General Question

trumi's avatar

Who else can't cry?

Asked by trumi (6481points) November 18th, 2008

Besides chopping onions, I can only cry when intoxicated. And even then, it takes a lot of work. Sober, the tears just don’t come. I mean, my eyes will well up, but that’s it.

Most of the time crying isn’t really appropriate so I’ll shrug it off. But if I want to cry, I just can’t. And I hear it can really make you feel better.

I’m fine right now, but a few weeks ago I was going through a rough patch. I’m just asking for future reference.

Does anybody else have this problem? Is it a real problem? I’d like to hear from criers as well – is it better to cry too much or too little?

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33 Answers

elchoopanebre's avatar

It does help to cry.

That said I haven’t done it in like 5 years.

dynamicduo's avatar

When I’m really stressed or bummed enough to cry, crying (the full on body sobs, lying on the floor, snot dripping from the nose) is so relieving, it really does feel like lifting the world off your shoulders. I feel as if I move my frustration/anger/depression right into those dripping snot, and once they’re out, I can collect myself and become more logical, take another look at the situation with a clearer mind.

Judi's avatar

I never cry appropriately, but I do cry when I wish I wouldn’t. It really sucks.

girlofscience's avatar


I cry at least three times a week! Sober, and without onions!

dynamicduo's avatar

In regards to my crying frequency, I’d say it’s no more than once every two months, very often its much longer than that. But six crys a year sounds about right to me.

Judi's avatar

The stupidest time I cry is when I get poor customer service. How embarrassing!

rossi_bear's avatar

It is good to cry. You might have blocked tear ducts. Try using a warm tea bag and wipe your eyes with it a few times a week. See if that helps. I cry when I am in pain,mostly from migraines.

dynamicduo's avatar

Another crying data point from me. In addition to the “big cry” I described above, I tend to not be able to control my crying when I am overtly emotional. Even if I don’t want to cry. It’s frustrating sometimes to be having a heated discussion and the other person stops because I’m tearing up and they think they caused it.

basp's avatar

Doesn’t take much to make me cry. A sappy movie, a heartwarming story…
Yesterday I was sick in bed and happened to see the Ellen Degeneres show and bawled my eyes out. Must be a hormonal thing or something.
On the other hand, I giggle inappropriately and it is very embarrassing. I even try not to but I can’t seem to control it.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I find that crying helps me a lot. If I am in a very stressful situation (like a fight with my roommates or my boyfriend or studying for a big test) crying helps me get all of the anger or panicky feelings or whatever out all at once rather than letting them stew inside for a prolonged period of time. As to why you’re not crying, maybe it’s psychological. If you’ve been taught (or if you taught yourself) that you shouldn’t cry, that makes it a lot harder. I know people who haven’t cried since they were children because they think they’re not supposed to. In fact, I’m not even sure if they could cry now if they tried.

SoapChef's avatar

I wish I could not cry. It seems like that is all I ever do anymore. I am going through a bit of a time. If you don’t do it at the drop of a hat, it does have a cathartic affect. Lately, I just feel ashamed of myself. That said, I have gone through dry spells in my life, but once something flipped the on switch, whoa! It was like everything that I kept tightly under wraps came spewing forth. It was exhausting, but I felt better.

jlm11f's avatar

I am like you, I rarely cry. And when I do, it’s for the strangest reasons. So I don’t cry when I should be crying (by “should” I mean society’s accepted norm). The last time I had tears was a few weeks ago because I hadn’t slept for two days and I was pushing my body to it’s limit by continuing not to sleep because I had too much work to do and was trying to make a bunch of deadlines. And it was still more like my eyes welling up instead of full on crying.

The only other time I can remember crying from this year is during the Olympics (okay, now isn’t this strange). I cried when that one guy (i don’t even know his name!) from a small country with very limited resources won the cross country event. His medal was given on the last day and I could just imagine all the hardships he must have gone through to get where he was. The emotions on his face were so heart-rending that before I knew it, I had tears too. Proud for him, and his country.

Sometimes when something bad happens, I think “I need to cry. Cry dammit.” So I know what you mean. But still, on other days, when I see my friends crying over the silliest of things, I feel happy I am not as emotional.

monsoon's avatar

I cry all the time, it’s fucking frustrating.

shadling21's avatar

That’s odd.

I tend to cry more when my mom is around. She lets me get it out of my system. Otherwise, I get frustrated tears- no more. Crying alone sometimes feels melodramatic to me, and only when I’m going through real, soul-crushing stuff, do I cry fully.

If you feel that you can’t produce tears physically, I’d suggest you talk to a doctor. There may be a medical explanation for it (such as dehydration- do you drink enough water?).

wundayatta's avatar

I have probably cried with full blown sobs and heaving chest maybe twice since I was a kid.

However, I do tear up a lot. Recently, it’s been even more. Since my bipolar disorder acted up, I feel so much more emotional. Hell, even advertisements choke me up! Forget it if my kid is singing in the choir.

So my emotions are buffeting me around all the time. But it doesn’t make me cry like a real cry. Sobs and choking wailing, and tears and all. I get full up with sadness (or pathos) and my eyes tear up, and I am this close to crying, but I don’t.

