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melly6708's avatar

What should i do about my room mate?

Asked by melly6708 (502points) October 30th, 2008

ok so heres the deal my room mate gets on my nerves pretty much all the time.. shes a foreign exchange student thats only going to be here for fall quarter.. so over all we get along but she does these little things that annoy me.. for example… when im away for the weekend she goes crazy, she touches all my things she unplugs my air freshener (which smells WAY better than her.. aparently she hasnt discovered deodorant) .. anyways last week i had some food in my fridge (which i let her use) and when i got back it was gone.. she freakin ate my food.. and when i saw her she said that she was hungry so she ate it.. (she has 19 meals a week..i have 10) .. she left my fridge open after eating my food.. and when i got back it was a disaster .. and there was water everywhere… during the week i like to go to sleep at like 1030 and shes likes to go to sleep at 3AM!!. today i had a class at 8am.. and i got up at 745.. cause i was soo tired and couldnt go to sleep until 3am.. shes up all night on aim and she types so loud.. LIKE OMG!!

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO… i dont wanna be a big b**** cause shes only here for like 2 more months.. but i cant stand it anymore… i was thinking about locking my fridge and see how shes reacts to it.. (my fridge comes with a

i dont know what to do.. anyone have advice.?

AND i believe that i ama good room mate.. i dont even bug her.. i have only had one friend over once.. and it was like for an hr.. and she brings all her friends over.. at like 1 am

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14 Answers

asmonet's avatar

Your ideas about locking your fridge are immature. Period. Have an honest discussion with her about your expectations, you are not a child, I don’t gather from your post that you’ve tried to speak with her as opposed to talking at her if that. You need to take a look at yourself and ask yourself what specifically bothers you about her, deal with those issues individually.

People from different cultures have different ways, you are just as foreign to her as she is to you. She might not enjoy your air freshener. She might have thought you were roommates and it would be okay if you shared food. You need to speak to her.

Everyone has run-ins with their roommates. Everyone. If you rise to the occasion and act like the adult you’re striving to be over there at college you may find some common ground and the next two months can become a wonderful and enriching time for you, instead of a hellhole of girl drama.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Yeah, consider this a trial run for life. It’s good practice, because you’re going to be dealing with similar situations with some frequency in the future.

You have to man up, be an adult, and have a civil, honest conversation. You never want to get to the point where you’re so frustrated and angry that you blow up at her—that won’t get you anywhere and it’s unnecessary, since you should have addressed the issue before it got to that point.

You will probably have more roommates in your life, and I’m betting (from my own experience) that you will continue to experience these little irritations, regardless of who they are. It’s par for the course of living with someone, platonic or romantic. People can be very irritating. The best course of action is to address the issues head-on to avoid any animosity or repressed anger or resentment.

GAMBIT's avatar

Every time she does a load of laundry hide one of her socks.

Ryanmiller's avatar

Sit her down and talk to her about it. Believe it or not she may not even realize what shes doing, so show her and maybe she will understand and stop. If not do anything you possibly can to annoy the f**k out of her. Nothing big just little things that would really get to her.

deaddolly's avatar

She sounds like my daughters roommate! If talking with her doesn’t help, get the RA involved. And if talking doesn’t work, you have every right to lock your stuff up. My daughter is kept up all the time by one of her 3 other roomies…she gets up and bitches. They catch on eventually and have finally stopped. Another roommate sets the heat on 90 before she goes to bed. Everyone wakes up in sweat.

Such is college life!

FiRE_MaN's avatar

tell her. kick her out or if you cant. you move. i couldnt deal with that.

flameboi's avatar

I’m sorry, do something terrible to her, maybe she would get the message

hoosier_banana's avatar

The next time she does something disrespectful pin her to it, make her see the issues. If she took your food tell her to go buy some more. If she causes water to be on the floor use one of her towels to soak it up. Annoy her in the morning if she keeps you up at night. In essence, make her feel a little less at home without being irrational.

melly6708's avatar

well this weekend im going to see what she does.. and if something else happens i have my fridge lock in hand.. and yes i do annoy her.. like getting up early and playing my music real loud.. and i throw some hardcore screaming songs in there just for fun :)

MissAnthrope's avatar

I have to say.. passive-aggressivism doesn’t get you very far in life. For one, it’s cowardly and it generally does not go over well with others. You might want to think about actually talking to her. I know it’s a crazy idea, not so pleasant because it involves confrontation, but trust me. Being passive-aggressive will only serve to escalate the situation.

For all you know, her current behavior is a passive-aggressive attempt to make some point about how you annoy her or something you’ve done. You’d never know, because people who behave in a passive-aggressive manner leave other people to do all the work deciphering what the hell is going on. It’s super cloudy communication.. if you do it to her, without having a clear discussion of issues, how does she know that you have a problem with her and are not just being a bitch?


melly6708's avatar

OHHHMG.. !! i cant wait for winter break when she leaves!!

seriously.. today i found my prized bowl full of bracelets broken.. and all my earrings on the floor.. and i nicely asked her if she accidently dropped it. or something and shes like..“NOOO”

i guess it fell by its self.. and might i add i cut my finger when i was getting something from it.. IM NOT THE HAPPIEST PERSON RIGHT NOW!

asmonet's avatar

This too shall pass, little one. :)

melly6708's avatar

i swear to you i have the worst luck with room mates im telling you.. shes my second room mate.. and i kind of miss my other room mate from last year.. bless her crazy party girl ways :\

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