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wundayatta's avatar

Can you ever leave high school? Do humans ever grow up?

Asked by wundayatta (58638points) December 15th, 2008

Have you experienced a situation where gossip really hurt someone? What happened? What was the situation, and how did gossip hurt the person?

More importantly, what was the culture of the group or community that allowed this to happen?

I’ve been watching something like this, and I’ve seen people drubbed out of the community over and over. A kind of sameness of opinion starts to develop. It kind of reminds me of high school, or maybe the playground, but older people are doing it. Maybe it is inevitable amongst social animals.

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14 Answers

mzgator's avatar

After attending both my husband’s and my twentieth class reunions, I would say some people still are living back in 1987… Or at least
they were that night. We
graduated from different
highschools within the same
city. The cliques were still the
same, and the gossip flowed freely about the same people.

dynamicduo's avatar

I left high school the day I graduated. I mean that both physically and figuratively. That was the worst part of school, the gossip and cliques and whatnot. I lost my best friend to it, and looking back now I see that it was completely silly and pointless. So when I left HS, I left that behind too. I refuse to gossip or criticize people behind their back. If I have a problem with someone/thing, I will confront it head on, not try to dance around the answer or use it to gain credibility points with friends.

My attitude certainly has affected the types of friends and relationships I have. I don’t have any beauty pageant friends for one. My friends tend to be more logical than emotional. I have no issue with saying anything to any friend, and always say the truth. I associate with people who I truly find interesting, not just because they are a friend of a certain friend.

High school was like riding the Drama Llama all the time. I choose to have a Drama Llama-free life, and am very happy with the way it’s turning out. I highly recommend giving it a try – the next time the Drama Llama raises its asinine head, just tell it to sod off.

augustlan's avatar

Sadly, some people never do grow up. Choose your friends wisely! Workplaces can be some of the worst environments…some of them just seem to foster this mentality.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

When people say high school prepares you for the rest of your life, they mean it. Not in any academic way, but socially. I believe that most people are extremely shallow and mean, just like in school. The education you receive in high school is how to be fake for the rest of your life. Which is why I said “no thanks” and stopped going. I refused to be a part of it and will continue to refuse for the rest of my life.

My best friend was not only subjected to rumors and gossip in high school, but also outside of it. In my own opinion, I think that both times, it was because she is extremely pretty and outgoing.

Outside of school, in the workplace, she was accused of overtly flirting on a level that would be considered very inappropriate, with her boss. It could not have been further from the truth and the rumor was started by her boss. He constantly came onto her (even though he was married) and she constantly turned him down. He got pissed that she refused him, acted out like a child and started saying it was all her. It got to the point that he fired her for something that she didn’t even do, because he was that angry.

I believe that in American culture, beautiful women especially, get blamed for the negative things that happen to them, like it somehow must be their fault. “Well if you weren’t so pretty people wouldn’t confuse being nice with flirting”. “Well maybe she wouldn’t have been raped if she was wearing a different outfit”. “How are you so accomplished? Your looks must have gotten you by”. It goes on and on and on.

forestGeek's avatar

I’m with dynamicduo, I left it then too. I never got caught up in the drama or gossip, but being a skater/punk, I was talked shit to and about plenty. I couldn’t get out of there soon enough. I never felt like I belong there, but I made it though nonetheless.

I know there were probably many great people there that I never got the chance to get to know. Looking back now, I felt I might have been a little ahead of my time then. I was very open-minded, just wanted to be myself and wanted to do what I do without being judged or getting caught up in any drama…just like today.

omfgTALIjustIMDu's avatar


augustlan's avatar


omfgTALIjustIMDu's avatar

—-Thanks!!! And very sorry Daloon.—

tinyvamp's avatar

High School is suppose to prepare you for life…. I’ll tell you how it did it for me. I was brand new body in a school with no friends starting brand new. I remember being overwhelmed with every single class, friends and still not over the move. I had these thoughts that everyone was smarter then me so I never applied myself and never went out for things. My grades were terrible because I never turned anything in either because I forgot or because I felt it wasn’t good.

One day, I looked at some of my classmates work and I could see all the wrong answers and etc they had but yet they still had good grades. I started turning in my homework, I started getting good grades even if most of my answers were wrong. If it looked like I needed help the teachers would write it on the papers or ask me before or after class, etc. Later in life I found out that I had ADHD that is why high school was so difficult!

I learned that high school is a game and life is a game, its a game that I don’t happen to play very well! I was recently working for a company that I thought I could grow with. I came in at the bottom and guess what? I stayed at the bottom! Everyday these people that were considered more knowledgeable than I would give me wrong information! I know it was wrong information because I already knew the answer but I had to get it double checked by a real supervisor because information would change so swiftly.

I stayed at the bottom because my attendance was horrible, not because I’d call in because I wanted to hang out with my friends, etc. I missed a lot of work because of various infections, I was put in the hospital for blood clots, menorraghia, etc. I had what they call FMLA to protect me from being fired but I could never move up because of this, so I quit.

Gossip is a horrible monster, I’ve had my fair share of rumours and quite frankly I just laugh them off because obviously if you’re being talked about then you’ve got something they want, so I just don’t let it get to me because you’ll go crazy trying to defend yourself over everything stupid thing someone conjures up.

If you read all this congratulations, I love you! :D lol

wundayatta's avatar

@tinyvamp: you should see the length of my answers sometimes. Well, some people seem to read them, even though they are two to three times longer than yours.

PS, that was a great answer.

augustlan's avatar

@Tinyvamp: Read every word : )

tinyvamp's avatar

@daloon: I felt really bad typing all that up because it’s all so much but thanks to you I know I’m not alone and that we’ve got something in common! I’ve had problems all my life with being long winded and thanks for thinking it was a good answer. :)

@augustlan: you’re amazing! :D

vanelokz's avatar

I believe tht people never really leave high school and that they, in fact, never grow up.

Many of the answers here get right to the point. Gossip is one of the worst things in high school. Bullies and those goody 2 shoes don’t realize how they can affect an individuals life.
I recently graduated high school and let me tell you that I wouldn’t go back. At least not to that high school and with those same people.
Yes people gossip when they envy you or when they feel threathened by you. There’s really no way you can avoid that. If you try to stay under the radar then you’re considered a nobody.
There a few people who get to say that they enjoyed their high school years. As for the rest of us who didn’t, who cares now, we’ve got the rest of our lives ahead of us =)

MacBean's avatar

Any time you get a large number of people together, the same patterns (cliques, gossip, bullying, etc.) emerge. “Real life” is high school, only more expensive.

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