General Question

bkburbo's avatar

What's a neighborly, non-passive aggressive but effective way of asking your neighbors to stop making noise past midnight?

Asked by bkburbo (251points) September 23rd, 2008

In an apartment building: they clearly don’t need to wake up early in the morning, but when you do, what do you do (besides find a quieter building, earplugs, etc…) so they get the message?

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30 Answers

psyla's avatar

Smacking the ceiling with a broomstick does not work well. An anonymous report to the management, once every 2 weeks, sometimes works. They must be really blasting it as most APTs nowadays have good soundproofing. You could leave a few pair of headphones outside their door.

Fieryspoon's avatar

This aggressiveness isn’t so passive:

You know how gets sometimes…

cheebdragon's avatar

Knock on their door and say “Shut the fuck up!......thank you, goodnight!”

iwamoto's avatar

i’d just ring the door, explain, and try to come to an agreement, and if that doesn’t work THEN file the reports

bluemukaki's avatar

Vodka and a Shotgun.

JackAdams's avatar

What I did, was I called the cops, requested anonymity, and went back to sleep.

After a few visits from the police to the apartment, the after-midnight parties ended, especially when drugs were found during one “visit.”

Folks who party that loudly after midnight, are usually doing something illegal, or they are doing it WITH someone who is “illegal.”

Snoopy's avatar

You probably don’t know these people. And you may not even want to know them. I have lived in multiple (double digits) apartments over the years.

The nicest thing would be a knock on the door at some point during the day when they aren’t blasting music in the middle of the night….and have a polite conversation. I did this once. The guy, chagrined, said he had no idea it was that loud (!?!?) and it wasn’t a problem again.

I have tried the passive aggressive bit as well. Loud music when I am getting up in the AM several days in a row. Amazingly that worked as well.

When I was certain a guy was beating the crap out of his kid routinely…..911. Worked too.

Today, however, my suggestion would be daily calls to management everyday it is a problem. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

let the police handle it, that’s what are tax dollars are used for, to keep the peace.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I’d say have a polite chat with them and if that doesn’t work either go passive aggressive with your alarm clock/morning radio or call the police. But not both. And realize they are getting the same advice about their neighbor who is so loud in the morning if you do the passive aggressive thing. I’m not sure the police care about “They’re so loud at night, it’s my revenge!”

JackAdams's avatar

Assassination is always an option

marinelife's avatar

Most apartment complexes have rules about noise after a certain hour (usually 11 PM). I agree with those who have said work through the management. That is their job. You have to live there. You should not have to become a focus of these people’s misplaced wrath.

JackAdams's avatar

Respectfully, I don’t “have” to live anywhere.

I can move whenever I wish, to anywhere I wish, except The White House.

Judi's avatar

As an apartment owner, I would want to know so I could deal with it. I would hate to loose several good residents over one who is bothering the others.

hammer43's avatar

before I bought my house I had that problem and went to the landlord and they took care of it. Others I know called the police and they usually take care of it as well, about twenty years ago I had that problem and when they went to sleep that was wen I blasted my music so no one got sleep until I was done they were pissed but they got the message.

bkburbo's avatar

It’s not so much loud music as it is just stomping around loudly above me, amounting to what sounds like they are moving into the apartment, every night around 12:30pm.

scamp's avatar

I use the broomstick method with my upstairs condo neighbors, and it works very well. One night they were very noisy, so I tapped on the ceiling to let them know it bothered me. The next day, I saw one of them in the parking lot. I explained to her that I didn’t mean to be nasty with the tapping, but it was too cold to come out and knock on her door to ask her to be quiet.

She apologized for being noisy, and said it wouldn’t happen again. (They had a puppy and they were throwing a ball for it. The trouncing back and forth is what made the noise.) I told her what hours we keep, and that I enjoy hearing the puppy running most of the time because I could imagine how cute it looked playing. I made an agreement with her right then and there that she could play with it all she wanted, and when i was going to go to bed, or if the noise was too much, I’d give a ‘friendly” tap on the ceiling to let her know.

I have only had to tap once since that time. They even installed hardwood flooring, and they don’t bother me because we had that talk. Snoopy had a great idea. go up there during the day, when they aren’t making noise, and you aren’t upset. Tell them that sound carries more than they may think and it is keeping you awake/disturbing you/etc. Ask them if you can make the same arrangement I did with my neighbbor if they seem nice. That way, they won’t feel like they have to pussyfoot around, and you know you can give a tap when it bothers you without being thought of as too bitchy.

