General Question

GothGirl1313's avatar

How do you romantically pursue someone?

Asked by GothGirl1313 (118points) August 16th, 2007

What gestures do you use to indicate romantic feelings towards another? Perhaps a friend?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

glial's avatar

Notes, cards, flowers. Talking usually works pretty well, also.

kevbo's avatar

I'll add that many guys (me being a prime example) are shall we say not very perceptive when it comes to getting the message. If what you're doing doesn't seem to be working, try being less subtle.

hossman's avatar

Me? I never really pursued anyone. I'm fortunate enough (OK, with a few unpleasant exceptions) to have always had relationships (including my wife) with women who were my good friends first, and then the friendship just mutated into more when both of us realized what a good thing we had going. I recommend this to everyone. I've always found friends are harder to get than sex, anyway.

jca's avatar

i would say just try to see if they want to go somewhere with you, really casual, like an amusement park or out for coffee, or a movie, and that way they can get to see that they are enjoying your company. if for some reason they don't want to go farther, you haven't done anything that can jeopardize your friendship. above all else, in the future, you will value having this person as a friend. so if you try to be somewhat restrained with the mushy part till you know where you stand with them, you can preserve the friendship if the romance does not happen.

skfinkel's avatar

Do you do any cooking? Maybe giving your friend a freshly baked batch of cookies, or a wonderful loaf of warm -from-the-oven bread. I would also suggest knitting something small or making something you have done yourself for your friend. These sound like very old fashioned female-type things, but they are personal and show that you have taken some time. And there is nothing here that doesn't say "friend" as well.

Hawaiiguy's avatar

as a guy, simple touching seems to send me a message that a girl
likes me. When were talking and she puts her hand on my arm with a soft smile tells
me she likes what I'm saying and if I'm interested in her I'll notice the attempt at physical connection.

GothGirl1313's avatar

So if a friend touches you, shares his meals with you when you go out, takes a sip of your wine or beer, is he interested- more than a friend? But doesn't call you to go out? By the way, we've been friends for two years, of which we initially dated for three months.

glial's avatar

@segdeha best answer ever! Good thinking!

andrew's avatar

@gothgirl: could be that he just feels super comfy around you. Even then, you might need to jump-start his interest. If you're interested...maybe you should start giving him "hints" and see how he reacts... a sexy dress can go a long way...

maggiesmom1's avatar

If you know for sure that he's interested in your gender, then I would make the first move. Call *him* to go out. See what happens. He may be nervous to make the first move if a prior dating experience ended up poorly. Can't hurt to try, if you're interested in more than friendship.

Hawaiiguy's avatar

If I touch a girl I like, I will usually put my hand behind her elbow and let
my fingers slide off same thing with a knee . If you touch him in this way he will know the intention, whether he's responsive to it is another story. I'm assuming your shy about your feelings...

glial's avatar

@Hawaiiguy - I'm sorry but that just gave me the heeby jeebies. Might as well go with cake, or bunny boiling.

;-) Just picking..

Hawaiiguy's avatar

g, that's the problem with so many people, they have a very uptight "personal space" phobia. I personally would be freaked out if some girl (if I didn't know her that well) sent me a cake. Stalker:)

hossman's avatar

Until I found out I was diabetic, sending me a cake would have been a pretty good way to get me interested. A peach cobbler, and I would have been putty in any girl's hands. I proposed marriage (not seriously) on the basis of a sweet potato pie once. I had a stalker once, I would come home from work at 4 a.m. and she would be waiting, sitting on the stairs outside my door. Seriously creepy.

GothGirl1313's avatar

@andrew: I've worn the sexy dresses-sometimes it results in a makeout session. Sometimes not.
@maggiesmom1: I'm pretty sure he's interested in my gender. We have the same circle of friends and I've seen him flirt with other women-not consistently. One recent outing, while he was flirting with another woman, I made a comment that I was going to leave and see a band. All the sudden he paid attention to me - what gives?!?
@Hawaiiguy: I did have the 'should we remain friends or date again' conversation last year. In short, it was never resolved, his next relationship is going to be his last, so he says. Because I've made my feelings known in the past, I'm very hesitant to reveal my feelings. Yet again. But maybe he thinks I've lost interest?
I don't communicate with him on a daily basis like some-you know the type, every day brings a phone call, e-mail, something. Isn't that claustrophobic? Too needy?
I will consider sending a cake as a last resort.

GothGirl1313's avatar

Case closed. He is dating another woman and feels that could turn into something. Also told me he thinks about me, I'm important in his life and loves me. I told him I love him. I'm in such despair.

andrew's avatar

Oh, GothGirl, I'm sorry. A case of he's just not that into you. Get some distance. Find someone else. And sure enough, the moment you realize the your new guy is the one for you, old guy will call you. And then you can write a romantic comedy about it.

kawaii_ninja's avatar

GothGirl….i’m really sorry for you. I kinda know how it feels, i really like this amazing guy, but i think he likes someone else, and i can’t convey how much i like him without he backing off and thinking i’m such a weirdo. Don’t worry, i’m sure another guy will come along. Like andrew said, you can eventually write a comedy about it xD

shockvalue's avatar

binoculars and a blocked cell number…

acebamboo77's avatar

Hey, forgive me gothgirl, for leeching off your question, but i have a similar problem.
I have a long time friend that i would consider my closest male friend. For the past year we had a secret friends with benefits relationship… he had a girlfriend at one point but the friendship remained, and the sex stopped, and that was cool with me. I’d rather him respect his girl friend than anything else, cause I know what it’s like to be decieved. They have broke up however, and since the break up things have gone back to normal…. but have changed.
I had moved away to school, and prior to moving home for the summer he called me almost every night, just to chat most of the time. I just assumed he could be lonely. He also on several occassions told me he couldnt wait till I was coming home because he misses me, but I just dismiss that as being him lonely again, and looking forward to me coming home because we confide in each other alot.
Since I moved home, I feel as though he makes an effort now, (that wasn’t there before), to make sure I am comfortable and happy.
But he asked to hang out tonight, and i had already made plans with another guy friend of mine (completely plutonic in all ways) to go for a drive so i explained i had made plans to go for a drive and he made a crude comment asking me what his dick looked like. i just joked and brushed it off, and told him to call me tmrw to hang out…. then my friend picked me up and we drove, we came to a corner and there was the guy im interested in his car with some broad.
I think hes just jealous…and I don’t know what to think of the girl…i didnt recognize her, but hes got alot of female friends, and i dont want to jump to conclusions because i was doing the same thing….driving with a friend of the opposite sex.
so do you think it was him being jealous, or should i have something to worry about?

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