General Question

tinyfaery's avatar

My anniversary is coming up and I am not at all sentimental?

Asked by tinyfaery (42590points) September 26th, 2008

Okay, maybe a little sentimental.

The wife and I usually just go out to dinner for our anniversary. We usually don’t do gifts, and I think cards are dumb and a waste of paper. However, she has had a tough year, and I want to either do something special for her, or get her something special to let her know how much I appreciate and love her. Problem is I am horrible at this stuff, which is probably why we don’t really do celebrations.

So, any suggestions? I know you don’t know us, but what would make you happy if your non-sentimental wife finally went out and did/got something nice for you?

Okay, McBean this is another guy thing.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

jrpowell's avatar


edit :: and something personal.

SpatzieLover's avatar

How many years have you been together? And what’s her thing? (jewels/relaxing/gardening/clothes/tv/travel)???

wildflower's avatar

I’m with JP: Spa – or any other luxurious ‘treat’. It’ll make her feel relaxed, pampered and cared for (it’s kinda what I’m hinting to my SO for my b-day…)

[edit]: One other option: overnight stay in a nice hotel. Don’t tell her where or what, but let her know you’re taking her away and some advice on what to pack (relaxed clothing and something nice to wear for a fancy dinner in the restaurant, etc.)

nocountry2's avatar

Go husband!! How rad are you for wanting this for your wife. I totlly second the day spa, if she’s into that.

tinyfaery's avatar

7 years. She doesn’t have a thing, that’s the problem. Her things are work, school, me, and the cats. She’s difficult.

Oh, and I am not her husband.

jrpowell's avatar

@nocountry2 :: female x2

nocountry2's avatar

Oh duh – Go Spouse!!!

willbrawn's avatar

Ask her to marry you. Thats pretty special in my book. Also it does show that you love her.

SoapChef's avatar

A massage, either in the form of a gift certificate or by you. Either works! ;>)

augustlan's avatar

The things I have treasured most are “love letters”. Write down your deepest feelings of love and appreciation. Let her know why you love her…serious things about the kind of human being she is, but the silly stuff, too. Like her crooked smile, bed-head hair or cute chipped tooth. Tell her you want to grow old with her. You are good with words, Tiny…after all you have made all of us aware of how much you love her!

PS: A massage, too!

augustlan's avatar

Oh, and happy anniversary!

cyndyh's avatar

I think the massage thing is a great idea for someone who’s had a stressful time lately or someone who works hard. Also along those lines would be a full pedicure with the cooling mask for the feet and the whole nine yards. It feels great and she’ll enjoy it even if she’s not into toe polish and girlie-girl things. There are a lot of spa treatments she might enjoy that would be relaxing.

Other than that, my husband gets me music, books he knows I’ll be interested in (when I was in school gift books had nothing to do with school because I needed a break), some sort of thing I’ve been wanting for one of my hobbies, a nice bottle of wine, flowers, etc.

Still go out to dinner though because you’ve made it a tradition.

One of the best gifts my husband got me was when we had just moved across the country and were living in temp housing. I didn’t think we’d do anything for Valentine’s Day because we were still sorting things from the move. He got me a beautiful blown glass vase (I love blown glass and can watch people doing that for hours) and filled it with flowers.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

Seriously? Take Ms. Non-Sentimental out to a club in a big city like Chicago or Boston or any place that has a happening scene. Plan on staying out until the club(s) close. You can’t head back to your hotel earlier than 4:00 a.m. If the clubs close earlier, find an all night eatery and talk about the night. Talk about the dancing. The things and people you saw. The drinks you had. The music. Laugh. Go to the hotel (not before 4!) and sleep like the dead. Wake up in the mid-afternoon. Talk. Fool around. Have sex. Get room service for dinner and watch a movie on TV. Sleep.

It works. We do it about once, sometimes twice per year. You need time to get out of your environment and let your hair hang down knowing you don’t have anything to do tomorrow. You might feel a bit tired, but dear god, your going to feel refreshed.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Okay. I just have one suggestion: DON’T get her a toaster oven.

(Tim gave me a toaster oven for our anniversary last night, and after he saw my face he looked like he was going to cry! It was a NICE toaster oven, but it was still a toaster oven, you know?)

I would suggest definitely flowers and chocolates,
and maybe one of the things below, some may appeal to you, some may not:

a “night on the town” for example, after dinner: a play, ballet, opera, symphony, jazz club, salsa dancing, etc.—if you’re into any of those things. If you’re not, consider them all retracted…

OR a “queen for the day” thing. you wake her up with breakfast in bed, take her to get a massage or spa day or whatever, don’t let her do any dishes, or anything like that all day, take her out to dinner someplace fancy, go home, let her be the queen in bed, give her a lot of attention, etc

OR perhaps a romantic getaway: the beach, the mountains, a little cabin with a fireplace? a 10th floor condo or apartment right on the water?

OR a mini-version of that—take a stroll in park, and pick a secluded but pretty spot, throw down a big blanket, then spend the afternoon picnicking on chocolate-covered strawberries, cucumber sandwiches, and other cute little things, chatting, reading, laying around

OR some combination of the above done in your own style

marinelife's avatar

I agree with ausgustlan. There is nothing she would value more than a letter on your feelings.

Also, if you and she are not sentimental, what about something for the house? Maybe she has complained that the bathroom is too small or you need a deck or she wants to redo he landscaping in the side yard.

Think outside the box of traditional remembrances and go for something that would have meaning for the two of you.

Nimis's avatar

If you don’t like to accumulate things, you could just collect different things around the house that are meaningful to the both of you. If you feel like writing, you could write a little something for each. If you don’t feel like writing, you could pair each object with a song and make a playlist of it. Add a nice bottle of wine on the porch and a really snuggly blanket. Mmmmm…cozy.

I don’t think you need anything new to show her how much she means to you.
All of that stuff is around you all the time.
It’s just nice to dust them off every once in awhile and relive those moments.
And the new moments you’re making now. [corny, corny, gush, gush]

But a spa wouldn’t hurt either.

tinyfaery's avatar

Just want to let ya’ll know that the wife ixnayed the spa; she didn’t want to spend the money. So we went to brunch, went to the newly renovated Griffith Park Observatory, went to Santa Monica pier, and ate dinner; I even had a Margarita. I didn’t get time to perfect a letter, but I started writing it. I figure I’ll give it to her on a random day; we do stuff like that. And we decided to take a spa trip to Napa over her winter break. Thanks for the suggestions!

augustlan's avatar

It sounds like you had a really nice time! Glad it worked out for the two of you.

Response moderated

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther