General Question

augustlan's avatar

Was I successful in my epic quest to get my Republican husband to vote for Obama?

Asked by augustlan (47720points) October 8th, 2008

Yes! You Flutherites helped a lot, too! Now, ask me how I accomplished such a feat. Perhaps it can be duplicated…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

46 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

How did you accomplished such a feat?

laureth's avatar

Voted early?

SoapChef's avatar

yaaaaaaay, (clapping sounds)

autumn43's avatar

I would love to know. I have an 18 year old son who will be voting for the first time and we have had monumental “discussions” about his voting for John McCain.

Nimis's avatar

Would it be wrong for you to threaten to shove him
back up your uterus until November 5th?

Just kidding. Everyone should have their own say.

charliecompany34's avatar

it’s just the right thing to do honey. we need a change. give obama a chance. ya did good. dont know what ya did, but ya did good.

autumn43's avatar

@Nimis – Although, your solution is one way to keep him from the McCain vote – it would most likely put ME out of commission and I wouldn’t be able to make my vote. :0)

Emilyy's avatar

Good work! Can you have a sit-down with the rest of those “undecideds” out there?

Emilyy's avatar

@autumn: is it too late to register yourself for absentee status?

augustlan's avatar

Okay…now this approach won’t work with anyone who is truly a republican, but my husband just identifies as one. He is really a libertarian, so his main “republican” ideas have to do with smaller, less intrusive government and lower taxes, and a strong national defense. His views on human rights, however, are more those of a democrat: Pro-choice, pro-gay rights, etc. In short, I used logic, reason, and proof:

1) Made him own up to the fact that his candidate did not share any of his human rights positions. (He was aware, of course, but still identified as a repub.)

2) Showed him proof that his personal taxes would actually be lower under Obama’s plan, than under McCain’s.

3) Showed him how, under repub. control, the government had only gotten bigger, and more intrusive (Patriot Act, etc).

Points 2 and 3 made him realize that the “old republican platform” does not sync with today’s republican government. In general, his view of the party was an out-dated one.

4) Got him to admit that if there is any possibility of change for the better, it will come from Obama. McCain has been in congress for 26 years, and is too entrenched to change it, etc.

5) At this point, still very resistant to changing his “identity”, he brought up “character”. I spent hours sourcing the evidence (pointed out by you good people) of McCain’s character flaws. I was able to show him that Obama’s character is at least as good (or bad, if you like) as McCain’s.

As my husband very strongly identifies as a good, moral, strong, man (think John Wayne) and is turning 50 next week, this was a very difficult change of mind for him to make. He has voted republican in every election except the very first one he was eligible for, and it is a huge part of the way he thinks of himself. So, it was an internal struggle for him to abandon that part of himself. However, he is also one of the smartest men I know, and logic and reason will win out in the end. He pledged to vote for Obama.

Nimis's avatar

Solid work, LAN.

augustlan's avatar

Thanks for all the help you guys gave me.

janbb's avatar

There’s a very good writeup of the the two candidates in this week’s New Yorker; comparing them both on several issues including character. They are stronngly pro-Obama but show many reasons why they feel he is the best choice. Good reading for anyone who wants to see a logical argument for choosing Obama.

Comedian's avatar

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! DEMOCRATS UNITE!!!!!!!!!!!

SquirrelEStuff's avatar

Was he a Ron Paul supporter?

Just curious

augustlan's avatar

Nope, because he’s also a realist. He won’t support someone who has no chance of winning…doesn’t want to “waste” his vote.

Judi's avatar

Unless they cheat again, Augustian is proof that Obama will win by a landslide. If her Husband is convinced then Woo hoo!!!!!

Response moderated
augustlan's avatar

iHigh…stop spamming my thread.

SquirrelEStuff's avatar

If you vote for something you believe in, your not “wasting” your vote.
And by realist, I assume you mean that if the media is saying something, he follows.
I also assume that’s why he changed his vote. Because the media says Obama is winning and doesn’t want to “waste” his vote.

SquirrelEStuff's avatar

And while I agree that he is spamming “your” thread, which isnt right, this is Fluther’s thread, not your thread.

