General Question

pplufthesun's avatar

Why can mormons only marry other mormons?

Asked by pplufthesun (607points) October 27th, 2008

Why can mormons only marry other mormons?

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33 Answers

DrasticDreamer's avatar

In short, it’s because anyone not of the Mormon religion isn’t worthy. People, especially other Mormons, may put it a little nicer, but no matter what they say, that’s what it comes down to. Trust me – most of my family on my dad’s side are very religious Mormons – so I know.

When my cousin got married they wouldn’t even allow my grandma into their Temple, simply because she wasn’t Mormon – it literally goes against their religion.

asmonet's avatar

Um. They can marry whoever they like. Just like us normals. They just have different sacrifices.

@drastic: removed, because you policed yourself. :P

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@asmonet: Yes, yes I did. I fixed it right before you pointed that out. :D

fireside's avatar

If a man and woman have been married only by a civilly recognized authority (such as a government or religious representative), their marriage will end at death. They can, however, work towards gaining permission to enter a Mormon temple and be sealed together so that their marriage will be “bound” on both earth and in heaven.

Celestial marriage refers to a type of marriage which Mormons believe is intended to last beyond the grave and through eternity. “Celestial” means “heavenly,” and indeed, a celestial marriage is a heavenly marriage. This does not indicate a marriage that takes place in heaven, but rather a kind of marriage that is heavenly in nature; it is divine in its origin and potential.


La_chica_gomela's avatar

fireside, i just want to add that not every Mormon marriage is a sealing ceremony. From what I know, typically you get married first, and then once you have proven your commitment over some number of years you can be eternally sealed to each other. I don’t have a source from the ‘net right now. i’m just recalling what I read in a book.

additionally, in the morman church, men can be sealed to multiple women (in the case of being a widower), but a widowed woman can never be sealed second time. (not that it’s relevant to the question at hand, but it’s true…).

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Basically, Mormons are crazy.

Tolerance… blah, blah… They’re crazy! Forgive me… I’m in a mood…

La_chica_gomela's avatar

drasticdreamer, aren’t we all at least a little crazy? ;-)

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I can’t speak for everyone else, but no, not me… I’m absolutely insane. :-D

fireside's avatar

I don’t know, there’s something sort of sweet about deciding that you are going to be married for eternity. I was looking for something on non temple weddings on this site, chica but didn’t find much. I did find this though.

Wedding couples are asked to keep the number of guests relatively small, primarily inviting their immediate family and only a few close friends; this allows the service to remain reverent and sacred.

To me, crazy is deciding that $30,000 isn’t enough to spend on a wedding because you don’t want you guests to think you were cheap. I knew some women who would laugh at $50,000 as being too little. Having a small ceremony where you can actually make it a spiritual moment sounds pretty good to me, whether it is in a temple, or on a beach, or by a lake…

Of course, I’m a single guy, so what do I know?

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I didn’t say other people weren’t crazy, too. But… When my grandma couldn’t enter the temple simply because she wasn’t Mormon… No. She was extremely close to everyone there, including the bride – my cousin. There was no real reason for it, other than craziness.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

fireside, i’m not talking about “non-temple weddings” i’m talking about a wedding being a different ceremony from a sealing ceremony. a wedding is a wedding. a sealing is a sealing. from what i understand about the mormon church, they’re different.

sure i think it’s sweet for two people to want to be sealed to each other forever. what i think about one guy being sealed to three different women forever is a different story…

fireside's avatar

Hey, i’m all for three, eternity is a long time. but, you know, just one would work for now, lol

I think that the first quote might have alluded to what you are talking about. It says that they can get married, but it will only be a temporal earth-bound marriage. Then if they are worthy, they can work towards a sealing ceremony. (paraphrasing, of course)

All I really know about Mormons is that they did a great service to humanity by compiling detailed genealogy charts. Beyond that, I don’t know much, but they’re on my list for future study.

AstroChuck's avatar

That’s the only way they can make Mormonlings.

cheebdragon's avatar

To contain the crazy people…..?

PupnTaco's avatar

I think living forever on your very own planet is sweet, too. I’ll take the Cloud City of Bespin.

Malakai's avatar


Mormonism is a horribly stupid religion… Joseph Smith? Golden plates? Reformed Egyptian? Seer Stones? The Curse of Cain Doctrine? It would be pretty difficult to reconcile these insane beliefs with someone not indoctrinated into them, eh?

girlofscience's avatar

@DrasticDreamer: Are they Fundamentalist Mormons? I am so fascinated with Fundamentalist Mormons.

Snoopy's avatar

I really don’t think “Mormons marrying Mormons” is any different from Jews marrying Jews or Catholics marrying Catholics.

It just depends on how strictly you adhere to the customs of your family and religious organization.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@girlofscience: Well… It depends, I guess. They don’t drink caffeine, all of the boys go on Missions when they turn 18, no sex before marriage, have 18 million kids after marriage, etc, etc, etc.

They don’t, however, have more than one wife.

asmonet's avatar

Not all of them avoid caffeine, and they don’t all go on missions.

krose1223's avatar

HAHAHAHAHA. Ok,now how many of you are, or once have been LDS? Mormon’s don’t think someone who is not mormon is not good enough. WRONG! Mormon’s do have high standards, but that is not a bad thing. Family is number one priority on their list. Mormon’s believe when they get married in the temple it is for TIME AND ALL ETERNITY not just until death do you part. They are “sealed” to eachother and their future children. When I was mormon even I wasn’t allowed to attend my brother’s wedding in the temple. To them it is a very sacred ceremony and a very sacred place. I get that. I’ve been in other parts of the temple and it really is a peaceful place… when I was all into being mormon I wouldn’t have wanted just anybody to barge in there and ruin my peaceful moment. Jeeze, there is so much I want to say on here to correct you guys, but I know no one likes to read long messages. MODERN LATTER DAY SAINTS DO NOT MARRY MORE THAN ONE WOMAN!!!! Yes the weirdo’s that started the religion did but that is not part of their belief’s today. It is actually AGAINST. There is A Reinvented Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints which are not really MORMON. They’re wannabes. Yes, there is a strange history to mormons but don’t judge until you actually KNOW what you are talking about. Most of the answers on here sound so uniformed my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. I don’t agree with a lot of the things they teach but I will never tell a person they are crazy for what they believe or practice. It’s their life let them live it how they want. Let them be happy in their happy mormon bubble. If it weren’t for all the bullshit things people said to me about my religion, my middle school years would have been much better. Educate yourselves before you talk. And if you don’t agree that’s fine, but don’t put down another person’s belief.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Krose, if you read what I wrote, I never said they married more than one woman at the same time. I said widowed women cannot be sealed to another man after their husband has passed away, but that a widowed man can.

Are trying to say that that’s not correct?

Snoopy's avatar

Krose Instead of writing an long rambling rant sprinkled w/ lots of CAPS and some good info, why not provide what you feel is a reputable link to educate people about being a modern Mormon?

I worked w/ several Mormons at one time and found them always open and willing to educate me on their religion.

krose1223's avatar

la chica that’s why I didn’t say all of you. I think there were just a few in here that really irked me. And as far as that goes, anyone can cancel who they are sealed to. My mom did it with her first husband.

Snoopy all the good links I know will forever be misinerpreted. the best one I know is this one but I know that would just give everyone on here more bad things to say. Like I said there is a crazy history to the LDS religion but it’s not what they teach today. You can’t educate most people on the religion because they are too close-minded and judgmental.

Like I have said on this site before, I no longer practice the religion and I have had far too many bad experiences with things people have said and done to me. Live what I did for a little while and experience being spit on for what you believe then tell me you wouldn’t get heated when people begin bashing on things they don’t know. The website I gave gives the real history, and some of it is very disturbing. Now if you go to this it is what they like to teach people today. All the things on the first link are more so the history… the second link is the present.

And to give the question another answer, I think it just makes things easier. My sister is married to someone who is not mormon and she still is, but it can sometimes become an issue. I think that goes for any religion. Especially once kids are in the picture. Relgion is a very important thing to most people, and I mean that even if you don’t believe in God. I think when people don’t agree on something as important as religion there will be many arguments and problems.

