General Question

RayaHope's avatar

Do you ever let little things go because you don't want to make a scene?

Asked by RayaHope (7308points) 1 month ago

Someone will cut in front of me in line and I’ll let them, the lunch lady will forget to put a piece of bread on my tray and I won’t say anything. A cashier will shortchange me a dollar or two and I don’t say anything either. I know I’m getting taken advantage of but I don’t feel right saying anything about it. :(

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17 Answers

chyna's avatar

Depends on the situation. I remember one time I was in line at the pharmacy and an elderly man got in front of me. I didn’t say anything, but when it was his turn, the pharmacist looked around him and at me and said “I believe you are next”. He was mad! He said I was next and she said “I saw you get in front of her, she is next.” I love when justice prevails.
But, generally, when it comes to money, I will say something, either way. Whether it is in my favor, or the store’s favor.

RayaHope's avatar

I don’t know why I’m so timid in these situations but I feel I don’t want to cause any waves and throw unwanted attention upon myself.

Jonsblond's avatar

It all depends on the energy I have at the time.

KRD's avatar

I do a lot in public. It is hard for me because I have anger issues but I manage to deal with it. You should get on to people if you have the reason to like if they cut you in line, get on to them for that. However, if someone is wanting to fight you and they are ticking you off where you tell them to stop, they will try telling you to hit them but don’t do it because it is a trap and they will use it as an okay to start fighting you and you have first swing so you get in trouble for assault. You got to know how to pick fights and If it is worth it. If someone forgets to give you something like the launch lady tell her she forgot to give you something. you just got to make sure the rewards out way the consequences.

Entropy's avatar

Oh DEFINITELY. I’m very confrontation-averse. I will just avoid people instead. And I have a long memory.

I WILL, on the other hand do little petty shit as revenge for little petty shit other people do. If I see someone parked well over the line in an adjoining space….I park millimeters from their driver side door. I’m still not in their space!

smudges's avatar

@Entropy LOL Payback’s a bitch, huh? But with my luck, they’d simply slam the edge of their door into the side of my door; doesn’t damage their car but does mine.

smudges's avatar

If it’s about money I will usually say something. But it really depends on my mood. If I’m already in an iffy mood, I’m more likely to challenge people. If I’m in one of those moods where I just want to go unnoticed and get home, I won’t.

seawulf575's avatar

Looking at your examples, you might have a problem not with letting things go to avoid a scene, but rather with addressing people in positions of authority. You said you addressed someone cutting in line ahead of you. That person is not in a position of authority and addressing them might create a scene. The lunch lady forgets to put a piece of bread on your plate you say nothing. She is more in a position of authority. Asking her for a piece would likely not cause a scene. Likewise the cashier short changing you and you let it go. She is in a position of authority and you say nothing. Yet looking at your change and identifying that she shorted you wouldn’t likely cause a scene either.

Even if the lunch lady and the cashier made honest mistakes (which is what likely happened), speaking up is not accusing them of doing wrong on purpose, it is just getting what is due to you…correcting an error. Not a scene unless that person then creates one because they (a) don’t care at all or (b) were actually trying to screw you over. Either of those issues need to be addressed anyway and would likely require that scene to then be escalated up the line to their supervisor (on the spot) to avoid this sort of behavior from impacted everyone else potentially.

Acrylic's avatar

Usually, but I would have asked for the bread. Just getting too old to worry about small stuff.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes, I let little things go all of the time, but the situations you mentioned I usually say something and it’s not making a scene. If someone cuts in front I usually say to them I’ve been waiting, but not necessarily 100% of the time. Often I offer to let someone go ahead if they are in a rush or just two items at a checkout, etc. If someone forgot to serve me bread and I want the bread I’d say something. Also, the change thing I’d say something.

Probably no one in the situations you described wanted to cut in front of you, forget your bread, or short change you. Saying something gives them a chance to make it right. You have to say it when it’s happening, you can’t go back much later and complain.

@Entropy And risk them dinging your car when they try to get in? Doesn’t sound like a good idea.

NoMore's avatar

Money no. Most other petty little things yes. Depends on the situation. About a year ago I walked into a convenience store and a good ol’ boy type was giving the clerk a hard time. Yelling abusive racial slurs and generally being an ass wipe to this little Pakistani guy. I told the guy that if he had a problem with the man get the hell out and go where else. Guy gave me a dirty look but didn’t challenge me. Now any time I go in that store the dude always gives me a free coffee. I always try to pay him but he won’t take my money.

RayaHope's avatar

@NoMore You are a good guy! Where do you keep your white horse and shining armor? :)

NoMore's avatar

Lol I’m more of an anus cavity but maybe I get an “E” for effort? @RayaHope

Forever_Free's avatar

There is nothing wrong with speaking up of commenting on something that is wrong. You will earn respect when done in a respectable manner. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you even if it done by mistake.

Zissou's avatar

^I think the word we want here is respectful, rather than respectable, but yeah, chances are that the lunch lady or the cashier would fix the problem with no fuss if you point it out to them in a non-confrontational way. It was probably an inadvertent mistake. There is no reason to ignore it, but there is no need to make a scene either. Learn how to handle this tactfully. Empathy helps, which might come easier if you ever have to work at a job like that yourself.

The cutting in line situation is a harder call.

raum's avatar

Really depends on the energy I have, the mood I’m in and if i gauge whether or not saying something will be productive.

LifeQuestioner's avatar

@Jonsblond that’s me to a “t”! Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to follow through on the iissue. It can also depend on my mood. If I’ve had one thing after another go wrong that day, there’s a good chance that at some point, the next event will push me over the edge. Conversely, if I’m having a really good day, I may shrug it off.

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