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PredatorGanazX's avatar

What would you do when the love of your life loves someone else ?

Asked by PredatorGanazX (222points) September 16th, 2008

My girl is falling heads over heels to this guy whom she said she is so attracted to. TO her the guy is perfect and without flaws even when the guy that she loves is someone else’s husband.

She keep on saying all the good qualities that the guys have and what I do not have.

Comments should I stay or should I go .. we have been together for two years.

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16 Answers

wildflower's avatar

She’s openly telling you that she’s falling for someone else?? And this someone else is a married man??
Run!......this girl does not care about your feelings and she’s got a pretty messed up idea about what the perfect guy is. Be smart and get out while you can!

kevbo's avatar

My friend who is in therapy due to her boyfriend of 10 years or so having left her for another woman learned that (at least with a man) if he has an affair, he has two choices: 1) tell you, 2) don’t tell you. She learned that if he didn’t tell her, it likely would have meant that he decided to end the affair and stay with her. He did tell her though, and didn’t want to leave the new girl. They broke up. Make of that what you will.

Plus, she’s telling you in so many words that you’re not what she wants. I’ve done that before to a girlfriend (it just came out) and meant it, and eventually we broke up.

TheHaight's avatar

I wouldn’t waste my time with someone that is “head over heels” for someone else. Her honesty would make me want to walk away. And at least you know now compared to finding this out years from now. Hell no I wouldn’t stay.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Well its just that too many emotions bonding me to her let alone monetary things that she have borrowed or make use of. Its hard when our love didnt even meet half way.

I am having doubts to even PM her in YM nowdays.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’ve had a few “love of my life” affairs; they always are at the time. Move on.

trz's avatar

Even if I love her that much ill let go, she dont deserve my love and time if that is the case

cyndyh's avatar

Yep, I’d move on. It might be hard, but it’s eventually going to end so you might as well get the hurt feelings over with now.

autumn43's avatar

I agree – move on. And best that YOU be the one to do it. Sure, it will hurt, but at least you will have made the decision and in the end, you will feel better about yourself. (Trust me, I know….)

Forget about the monetary things and how hard it would be to do it. Focus on what is important – you. Emotionally it would be hard to stay too. And even though you probably don’t want to hear it – it doesn’t sound like she’s worth it.

tedibear's avatar

Autumn said exactly what I would have said! Listen to the smart bunny and take the words to heart.

tWrex's avatar

Yeah I was with a girl for 5 years, 3 of them being engaged and she started falling for this guy as well. I sure as hell didn’t get it – fully unattractive – but when I found out I said, “Are you F****ING serious? I’m out.” I ripped off the ring she’d given me, tossed it at her (although I wanted to whip it) and left… I looked back a whole lot, but I left her. 6 months later I met my, now, wife. Been married for a year now and I wouldn’t give that broad the time of day.

Furthermore, if she’s willing to break up a marriage, what makes you think she’s going to stick around with you if you two decide to get married? I know that a big reason me and my ex were together for so long was because we’d been together for so long. We both felt like if we ended it we’d look at it as wasted time, so we stayed together and hated each other. Asinine. Don’t look at it as wasted time. Look at it as learning what you DON’T want in a woman. Sit there and make a list of her flaws. Don’t list anything nice. But for your own good, just leave her. You’re not gonna do yourself any good by staying with her.

Poser's avatar

Fuck your emotions. Man up and tell her to fuck off.

tWrex's avatar


cwilbur's avatar

She’s leaving you. There’s nothing you can do about it. Get over her and move on.

And if she leaves her married paramour and decides to come back to you, say no. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up to be her doormat.

marinelife's avatar

Why would you even consider staying? Ask for your money back. She has been using you. You deserve better.

This is a very confused woman. No married man can give her what she wants. Most cheaters are serial cheaters. (Likely to cheat on her later.)

Please start ending things today. Start with: “We are in a relationship and you are telling me you are attracted to someone else. Stop. I don’t want to hear it. I do want the money you owe back. Here is a note formalizing what you owe me and arranging a payment schedule. Please sign right here.”

Separate your things from hers. Get her off your accounts or credit cards if that is an issue. Tell her to move out (somehow I am sure that you are paying.)

Please value yourself more than this.

stevenb's avatar

I have been there, and I still feel pain to this day. It is also the smartest thing I have ever done. She is a huge trainwreck now, and I’m glad I left before the crash. You aren’t meant to be and that’s that. Your REAL true love is waiting for you somewhere else. It isn’t this girl you are with now, so get away fast and clean and never look back, other than to remind yourself what to avoid next time. Learn from it, but let it go.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Many thanks Stevenb and the rest yeah in the process to ditch her out. God give me strength.

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