And as far as the government being intrusive, Obama did vote for FISA, and Ive never heard him talk about repealing the Patriot Act, MCA, or even mention the Violent Radicalization and HomeGrown Terrorism Prevention Act(S1959), which is currently sitting in the Senate, just waiting for a good reason to be passed and signed into law.

dalepetrie's avatar


arnbev959's avatar

And, thanks in part to you guys, I am getting closer to convincing my republican mom to vote Obama this election as well.

dalepetrie's avatar

I wonder if he’ll flip Indiana? Missouri? North Carolina? Georgia? West Virginia? Texas? Can you freakin’ imagine?

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Pete, I’m not, and my mom’s an “independent” whatever the hell that means. Any tips? From anyone?

augustlan's avatar

@chris: No, he doesn’t vote for the clear winner, just because the media says so. Did you not read that he has voted republican for almost 30 years? He won’t support someone who doesn’t have a chance in hell, because that may/will draw votes from a viable candidate that he can live with.

AstroChuck's avatar

Admit it. You showed him some of my clever posts then told him that I was supporting Obama. Am I right?

cheebdragon's avatar

Why does he need to vote the same as you? Just curious

augustlan's avatar

@cheeb: He absolutely need not vote the same way I do. I do think though, that it’s important to vote your beliefs. Vote for policies you agree with, not on party or personality. Knowing him like I do, I felt there was a huge disconnect between his beliefs and his party affiliation (see above). When I questioned this disconnect, his initial responses were quite adamant to the contrary…however, every single reason he gave for supporting McCain (lower taxes, smaller government, etc) I knew to be wishful thinking. One of the things I know about my husband (of three years) is that he is very loyal. I came to realize that he was “standing by his party”, for that reason. After thoroughly proving to him that he actually agreed with Obama far more than McCain and that his personal tax outlook would be better under Obama, his final roadblock was the character issue. I provided mounds of evidence that showed they were at least equally questionable. He realized that he’d been holding on to an idea of what it meant to be a republican that no longer holds true, and does not mesh with his belief system whatsoever. He made his decision based on logic and reason, letting go of his reluctance to changing his self identity.

trumi's avatar


Can you work on my grandmother next?

cyndyh's avatar

Good job, you!

maybe_KB's avatar

Sex or McCain

Judi's avatar

You could use this approach with your grandmother, (not for the easily offended)

dalepetrie's avatar

augustlan, I recently read something that put a lot into perspective on this issue. You mentioned your husband’s fierce loyalty, and I guess one of the main differences between conservatives and liberals is that conservatives value loyalty above just about anything. This explains why Republicans in Congress almost ALWAYS vote along party lines. This explains why McCain had such a hard time connecting to his base, because of the relatively few times he’d gone against party orthodoxy on matters of importance to the base. And it explains people like your husband.

But that’s not all that uncommon of a theme this time, there are a surprising number of Republicans who have broken with party loyalty this time around. I saw something similar with my father.

My dad basically left home at age 17 and joined the military, and pretty much remained in the military in some form for the next nearly 25 years (most of the later years were national guard and/or reserves). He actually volunteered for Vietnam and though he didn’t see heavy combat, he is very proud of his military service. The military was good to him, gave him opportunities he wouldn’t have had otherwise when he was younger to make a good living, in mid life it gave him a chance to go back to tech school and learn a new vocation (and get student loans which helped the family tremendously), and now that he’s retired with full disability and full pension, he is enjoying a level of financial independence he never had when he was a working stiff.

For him, the #1 issue was the military, and when he was in Vietnam, Democrats were the ones who would spit on veterans, Republicans were the ones who were strong, pro-military men. My dad LOVED Ronald Reagan and even Bush, Sr. He voted for Dole in ‘96, and for W both times, not that he liked W all that much, at least not in 2004, but his mantra was that Republicans are pro-military and Democrats are anti-military. I guess I used to look at that as “set in his ways,” which is certainly in line with conservatism (he’s never been exactly enlightened about cultures or situations other than his own, but he’s also never been a hateful person), but after gaining this perspective about how conservatives think, I came to believe it was more a sense of loyalty than just “being set in his ways” that led him to vote the way he did.

