought it was already nice that you were willing to answer this question the way I wanted you to answer it.

kritiper's avatar

I am Nomad. I am perfect.
I am single. I am perfect.

canidmajor's avatar

Not any more.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Not so much now, but when I was younger I was too loud, too rambunctious, my red hair was obnoxious, too everything. It was very hurtful to my young self so I subdued myself into a proper lady.
Now I wish I had cared much less about that preacher lady’s opinion of me. It stole much of my joie de vivre.

Forever_Free's avatar

That would be no. I also would never let that occur. While I do know how to meet someone half way or concede on some things, changing is only for me to do.
It is not a good feeling when something like this occurs. I simply call the person out on it when I sense it.

kritiper's avatar

I would feel used. Dirty. Disgusted with myself.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I’m currently being coerced into joining a cult I’m using the world “cult” loosely here, because it isn’t really a cult but it looks like one. The person keeps sending me links to the group’s lectures. The last time we talked they told me the group was hosting a master class that costed half of my salary. It was a discount and I had to be quick or the price would rise up.

It’s really upsetting because that is a person I like a lot. The only thing I can do is try to avoid the topic.

flutherother's avatar

Not since my divorce.

Blackwater_Park's avatar

It feels like nagging. (It is nagging)

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