Snoopy's avatar

@krose Thanks for the links. I will take a look at them….

I think you said it best of all…in answer to the original question: “it just makes things easier”

It sure does….I was originally engaged to someone who was not of the same religion. It didn’t bother me, but it was a problem for his family….and ultimately for him.

krose1223's avatar

also as a side note, I do apologize for not handling my answer with a little more composure. For reasons I still have not figured out, I tend to get very defensive on the matter. I guess after defending myself for so long it’s hard to change… even when I don’t believe in the relgion myself. I have lots and lots of family that are mormon and they are all good people. I just hate to see and hear that my family is “crazy” or “stupid” or whatever other adjective people like to use on mormons.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

A lot of my family are also Mormon and I still choose to believe they’re crazy. Most all religious people are, in my opinion. And I’m sorry you don’t like my opinion, but it’s mine and I’m allowed to have it.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

krose, i completely understand. i jumped to conclusions on this thread, and i also get very defensive about my own religion. it makes me feel better that i’m not the only one. (btw, i GAd you on answer #2, it was very helpful!)

i’m curious about one thing you said. I just didn’t quite understand.

You said, “I no longer practice the religion and have had far too many bad experiences with things people have said and done to me.”

I can’t tell if you’re saying that those two are related or not, did you stop practicing the religion because of these experiences, or for some other reason? And in the second part, you’re talking about things that non-mormons did to you? Is that correct?

krose1223's avatar

It was a mix of things. I was already questioning my faith and the fact that people ridiculed me didn’t really help matters. I wasn’t happy in the church and my peers only made it worse. Yes Im talking about non-mormons. I moved to a small town in Texas that was mostly Baptists and Catholics. I was the only mormon teenager in my town. People seemed to think they knew everything about my religion when I was the first LDS person they ever even met. I wasnt bad until I moved to a small town. I was literally spat at and people would stop talking to just because of my religion.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

krose, that must have been so hard. i grew up in a synagogue in the suburbs that really catered to rural families. most of my friends there grew up as the only jewish family in their town and the only they and their siblings as jewish kids in their high school, and i’ve heard a lot of similar stories, i’ve been told i’m going to hell, and all that sort of thing. people (especially when you’re young) can be so rude, and so incredibly hurtful.

lilikoi's avatar

I thought that you can either get married inside or outside of the temple, and that only if you are married inside the temple are you sealed to each other for eternity.

I also thought Mormons could marry non-Mormons. It is their choice, but:

They also believe that only Mormons make it to the highest ‘level’ of ‘heaven’ while good non-Mormons can only make it as far as the level of heaven that is basically equivalent to earth.

Since only baptized Mormons are allowed to enter the temples, if a Mormon were to marry a non-Mormon, they probably wouldn’t be able to marry there and thus would never be ‘sealed’ for ‘all eternity’. I’m not sure how a mormon would handle this because their beliefs seem to consider this extremely important. So I guess while a Mormon theoretically could marry a non-Mormon, they would prefer to marry within their religion.

And yes, I’m pretty sure you have to be baptized Mormon in order to be allowed into the temples. Doesn’t seem any different from a club only allowing its members in, although to be excluded from a wedding seems a little harsh.

hurricane92596's avatar

Not all mormons marry inside the temple because their fiancee is not a member of the church!!! Mormons get married in the temple because we believe that we can be married together forever!! In civil marriages they say quote: “Until death do you part,” which means that when you die you are no longer married. In the Temple they say quote: Forever into eternity,” which means that they are married forever they do not part when they die. They are still married when they die!! We are not crazy. The reason that you grandmother could not go inside the temple is because she was not a member but not only because she is not a member but because not anybody can go into the temple. Even some mormons cannot go into the temple because they are unclean and have problems they have to fix such as smoking, drinking, being unchaste(sex before marriage), have committed adulutery, and another multitude of reasons. You have to be worthy or clean in order to enter into the temple and you have to be a member. I hope that this answers some of ya’lls questions.

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