Having said that, when I did cry, I never found it to make me feel better. Just the opposite, in fact. So, in truth, I don’t see the point or desirability of crying. Tears, though, that I can handle.

wildflower's avatar

I very rarely cry spontaniously or at events that should provoke an emotional reaction, such as goodbyes, funerals, etc. In fact, I’m more likely to shed a tear watching a season finale of a TV series than at a tragic event – I think I somehow postpone emotional reaction until the practicalities are out of the way.
I do cry though, it just takes a while to build up before it comes pouring out….

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I cry very rarely and if we’re going by stereotypes here, especially for being female. The only time I usually cry is if it literally feels like I’m dying from the inside out, due to an emotional burden so heavy it feels like I can barely even move. Even then, when I’m going through something that bad, I have more of a tendency to shut down entirely than to let it affect me to the point I bawl. I become numb, more than anything else.

That said, when I actually do manage to cry because I’m so distressed, it’s unbelievable and I seclude myself if anyone else is around, because I refuse to be seen by anyone when I’m in that kind of state.

As for whether or not it makes you feel any better, I’m with daloon on this one. It does nothing to help me, besides to become numb once I’m done, which is my general course of action anyway. It’s like… “Okay, I cried. For what? Nothing has changed.”

Bluefreedom's avatar

In the movie Star Trek VI – The Undiscovered Country, Spock related to Mr. Scott that Klingons couldn’t cry because they didn’t have any tear ducts.

I’m not sure that is relevant here but it was useless trivia in my head that I had to get rid of.

Sloane2024's avatar

I never cry because of pain; it just doesn’t seem that important to me. I can be on the floor, in the fetal position, with an insanely painful kidney stone, and I won’t shed a tear. However, when that special time of the month rolls around, I can cry over the fact that my hair won’t fix right, or my laptop won’t turn on as quickly as I’d like.

As a child, my dad never allowed me to cry. The more tears that fell, the more spankings I had coming my way. After much therapy, I was finally convinced that it is okay to release my emotions through crying. It took a lot of practice, but I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten the hang of it…

cdwccrn's avatar

I find it difficult to cry as well. I think when I was a kid I learned my tears bothered my mom so it wasn’t ok to cry. Then, there have been times when there has been such pain, I feared if I started crying I Might not be able to stop.
I carry the sadness with me for quite some time until inexplicably, they finally come.

trumi's avatar

Okay, wait, I will admit I cried a little when Obama won. The next day, I turned on NPR and heard some high school kids talking about it, and I had to pull over for a sec :D

But even then, I didn’t really cry. Sounds like most of you Can anyway…

I don’t think it’s a physical problem though, that’s a bit intense. I think I just need to let go?

Anyway, thanks for the input everyone!

augustlan's avatar

I cry easily, but most especially when I’m angry. Which just pisses me off even more!

I bawled like a baby when Obama won, and for several days afterwards, every time I’d see a picture of people celebrating, or read another story I did it again!

mea05key's avatar

Its very hard for me to cry. I only cry when i feel sentimental and it feels great to cry sometimes because it releases the stress in me. There were times when i laugh till i cry. I really love that.

danimoos's avatar

Yuppp, I’m one of those emotional ‘baby’ people.
Cry through movies, through music, through books…
I enjoy a good cry though (:

XxLaurenxX's avatar

i cant cry either. no matter how much i try to i just can’t. it drives me insane. my friend thinks i dont trust him because i dont cry around him. i dont cry around anyone either. i dont know what to do. if i do cry, its only 1 little tear. its not very helpful. :(

shorti1642's avatar

me too!! i very very rarely cry…but i think its because i want to but make myself not…if that makes sense lolz. i dont know why i try not to cry, but eventually after awhile i cant do it anymore and just let some of it out but this always happens at the weirdest times…like at times where it doesnt even make sense to cry…

Nimis's avatar

When I’m personally hurt by someone, I rarely cry in that moment.
It usually comes out later at an inappropriate time.

I think it has to do with being emotionally vulnerable.
Because when I’m in a safe or neutral emotional space, it’s quite the opposite.
I’m an often a blubbering mess while reading a book or watching a movie.

fathippo's avatar

no i cant either, which is awful a lot of the time because it feels like i am desperate too but its kinda just numb and i cant get stuff out…
and when i do its kinda either like it doesnt make you feel any better because im so amazed at what happened (sounds stupid)...
and for the first time in years when i cried a couple of times because (i dont know, once because of music, and some other stuff) its like hanging onto it because you dont want it to stop, which means it does stop… and a having vaguley wet eyes when you kinda feel like being a complete wreck might help, is not great…
yeah… ha, whatever im sorry for going on… =)

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I can’t cry at movies like other people can. Like when someone dies or something. I teared up at the end of Pay It Forward, but that’s it. I feel kinda weird sometimes that I’m supposed to be emotional at the thing in front of me, but I’m not emotional.

luvpusha's avatar

actually, nowadays i notice to myself. it’s hard for me to cry. is it a problem? emotional problem?

sweetsugaryandohsohot's avatar

im like you i rarley cry. my friends have made a game out of it. if they see me cry i owe them $5. i havn’t cried in like 2 years. and i only cried then because someone i loved died. is this a serious probelm.. should i go to a doctor? nah im just as tough as nails. you probley are to.

XxLindseyxX's avatar

I am like that a lot. Although there is one time, and only one time when I cry and it isn’t even with something that is a big, life altering saddening thing. I heard that it is something, that you just don’t want to feel so you choose not to…

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