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SergeantQueen's avatar

Was this not right of the mother to do?

Asked by SergeantQueen (11839points) 1 week ago

There was a kid at Spirit Halloween a few weeks ago really struggling with the store. To me it almost seemed like he maybe had ASD but I am not a doctor so can’t say for sure. He was covering his ears and begging his mother to let him go in the car. She wouldn’t. He was maybe 10–13 years old. He was really struggling in the store and was obviously scared.

It really bugged me watching this kid begging so much. I felt like she should have just let him in the car. I don’t know why it bugged me so much but I almost said something rude to the mother about it.

What do you think?

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16 Answers

SnipSnip's avatar

I think that parents don’t need unsolicited help. That’s the nice way to say it.

kneesox's avatar

I can see why this bothered you and is still bothering you. It would bother me too. But you don’t know the backstory.

Inspired_2write's avatar

When one witnesses an injustice, strp in to help.

I would had asked the mother and child if there was something that I could help them with or ask the sales clerk to step in.

Even if the mother ells at you or the sales clerk If I was there I would had tol her that perhaps SHE was not considering her sons feelings.

Just me though, as many children are left with physically abusive parents withou any help from others, at least I tried and also let that mother know that you witnessed this behaviour from her. ( abusive).
Example: years ago I did step in the lady ignored me and manhandled the three year old child, I followed her to the next public bathroom ( inthe Mall) and ther discovered that she was dying his blond hair black!

Bottom line: she abducted the three year old in the Mall when the mother wasn’t looking.
Police found two others that she abducted years before living in her house and treated like servants and very abusive.

seawulf575's avatar

Not knowing the whole story, I wouldn’t feel right in stepping in. It might be something the kid does for attention and the mom is trying to break the habit. It might be that facing unusual circumstances is part of a treatment for him. You never know. Having a bad parent is not out of the realm of reality, but isn’t always the only answer.

janbb's avatar

I would find it really hard too to observe perceived cruelty of a parent to a child. Unless it is clearly abuse, there is not much you can do.

jca2's avatar

The child didn’t want to stay in the store but the mother insisted. Maybe she needed something urgently, who knows. It’s hard to say without knowing details but it doesn’t sound like cruelty. It’s hard to second guess or judge parents under most circumstances, just by watching, since there’s always more to the story. If she was physically abusing him, yes, stepping in is warranted. If she’s screaming at him and acting irrationally, then yes, someone should say something to her. Otherwise, I’d stay out of it.

Forever_Free's avatar

Let it go. This is something out of your scope and out of you circle of control.

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gorillapaws's avatar

I agree with @seawulf575. Maybe this was part of some kind of therapy? None of us know for sure. If she was beating the kid though, I would absolutely step in.

flutherother's avatar

Generally speaking it is best not to get involved in these family situations. From your description it doesn’t seem the mother was doing anything very bad. Saying something rude would have been a mistake.

KRD's avatar

I agree with @Waybay it is the job of the parent(s) to take care of their kid(s) and help them when the need help.

SergeantQueen's avatar

It is not unsolicited advice, and I am not conveying well what the child was doing. It was not for attention and the mother was a bitch to him. She was being really rude and the kid was very obviously stressed out and was practically having a panic attack.

Not sure what the “let it go” comments are for, I was just curious what your thoughts are. The mother is a bitch but I didn’t say anything in the moment.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Gosh. That’s a hard one….

Pandora's avatar

I probably would’ve just asked the mom if she needs some assistance, once close enough I would pretend to notice the kid’s distress and say something to the child, like there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s all make-believe. Or if you walked in as mom was telling the child no, you could tell mom you agree it isn’t safe for a child to be unsupervised in a vehicle with so much crime today. Mom may then feel free to give the reason because she feels you have compassion for her and the kid. But if the child does have some sort of condition and mom has no one to watch the kid, then what choice does she have?

I had a friend who had a nightmare kid. He wasn’t terrible two he was a horror show. He would hit and smack her and kick her but she didn’t believe in spanking. And he would do this when he didn’t get his way. Even tried jumping out of the moving car because he wanted to go back in the store so she could buy him a toy. She was a loving mom but everyone would look at her like she must be a monster. It was the other way around. He was spoiled and couldn’t accept the word any, ever. So was she the best mom, nope but she wasn’t abusive nor neglectful. She has just lived paycheck to paycheck and sometimes couldn’t afford to get him stuff he wanted but didn’t need. On more than one occasion strangers told her she was being awful to him and one time someone called security on her. She would promptly curse them out but she was always worried she may land in jail because of his outburst.

My point is don’t judge what you see in a few minutes. Sometimes you don’t know the full story.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s a tough situation.

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