General Question

jessehattabaugh's avatar

What would you think if your gf posted a fluther about meeting new male friends after you told her you plan to hang out with a female friend?

Asked by jessehattabaugh (492points) September 22nd, 2008

Is it just me or is that kinda catty?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

osullivanbr's avatar

That does seem like she’d be playing a game with you. Is there a story to go with this question?

shilolo's avatar

Can’t you all just hang out together…? Sounds like fun.

basp's avatar

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Did you expect her to sit home and wait for you while you are out with another female!??!

PupnTaco's avatar

I would discuss it with her personally and not air my dirty laundry in public.

jballou's avatar

Sounds like someone likes to play games.

Celeste00's avatar

Maybe I’d wonder why I’m thinking the two are at all related…

jessehattabaugh's avatar

@Celeste00 Oh snap!

marinelife's avatar

Right, you folks need to take this off the Web and into the house.

Since you asked, however, there is nothing wrong with either party having friends of the opposite sex. It is even reasonable in many relationships where there is trust and plenty of experience of each other that those outings would not always include the other. Spouse and I have both gone out after work with a group of fellow employees solo.

One-on-one regular outings with someone or more than one someone of the opposite sex does not seem feasible.

If the friendship predates the relationship and that was the practice, what usually happens is the new girlfriend or guy friend meets the friend and gets comfortable with them and they go on or the new girlfriend or guy friend gets bad vibes, and they stop, or the couple’s new relationship founders on this rock and ends.

jballou's avatar

I’m adding both you and your GF to my fluther, cause this has potential for hilarity to ensue.

Celeste00's avatar

@Marina we both know that, I’m pretty sure jessehattabaugh was just bored.

“One-on-one regular outings with someone or more than one someone of the opposite sex does not seem feasible.”

Except for that, that seems like an absolute statement I don’t agree with.

jessehattabaugh's avatar

Thanks all, and just to clarify I’m not butt-hurt about it or anything. I just thought it’d be interesting to ask the crowd about a relationship issue, and chose a benign one to experiment on. My suspicions are confirmed, Fluther is a great way to cause drama!

marinelife's avatar

@Jesse and Celeste Welcome to the collective, both of you. I love wit and people who have a sense of humor, but . . .fake relationship questions are no way to win friends and influence people. Have you seen the Fluther Guidelines?

syz's avatar

Oh, God forbid. Not another drama queen.

jballou's avatar

It just occured to me that I never answered the original question-

In the words of Chris Rock- I would never hit a woman but I would shake the sh** outta her

jessehattabaugh's avatar

@Marina it wasn’t fake

Judi's avatar

I would think that she is trying to send you a message.

Celeste00's avatar

haha, @jballou I like you.

asmonet's avatar

I agree with Judi, but posting your own Fluther in response instead of approaching her seems equally as tacky.

jessehattabaugh's avatar

@asmonet you think so?

asmonet's avatar

@Jesse: Every relationship, no matter the definition requires one person to stand up and fight for the other, be it in a big way or a small way. This happens to be a small one, instead of asking us on Fluther to justify your emotions, why not tell her how you perceived it and work towards a solution? Go to her, your girl, not us, the Flutherers at large.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

using Fluther as a way to express this means you should actually be talking to her about it instead of asking the collective.

asmonet's avatar

@Ninja: Exactly.

jessehattabaugh's avatar

I don’t think this needs to be made any clearer, but apparently my sarcasm’s a little too dry for some; this question was posted with my tongue in my cheek. I knew she’d see it because she discovered this site today. It was this geek’s way of teasing his geek girlfriend, while also seeing if I could make something bounce off the community here. It seems I have failed at both. Good day!

ninjaxmarc's avatar

don’t bite your tongue as you retract your tongue back.

asmonet's avatar

Ah, well. That’s not really something we can all assume, given that we’re not familiar with your relationship. Silly me, I thought you were looking for advice. :-p

Hehe, good luck with your girlfriend. :)

Celeste00's avatar

Sense of humor is hard to get through online with non extremely geek strangers.

asmonet's avatar

Heh, if only you knew how geek I really am.

evidence: i own this

Celeste00's avatar

@asmonet I don’t, but I’m curious as to your credentials. ;)

girlofscience's avatar

I really like how the OP used the phrase “posted a fluther”! Interesting!

wundayatta's avatar

Art thou geeker than I?

To geek. The art of busting people with subtle sarcasm that, while rather mundane, is presented as being way above the heads of the hoi polloi.

Hi Hoi. I’m Polloi. Are you Polloi, too?

Celeste00's avatar

@daloon I really, really like you.

jca's avatar

what i was going to answer to this question, before i read the threads and saw that you asked it tongue in cheek, was i was going to say that there are three sides to every story, the two sides and the truth. so therefore, it would be hard to judge when i’m only hearing one side. if i hear something that sounds preposterous i think that there must be some other side to this story that i’m missing. anyway, now i know joke’s on us and it was just to show her. hahahaha on us.

nissa2008's avatar

i think the two of you need to ask yourselves and each other where your relationship is going..if you both are seeking out new people, maybe something needs to be worked on in your lives. hope things go well for you.

Jack79's avatar

depends on whether it was a case of you cheating (or at least remotely thinking of the possibility) and her getting revenge, or a case of you simply hanging out with a friend that happened to be female and her just being childish, especially if she was not a fluther user and you were.

is it even possible to post such questions here?

Just for the sake of the actual argument, I had this female friend that I’ve known since we were children. There was never anything sexual between us, and we often went to watch a movie, just the two of us. This happened at times when I was alone, in a relationship, and even when I was married. None of my girlfriends or even my wife ever cared, because we’d just watch the movie and go home soon after, and she never posed a threat to any of my relationships. But it would have been different if this was either an ex-gf or a new woman in my life.

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