Social Question

kruger_d's avatar

Do you honor birthdays with charitable giving requests?

Asked by kruger_d (6335points) January 4th, 2022

I’m referring to the “please give to this charity for my birthday” social media posts. I ask because the requests sort of rub me the wrong way. First, it implies I should give a gift when I might normally just wish them a happy birthday or send a card. Second, if I have already purchased a gift, now I feel a little wrong in giving it. There seem to be layers of guilt and expectation that go against the spirit of gift-giving.

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18 Answers

janbb's avatar

I deleted my credit card info from Facebook some time ago and since most of those birthday charity requests come on FB, I can’t and don’t contribute. I think the posters’ intents are very well meaning but I don’t care to do anything through FB except what I want to do.

If it is a charity that I want to support, I will send a check or donate on their web site and let the friend know that that’s what I’ve done.

A long way of saying, I agree with you.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It seems rather assumptive to me, like we’re somehow obligated to acknowledge their birthday in such a way.

seawulf575's avatar

I have, on several occasions, answered the question “what do you want for your birthday” in a giving way. Especially with the kids. I have told them all at one point or another what I really wanted for my birthday was for them to take any money they thought they might want to spend on me and to put it into a savings account for their future.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever had my kids ask what I wanted for my birthday!

YARNLADY's avatar

I ignore the requests, but feel bad about not being able to help

janbb's avatar

My kids and I made a plan some years ago that we would each donate to a charity of the receiver’s choosing instead of a big Christmas present but that is different from being solicited on social media.

raum's avatar

No, it’s strangely performative.
The request and the donation.
And I don’t feel bad about it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I love that phrase “strangely performative.”

jca2's avatar

I also don’t do any Go Fund Me requests. I don’t want FB having my credit card information or knowing what I donate to and what I don’t.

I saw a Go Fund Me yesterday for some Catholic nuns, who live locally, and need a new elevator in their convent. They are mostly seniors, and they have to walk up four flights of steps. What I think is so preposterous is that the Catholic church is one of the richest entities in the world. I feel bad that the nuns have to do a Go Fund Me and that they have to deal with whatever the Church makes them go through to get decent accomodations, but it’s ridiculous shit that this is what they have to resort to. The goal is 100k and they’ve raised 11k so far (as of yesterday) but it’s totally ridiculous for them.

raum's avatar

@jca2 I donate to GFMs all the time. I don’t use the link on Facebook. Just Google it yourself. Also, I like to research more about them before donating anyway.

Inspired_2write's avatar

No
I see this request usually on a death notice in the newspapers.

canidmajor's avatar

I won’t donate through FB, but I might go to the website, and message the person that that’s what I’ve done. Those fundraisers never offend me, I never feel obligated or pressured, and sometimes it’s just nice to know what groups and/or charities my friends are interested in.

raum's avatar

@canidmajor I do donate to fundraisers or GFMs that my friends post. Just not the birthday ones. :)

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