Is there a hotline for children in distress in your country? If so, how do they work? (details inside)

It seems to depend on the situation. If there’s any evidence at all that a child is in danger sometimes the kid is just directly removed from the home.

But a few years ago we lived next-door to some people who had a vicious dog. The fence between our properties was in terrible condition and the dog was constantly trying to tear it down to get at me if I was in my own backyard. The dog was very large and a boy about 14 or so was assigned to walk the dog around the neighborhood.

One day when they returned from their walk I had just got out of my car and was walking to my front door. The dog ripped the leash from the boy’s hand and cornered me on my own property.

It snarled and growled at me while I stood there frozen. I am convinced that if I had even moved one step the dog would have ripped me apart. Finally the kid showed up and led his dog back home.

A day later I went over and knocked on the door to speak to the owners of the house. The woman who opened the door said it wasn’t possible that her dog would act like that toward me.

I called the local sheriff who directed me to animal control. So I called animal control and told them what happened. They said that unless the dog actually bit me there was nothing they could do, but they did offer to go over and speak to the owners of the dog.

That wasn’t very comforting.

Each state in the US has its own version of Child Protective Services. People call them to report it when they believe a person is abusing a child. CPS decides the level of risk the child is in and investigates. They sometimes go to the home and actually remove the child to protect them from dangerous adults.

I did this for a living for over ten years. Calls come through a state 800 number, in the state I worked in, it was call the “central registry.” They farmed the calls out to the cities’ social services Child Protective Services that handled the area the child lived in.

People believed we loved to take children from their parents, but I used to tell people it was actually easier to leave them in the home. It’s a lot of work, involving court cases to remove a child from the home. Yes, if there’s immediate danger, you can remove the child immediately but you still have to go to court and prove your point, and ultimately it’s up to the judge. If the judge says no, the child is not in danger, the child goes back to the family but then the social services department is covered because it would be documented that the judge decided against the Department, and made the decision to put the child back in the home.

CPS can and does also mandate services such as therapy, parenting classes, domestic violence therapy, following up to make sure the suggestions are followed, and if parents are resistant, the case could be brought to Family Court and then the judge would mandate it.

Thank you for answering. Do children call in those hotline or is it mostly used by adults? The hotline in my country seems to be for children to talk about their problem, so I just wonder if there is anything like that in other countries.

Bonus question: what should I do now, now that she refuses to call the number?

In the US each state has a hotline or phone number.

Also, in the US if a child tells their teacher or doctor that they are abused, the teacher or doctor is mandated to report it to the proper authorities. A child could call the police too, if they didn’t know what to do.

The thing is children don’t always know what is available to them, or they might be reluctant. Plus, so many stories of it not working out well. Maybe it usually does make things better for the child, but we all hear stories of nothing getting better or even worse, and so the child might think it’s better not to say anything.

Also, the US has a national suicide hotline, any age can call it.

Will she be moving on to college next year? She’s 17 already, she’s almost at the end of dealing and living with her parents unless it’s expected she stay at home beyond graduating. Would protective services be likely to remove her from the home?

It’s awful to be in a situation with an alcoholic parent. Do you have the equivalent of Alanon or Alateen there? That’s support groups that meet for people who live or lived with alcoholics. If she knows English she could possibly zoom with an American group, if US zoom is available in your country. There’s also a teen chat https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/

@JLeslie Will she be moving on to college next year?

In my country people don’t necessarily move away once they hit 18. There are people who do move away and live in dorms or apartments, but mostly they are from a different place from the city of their college. People don’t generally move out unless there is no choice because it’s hard to find an accommodation and job at that age.

Also my friend is dead set that once she hits 18, she will marry her boyfriend, move to his house and find a job without going to college. That isn’t an outcome I would like to see because I know who the boyfriend is, and his family is also pretty dysfunctional.

I’m not familiar with Alanon or Alateen, but from what I read in your link it’s like a support group for children with alcoholic parents? Would it suit my friend since the father is abusive even when he is sober? Her English is ok, she can communicate fine in writing but I’m not sure if she can speak in English.

@Mimishu1995 Alcoholics are alcoholics 24/7. They can be even worse when they’re not getting their drink, withdrawal is no fun, depending on the person, so sober times during the day can be miserable for the alcoholic and everyone around them. The father probably needs some psychological help, but I’m assuming he wouldn’t be apt to getting help.

That happens in the US too, young people move in with their SO or get married to get out of their parents’ home. It’s unfortunate, but understandable.

@JLeslie I’m not sure how often the father drinks, but he really likes to get around with people in his neighborhood and get noisy. And he would drink until he is drunk. I sometimes go to my friend’s house and he always seems really sober on the outside. Either he doesn’t drink that much or he’s really good at covering his withdrawal. And yeah, he sometimes tells me to “talk some sense” to his daughter when I’m alone with him.

In the UK we have an excellent Childline and it is a simple free toll number 08001111.

A child can call Childline 24/7 if they are in danger for their health, being abused or for any reason they feel they need help with.

It is not confined to children only, adults can call the number i they feel there is a child in trouble, for example they suspect a mother or father is abusing one or more of their children.

If a child has run away from home because of abuse etc, then Childline will help then,

Any contact with Childline can remain confidential should the caller wish it.

Also, I forgot to add that certain professionals are mandated to report if they suspect or are told of abuse, or if they witness it. Doctors, dentists, nurses, therapists, psychologists, social workers, school teachers, school counselors, police are some examples. If they hear of anything and they don’t report it, they can lose their jobs.