If they aren’t agreeable, go to management and file a complaint. Good luck!!

jballou's avatar

@bkburbo If it’s not loud music, they probably have no idea the noise they are making. Just let them know. Most people would do whatever they can to minimize the noise.

But also be aware that maybe the construction of your apartment building is such that it’s not their fault. They could simply be walking around going about normal everyday things, and the acoustics are just such that you can hear it.

Judi's avatar

Isn’t it funny how some people walk heavier than others? And for some reason a 25 pound kid can walk heavier than a 200 lb man!

psyla's avatar

I once lived in an apartment under Bigfoot. Sightings of Bigfoot were rare. The ceiling in my apartment shook in a manner similar to an earthquake every time Bigfoot walked across the room overhead. Bigfoot also had some sort of automatic rocking chair/cradle device for young baby bigfoots that would drone on with rhythmic banging sounds for hours while I was studying for college. This is when I tried the broomstick to the ceiling to no avail. I finally sighted Bigfoot as I was moving out of the apartment – an elderly woman! I agree with jackadams – call the cops – but I didn’t mention it in my previous post because it seemed harsh, but it’s a better approach than assassination. It’s funny how some people choose to walk like elephants where others walk like cats. I strive to always walk like a cat. Cats are the epitome of form, function, & movement. Walking like a cat is far more stealthy than choosing to walk like an elephant.

scamp's avatar

Did you ever try talking to this woman? If she was elderly, maybe she was hard of hearing and didn’t hear the broom. There are steps you can take before calling the cops. That should be the last resort.

Likeradar's avatar

I’m surprised at how many people suggest calling the cops/apartment manager before actually talking to these people or leaving a friendly note if your schedules are different. There’s a chance these people don’t know they’re disturbing you or think you don’t mind the noise since you haven’t yet mentioned it. If they don’t respond appropriately to your neighborly, non-passive aggressive approach, then there are other ways of dealing that involve police and apartment managers.

Wouldn’t the world be a nicer place if neighbors actually talked to each other?

Snoopy's avatar

@likeradar I think it defintely depends on your sense of the neighbor and your neighborhood. I have lived in places (as suggested above) where this was reasonable. Living next to people you suspect of being a part of a biker gang or where the “noise” involves them beating their kid merits a bypass of neighborly intervention and going straight to the cops.

Being neighborly should be the first choice, but it is situation dependent…

Likeradar's avatar

Yes, of course if there’s noise that clearly sounds like something horrific is going on, or if you have previous knowledge of these people that makes it seem like talking to them could put you in harm’s way then speaking to them directly isn’t the best choice. But from the original question it seemed like it was just basic noise from people the OP didn’t really know. If the question had been “my neighbors beat their kid every night…” my answer would have been very different!

(and even people in biker gangs may be capable of being good neighbors)

Snoopy's avatar

You are correct of course. “Biker gangs” was a poor choice…a stereotype. I have watched too many episodes of Sons of Anarchy, lately, I guess. LOL. But you got my point, anyway :)

hammer43's avatar

@likeradar, for me the last place I lived before I bought my house I lived there for eight years and no one has ever been this loud so I deemed it as being on purpose and plus they would never speak to me even when I would say hi, so yes when they would wake me up from my sleep the last thing I would want to do is talk to them, the right words wouldn’t come out when I’m pissed and tired.

hammer43's avatar

plus I think it is professional to talk to the manager no chance of having a confrontation. Now the police that may be too much at first but everyone has that right.

Nimis's avatar

Biker gangs…heehee…

cheebdragon's avatar

biker gangs that don’t beat their kids are awesome!

Snoopy's avatar

QUIET biker gangs that don’t beat their kids are the best!

snowberry's avatar

My last neighbors were LOUD only once. So when they woke me up at 2:30 AM I went over in my bathrobe and slippers. I rang and rang, knocked and knocked. Finally someone opened the door. I knew they were up, because I could see them moving. When the kid opened the door, he immediately knew why I was there and was SO apologetic. He said he was surprised I didn’t call the cops. But it didn’t happen again.

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