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What are the pros and cons of adopting (as opposed to birthing) a child?

Asked by girlofscience (7567points) October 18th, 2008

If I decide to have a child, I think I would like to adopt her rather than birth her. Even though this would not be happening for at least another ten years, it’s certainly something I would like to put many years of thought into. For those of you who have children (by birth or by adoption), I am interested in your opinions.

As I see it (as related to my situation and things I care about), these are the pros and cons of which I am aware:

PROS:
– No adverse effects on my body (no stretch marks, no weight gain)
– Less detrimental to my career (I wouldn’t need as much time off, and people wouldn’t even technically need to know I was having a baby, so they wouldn’t be opposed to collaborating with me because they’re afraid I’m too busy with my baby)
– I could ensure my baby would be female (I only want one child, and I want her to be female)

CONS:
– I will never see genetic things of either parent (daddy’s eyes, mommy’s smile)
– My child will not have innate personality characteristics related to either parent
– I will not get the fun attention of being pregnant
– I will miss out on many exciting things associated with becoming a mom the “natural” way (Lamaze class, etc.)

What are your thoughts, both on the pros and cons I’ve listed and on any others?

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