He is fiercely loyal to whomever he thinks will be the best military candidate, and to me, logic would dictate that John McCain would have his vote, and there wouldn’t be anything I could do about it. But my dad reads the newsletters he gets from the VFW. He visits the VA hospital for his medical needs. He is seeing what Bush’s war has wrought in terms of newly disabled veterans. He is seeing that Republicans (like McCain) are voting against things like the new GI Bill while Democrats (like Obama) are voting for it. And what I thought would be a war I wasn’t even going to try to wage for his vote, never even materialized, because way back in the primary, he told my mom he thought Obama was the best candidate.

I can’t tell you how floored I was, the Republican/military thing was what cemented the deal in my mind, something that would keep him on the other side forever. And I was doubly shocked, because as I said, he’s never been all that “enlightened”, having been a white man born in northern Minnesota in 1941, his teen and young adult years pre-date the civil rights movement. I often felt growing up like he was Archie Bunker and I was Meathead with some of the arguments we got into. He was clearly on Nixon’s side in the late 60s and early 70s. He was a guy who didn’t think twice about telling racist jokes. He was the kind of guy who’d claim that when he was in the Air Force “some of my best friends were black” but would turn around and tell me (when I was a teenager) that I shouldn’t ever date a black girl because if we ever got married and had mixed race kids, society wouldn’t accept our family (and that’s my cleaned up version of what he said). I guess I knew him to be unenlightened, but never malicious.

So, I didn’t think he’d EVER support a black candidate for President (I remember him saying some pretty choice things about Jessie Jackson, and even Martin Luther King, and he’d say his problem with them was that they were preachers, not that they were black, but I could see some hypocrisy and half truths there). But really, he’s a kind hearted guy, he actually is ideologically more in line with the Democrats and has been for years, and sincerely thinks it’s his duty to vote for the best person regardless of race, but to him, it’s about who is going to be better for the military. Up until now, Democrats haven’t made their case effectively enough to him. But I think 8 years of W throwing our military into harms way for the wrong reasons without justification, and his (and the Republican led Congress’) less than stellar treatment of those who served our country, finally led him to question the long held assumption that Democrats are anti-military, Republicans are pro-military.

I think that’s the key to it. If you know someone who is stuck in Republican mode, not because they are a true Republican (if you believe what they believe, then that’s whom you should vote for, no question), but because they react out of a sense of loyalty to the party or to an ideal that the party once held but no longer does (could be any issue, really), then I think it’s worth fighting the good fight and confronting these people with example after example of places where what they believe does not match how they are voting.

Like cheeb said, I don’t think we should be striving to get everyone to vote just like we do, but I think if we see someone who is voting against his own set of beliefs and values, we owe it to that person to make sure he/she is aware of what the world REALLY looks like today. Some people need to wake up, and I’m sure there are Democrats who support what the Dems used to be, but aren’t anymore. It’s in this spirit that I think what you’ve done is a wonderful thing, and I applaud you for it.

augustlan's avatar

Thank you, Dale.

critter1982's avatar

D@mn. LOL. Good job though. I’m impressed.

augustlan's avatar

Thank you, critter, I doubly appreciate that I impressed you!

dalepetrie's avatar

It seems to me that at this point, if the economy is your #1 concern and you’re not already voting for Obama, you’re not going to switch. But if any of you are trying to convert someone to vote for Obama, and you know that this person’s voting for McCain because they think he’ll be the better military person (kind of what I expected my dad to do), then either show them this link, or communicate the talking points to them:

I know McCain still seems to have the upper hand on one issue, and one issue alone…military/national security. This would probably convince anyone who can be convinced at this point that McCain is no friend to the military.

Response moderated
andrew's avatar

[removed trolling]

tiffyandthewall's avatar

@judi, i love that video so much!

lataylor's avatar

My Democrat wife voted for McCain and I voted Republican for the first time in 12 years. Now, on March 20th I feel quite good about it. Obama has had more cabinet problems than the last 4 presidents combined (2 secretraies have resigned in the prior 28 years, but Obama has had 3 resign) and now we will have a federal deficit 5 times larger than Bush’s. We are stealing from our children, and what for? To partake in corporate welfare and support failed state and county governments like California. The Federal government is building us a nice City police station for several million dollars here in Albuquerque. How does making Nebraskans pay for our police station make sense?

trumi's avatar

Don’t blame me, I voted for Hoover.

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