Can women get their cake and eat it too?

i know some women who are very feminist. however, whenever they go on a date, they expect the guy to pay, or for him to hold the door open, or to make the first move.

doesn’t this contradict everything that women are fighting for? they’re letting the man show his financial dominance by paying the bill, they’re letting themselves seem weakened by not being able to open a door, and dont feminists not believe in separate gender roles?