How do you overcome your fear of visiting the dentist?

Common, very common. So much so that most dentists are keenly aware and have ways to help you. Nothing to be embarrassed about but you do need to be honest when you speak with your dentist and let them know you have special needs. This is clearly more about anxiety and not simply being embarrassed. They will typically administer nitrous but if they are unwilling to help, you go to one that will. If you’re freaking out about the visit to the point where you can’t sleep well they have things for that as well. It will be rare that they won’t accommodate though. I think this sort of thing is even taught in dental schools. I know a couple people who would let their teeth rot away rather than go to the dentist because of that anxiety. They all go to the same dentist who is known for helping these patients.

I guarantee the dentist has seen worse. A pro isn’t in the business of teeth shaming anyone. They want you to come back and get regular care. Dental problems are an epidemic, and someone who cares about it won’t contribute to the problem with their judgement.

If they have a nasty comment about your teeth, give them one about their breath.

The way I look at this is that I really have no choice because I like having teeth.

Do you want to have teeth and avoid dentures?

If you persistently avoid professional dental care then you are pretty much guaranteed to lose most or all of your teeth by the time you’re 60 or 70.

Also a healthy mouth will help the rest of your body stay healthy.
Good health!

@gondwanalon – and before they lose them all, they’re facing decades of intense chronic pain and infections. Better to consider the Amish alternative, perhaps, and just get them all yanked, and you won’t have to worry about them anymore. Just stock up on PolyDent!

The trick is to find a very gentle dentist. They do exist. Most of the dentists I’ve been to lately are quite gentle and don’t cause unnecessary pain. Ask around among your friends and get a recommendation.

I agree with @Smashley If your problem is your dentist shames you than find another dentist. One that wants to encourage you to return. I’ve been to jerk dentist and have moved on.

I found really nice dental workers, and I realize that it’s worse, the longer you put it off, with potentially very serious consequences. And, meditation techniques.

For me, getting my teeth cleaned doesn’t and shouldn’t really hurt. If there is any pain, I make sure to tel lthe dentist so he or she can be more careful and gentle. Also, if there’s pain, it may be a sign that there’s an infection or something else wrong.

Unfortunately dentistry is full of incompetence and corruption.

This is what my last dentist told me after telling her of a nightmare experience with a dentist in my new town.

Before I left my last town I had her look me over carefully and explained that I wouldn’t be seeing a dentist for maybe a year and a half. She did a great job.

The new dentist told me that I would need over $3500 in dental work! My old dentist told me there’s no way she left my mouth in that kind of condition.

I have since found an honest and competent dentist who has served me well. So far, after three years I have spent maybe $500.

How To Find an Honest Dentist:
https://www.secondopiniondentaladvice.com/adviceposts/how-to-find-a-honest-dentist

“Here’s the sad bottom line: People love money. Many people love money more than anything else.

Dentists happen to make money off of your mouth. So what have we found that MANY dentists do? Sadly, they charm you, and then they LIE to you…

They tell you that you have cavities that aren’t actually there. They tell you that you need to get a “deep cleaning” when over half of you don’t.

They show you “cracks” in your teeth with their super magnified intra-oral cameras, cracks that are just lines that your teeth naturally have. Just picture how you feel when you look at your face in a magnifying mirror…it’s the same situation when things are magnified in your mouth…

After they scare the daylights out of you, they make you sign your life away to some long treatment plan, which you can’t understand a word of, before they will clean your teeth.”

^^ That’s pretty much what that first dentist in my new town tried to do to me.

First and foremost by means of humor i.e. jokes.

I know that “You only die twice”, so given the fact that I have died twice already, I know that I can’t die any more, so I don’t have to fear the dentist, my boss, my scary neighbor, or my yet more scary wife. I don’t even fear those night monsters that used to get out from under my bed while I was young – meaning at least 2 years younger than I am now. But one day it occurred to me that my bed has 4 legs, and I decided to reduce their number to Zero, just to see what would happen that night. The rest is your imagination, which will perfectly be OK if you guess that nothing happened, because the monsters could not get out from under my bed, since it was “glued” to the floor.

In short, I’m free of all fears, and that’s why I can visit a dentist any time I want. Which is once or twice in 10 years, because those fucking dentists can be scary every time they activate that buzzing torture instrument which I can’t even listen to, let alone stay calm when it enters my mouth by means of the dentist’s hands, of course, since something has to pull my tightly pressed jaws away from each other and make my mouth at least half open. See, that’s the moment when I lose all my fears, for the simple reason that a brave man like me who has just fainted can’t possibly fear anything anymore. At least for as long as they are absent from this painful reality.

So, that was the first reason why i never hesitate to see a dentist. Humor. Jokes. Blessed unconsciousness.

The second reason is my wife. How can you not listen to a female persona, twice stronger than you, who very politely wants you to see a dentist?

And the third and last reason is those anesthetic sprays. Not syringes, mind you, I can’t afford fo lose my conscience several times during a single visit to a dentist. So, no syringes and basta! That’s me. I can be harsh sometimes, but you know what, you have to be harsh when your life is on stake! So, no syringes, just spray. I open my mouth, the dentist enpties one – in rare cases two or three – bottle(s), then I hear a loud bang coming from behind, the dentist asks me if I had felt the contact between his right shoe and my head, I say ‘No’, and then he starts to work inside my mouth. Well, not all of him, of course, most of him remains outside my mouth, only his hand(s) and that horrific Nazi machine start to inspect and correct some of my teeth.

And when all is over, my Frankenwife comes, and the dentist wakes me up before we go go…

Ask if the dental hygienist would put numbing gel on your gums before cleaning them. They do that for me every time because mine are really sensitive. It doesn’t completely numb them, but it does help.

For anxiety, ask if they have a weighted blanket. My office does, and it’s a comforting feeling to have it spread out on you. If they don’t have one, ask if they would lay the x-ray cover over your chest. It works almost as good.

I also take a valium before going to the dentist. As a child, I didn’t get any numbing treatment when they filled my cavities. I had a heart murmur and they didn’t know what novocaine might do back then so they didn’t give me any. He was a very kind dentist, but couldn’t help but hurt me. Nowadays, I know that I’m safe and no one intends to hurt me, but I still stiffen up in the chair with most of my muscles tensed. Good luck and good for you for taking care of them. I promise it’ll get easier if you go on a regular basis because they won’t have to do as much if you go every 6 months.

First know that you are not alone. A lot of people dread going to the dentist.

What type of comments are dentists telling you that make you uncomfortable? Are they about how you care for your teeth? Don’t be embarrassed, they see much worse I’m sure, and learning to care for your teeth is actually something a lot of people are not taught well by their parents.

Do you have something going on in your mouth that you feel is unusual? Possibly, an infection affecting your breath or color of your tongue?

You say you are not worried about the pain, but if that is at all part of your fear, I recommend a dentist who uses an air tool for removing plaque rather than a metal scaler for the entire cleaning process.

The longer you wait the worse it gets. People who go to the dentist regularly for cleaning usually have uneventful easy cleanings. If you wait more than a year there will be more plaque and tartar and more comments from the dentist about caring for your teeth.

If you don’t like how your dentist talks to you, maybe try a new one.

Also, in America, too many dentists are running a racket telling almost every patient they need a crown or a gum treatment, especially patients over age 45. Always get a second opinion. Don’t go to companies like Aspen Dental.

Lastly, use a large-ish toothbrush that addresses the gum line with SOFT bristles. I like Oral B Crossaction. Here’s a link with photos. You can buy a single or double pack in the drug store or supermarket if you want to try it. https://www.amazon.com/Oral-B-Health-Soft-Toothbrushes-Count/dp/B01KZ6V00W/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?adgrpid=56307196736&gclid=Cj0KCQiAtbqdBhDvARIsAGYnXBMAovenIqpDlOpcCWx5AEgqs7_3xFUAzdwx4UaoP1nGRKa5aHUH1tkaAjyREALw_wcB&hvadid=580747705918&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9052975&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=11500158298339490175&hvtargid=kwd-295542130042&hydadcr=106_1014981387&keywords=oral-b+crossaction&qid=1672401717&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyQTlaNU9LRExDNlVUJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzk4MTYzMjVDMENDOTNKTDM5MyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTcyNjkzUjgxVTNGU1NQWTk0JndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Other hints: Brush teeth at an angle so you don’t irritate the gum line. Floss to keep in-between teeth clean. If flossing is difficult try Glide dental floss, there is a drastic difference between cheap floss and Glide. Use mouthwash if you are lazy about brushing and/or flossing.

@JLeslie I’m going to buy those toothbrushes even though I get a free toothbrush and sample-sized toothpaste with every cleaning. I saw some charcoal toothbrushes on that page, also. Do you have any experience with them or know anything about them?

@smudges Make sure you get soft bristles. No one should be using medium or hard bristles.

Let me know if you like the toothbrush. I gave one to my MIL when she was visiting and it was so vastly different from her toothbrush. She could tell right away the difference.

I don’t know anything about the charcoal you mentioned.

@smudges: I saw charcoal toothpaste and charcoal toothbrushes at Costco. I googled them because I had never heard of them before. I learned that charcoal is something you should be careful using on your teeth, because it’s abrasive. I noticed that the toothhbrushes and the toothpaste were on clearance shortly after. I didn’t buy them, because I felt like even at a discounted price, if they weren’t good for my teeth, I didn’t want to chance it. I’m not sure how charcoal works as far as toothbrushes being made from it, too.

@JLeslie Yes, I always use the soft. Will let you know.

@jca2 Thanks! I think I’ll give my dentist a call and see what he says. I was thinking about the toothbrush because for paste I have to use Sensodyne. I’ll let you know.

@smudges I assume you know don’t use any whitening toothpastes or whitening mouthwash. Probably, you can use regular toothpaste and save a bunch of money. It’s difficult to find toothpaste that doesn’t have whitening ingredients these days.

Edit: although the fluoride in Sensodyne is better for sensitivity in studies, I’m not saying it’s a sham.

Just remember that they’re not going to do anything you don’t want them to do. Just say no. Obviously if the work needs doing then your better getting it done for the sake of the long run.

I take laughing gas. I realized, since I am so nervous at the dentist, it causes me to feel more pain. Then, I end up putting off going. With laughing gas I feel nothing. I don’t like drugs, but this helps me a lot. I feel relaxed, and like I don’t care about anything.

Welcome @Alliemoonray71 !!