General Question

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

What are some good questions to ask when trying to get to know someone?

Asked by MrMeltedCrayon (2799points) September 25th, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

PIXEL's avatar

What’s your favorite color.

trudacia's avatar

Who are you voting for?

jrpowell's avatar

I usually try to ask about hobbies. Hope we have something in common and go from there.

edit :: I really hate work/job talk and avoid it all cost.

Emilyy's avatar

Where did you grow up?
What were you like in high school?
What’s your relationship with your parents like? (be VERY careful with this one)
What do you want to be when you grow up? (never too late to ask)
What’s the worst job you ever had?
What was the last CD you bought/What’s on your iPod right now?

I find that asking about hobbies can get awkward, because let’s face it, some people don’t have them. That old question, “What do you do for fun?” is kind of…I just can’t think of another word besides awkward. But I do think that bringing up things that you can visually see is good. Like, maybe they have a certain bumper sticker or shirt for a certain band, you might ask if they had ever seen them in concert. If they have a tattoo, you might ask the significance of it. Stuff like that.

@johnpowell: Yeah, I totally agree! I’ve heard that some Europeans consider it somewhat rude to ask “What do you do?” right off the bat…Which makes sense. I think a lot of people ask that question first, but does it really say anything about you? Not necessarily. Unless maybe, you’re a vet and animals are your life or something. But I’d rather be asked anything than “What do you do?” Maybe I’d feel differently if I were more passionate about my job.

Mtl_zack's avatar

what’s your name. seriously, sometimes when i meet people in classes or through a friend, i find out their name the 5th time i meet them.

cyndyh's avatar

@EmilyNathon: It can get awkward to ask about hobbies if someone doesn’t have them, but wouldn’t you want to know that? If someone has no hobbies or interests then there’s probably not much to talk about with them.

As far as “What do you do?” goes, it can say a lot about you depending on how you answer that -not necessarily just which job you currently have. Because whether you like it or whether you’d love to be doing something else or whether you have some other goals or ambitions in life will usually flow from that question. You’ve said a bit about yourself above regarding that question and no one even had to ask you. If asked you can always say what you do and what you’d rather be doing and talk about what you really are passionate about. It’s still a conversation starter.

windex's avatar

How do you feel about threesomes?

Emilyy's avatar

@Cyndyh: That’s true. I guess I would want to know if their interests didn’t match up with mine (or God forbid they didn’t have any interests!), but I might try to get that stuff out of them more organically than just outright asking it. I might say that I had riden my bike to work that day and asked if they like to bike or do other outdoorsy things. Or I might mention a band I’m really into and ask if they had gone to any fun concerts this summer. I don’t know why, but that damn “What do you do for fun?” question just scares me. It’s intimidating.

cyndyh's avatar

Kind of too all inclusive and overwhelming? I could see that being the case. And if you ask things like you’ve described you’ll get more specific answers instead of with the open-ended questions.

marinelife's avatar

Start off slowly. Say, you meet them at a party. You might ask how they know the host.

Say you meet them at work. Ask about something on their desk or about something particular to their department or job. Example: “Once a job leaves prep, I don’t get to see what happens to it. What exactly do your guys do over here?”

Perhaps you meet them at a bar. (Not the best.) “Ask if they like the musical act or what, if anything, they like about that particular bar.

Once they respond, listen closely, and try to build from what they said.

Allie's avatar

What’s your favorite thing to do when the weather is nice?
Do you like pineapple?
Where would you love to travel to?
Where have you traveled to that you loved?
What do you keep in your frizzer?
What is your biggest fear?


cyndyh's avatar

Lurve for working “frizzer” into the discussion. :^>

Allie's avatar

Thank you, thank you.

SeventhSense's avatar

So when do you get out of prison?

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