Ellipsis: Part Deux?

My suggestion: remove the interrogative from the wording.

Simply make it:

With our services you can…
– Order any time of hour,
– Pay when you receive payment from distributors,
– Terminate your contracts whenever you want.

—

“Order any time of hour”?!?! How about, “Order any time day or night”?

If you really really want to use this contruction, the following would be correct:

Did you know, with our services you can…
– Order any time of hour?
– Pay when you receive payment from distributors?
– Terminate your contracts whenever you want?

But personally, i think that looks a little odd, I would write:

With our services you can:
– Order any time of hour.
– Pay when you receive payment from distributors.
– Terminate your contracts whenever you want.

Also, since you’re asking for help with editing, I wouldn’t say “hour of time” – it just sounds a little odd. I would probably write “order any time” or “any time, day or night”.

EDIT: darn you, robmandu for beating me to it with almost the exact same answer!

heh… La_chica_gomela and robmandu: attached at the mental hip.

aw, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound so bad! :-)

Question marks at the end of each line sounds a bit too close to those TV infomercial pitches. I highly agree with robmandu’s suggestion, which results in a more professional communication.

Rob and LaChica have it right.

Rob and Chica
sitting in a tree
Making up answers
one, two. three
sung to the tune of that silly little child hood ditty

I agree. You’re not really interested in asking a yes-or-no question about whether the reader knew those things. You want to tell the reader those things. The questions sound coy.

What does “any time of hour” mean? Do you mean “any time of day”? “at any hour”?

If this is still for the brochure, drop the punctuation at the end of the bullets.
Not necessary.