Social Question

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Has anyone noticed. that sometimes it actually pays off to be nice to everyone? Even if you're in a crap mood?

Asked by Nomore_lockout (7577points) 1 month ago

Not that you should do it to be rewarded, it just follows sometimes, regardless? Details below.

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22 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Not always. I told a psychiatrist to F off one day and was released from the hospital. Another time I told a friend to F-off and she called the cops on me. It depends on the situation.
My guess is I was too honest and had anger issues and suppressed it.

elbanditoroso's avatar

No. Quite the opposite. Sometimes the receipient doesn’t understand ‘nice’ and more forceful interaction is need.

jca2's avatar

I’m always nice to people, unless they’re not nice to me. I always thank clerks in stores and will ask how they’re doing and say “have a good day” and stuff like that.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

I have actually been flattered by two convenience store people lately. I was in one yesterday looking for some Tums. The clerk wasn’t busy, he said I’ll find ‘em for you man, no problem. I told him I could do it, I know you guys are busy. He told me it was no problem, I had always been nice to him. Says I don’t mind helping good people, just the assholes I won’t help. I admit that made me feel pretty good. And another guy up the road, always gives me free coffee when I come into his store. Won’t even let me pay him. He is always like, always free for you my friend, you a good guy. You stick up for me! He was referencing an incident a few months back, when a customer got shitty with him an called him a “Pakistani sand rambler”. I told the dude to shut his yap and get out of the mans store. He did. The clerk went, no fighting my friend, but I like you sticking up for me. Free coffee for you from now on! I thought, well I’ll be damn. No need to be shitty to people, we all have bad days. I was kind of amazed that people even notice.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@elbanditoroso In some cases, yeah. I was prepared to stomp that one dude in the dirt that day. If he doesn’t like the dude stay the hell out of his store. He didn’t challenge me, just left. Fug that clown. I guess the clerk figured my head was in the right place anyway. And he always has some mighty good coffee!

rebbel's avatar

Very, very rarely I meet people that react not nice to my being nice.
It surprises me, and baffles me too, to be honest, that you only come to that realisation now.
I’ve been nice for as long as I can remember, to people, and just in general, and so far nobody has ever violated my trust.
I don’t act nice, my being is “nice”.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@rebbel Well, as a poster mentioned above, re: Anger issues. I was a hot head when I was younger, but I learned to channel it in a positive way. I can’t stand it when people are cruel or abusive to other people, and I will fly off the handle at times. But only in defense of an under dog. That jack ass had no right to bad mouth that guy in his own store. I mean, he might well have kicked MY ass. But he wouldn’t have left without a scratch. Guaranteed.

si3tech's avatar

@Nomore_lockout Yes indeed. Perhaps most especially when in a “crap” mood.

Zaku's avatar

Depends on what flavor of “nice” it is, and how one comes across (particularly if in a crap mood). Sometimes when I’m upset, it can show up in my affect in ways I’m not aware of, and that can upset people unintentionally. But otherwise, I think I get what you mean, and behaving well towards people does tend to be well received more often than not, generally speaking.

Especially compared to many of the other alternatives available when in a crap mood.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

My mood is my own issue. Not any else’s fault if I’m in a bad mood. And I try really hard not to take it out on someone else. Unless you are slinging nasty racial slurs at some innocent person who is just trying to make a living. My bad.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m actually a pretty nice person who helps often and cares about people, but I also take no shit.

janbb's avatar

I’ve kind of never not known it.

KRD's avatar

I never noticed that before.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@KRD Oh come on. I’ve seen people treat you rudely here and you were still kind!
Trust me, I notice even when I don’t comment. While this isn’t a ‘safe space’, we have rules and repercussions.

cookieman's avatar

Same answer as @jca2. I’m always nice to people. And frankly, I don’t care how they react or if I reap some benefit from it. So, I haven’t noticed.

I feel good about being that way and it is really one of those easy/free joys in life.

gondwanalon's avatar

It doesn’t matter if being nice “pays off” or not. Be nice to other people.

It’s wrong to push a poor attitude on others no matter how crappy you feel.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I thought this was normal behavior.

JLeslie's avatar

It’s usually my natural inclination to be nice. Most of the time it pays off I guess. I like being nice.

Sometimes, even if you have to fake it, it winds up becoming real. It can actually change your mood to put on the show.

Sometimes, I purposely switch off the nice if the people I’m dealing with are being abusive. Depends on the situation.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@JLeslie “I purposely switch off the nice if the people I’m dealing with are being abusive”
haha, yes, I call that flipping the ‘bitch switch’. I don’t enjoy it though.

@KRD Well you seem like a nice kid to me. :D

JLeslie's avatar

@KNOWITALL I don’t enjoy it either. I like the “bitch switch” that’s funny.

SergeantQueen's avatar

Yep! I now work customer service/retail and although I sometimes have to force my good mood, it’s worth it when a customer who looks to be having a bad day comes in and smiles when they see my good mood!

@rebbelVery, very rarely I meet people that react not nice to my being nice.
I have had that quite a bit but only at work. I am usually happy and smiling and some people just wanna get in and out and are assholes while doing so. It sucks.

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