General Question

MstreKitty's avatar

Has anyone ever been in a long affair?

Asked by MstreKitty (5points) December 16th, 2008

We’re are both married seventeen years each. And we’ve had this thing for seven.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

hypeserver's avatar

I have never been in an affair and can’t understand the meaning behind it. If you marry someone you should be in love with them. If that love dies between you two then you should come to an agreement over a divorce. Sorry if I offend you in any way, but I just wanted to put my own two cents in.

Judi's avatar

Could never trust anyone who would have an affair with me or on me!
And what kind of foundation would the relationship be based on?

cookieman's avatar

Man, that’s almost living a double life.

I won’t judge you, but I will say: There’s no way in hell I’d have the energy for that.

To risk my marriage,
To hurt my wife,
To lose my best friend,
To use that much energy…
“She” better be able to suck a bowling ball through a garden hose while feeding me homemade chocolate chip cookies with her adorable toes.

Nope, sorry – not worth it.

jessturtle23's avatar

Why stay married? Isn’t being divorced better than being a liar?

skfinkel's avatar

Why do you think you have needed to maintain this affair all these years? do you have kids?

PupnTaco's avatar

Hell, no. Never have, never would, no respect for those who do.

augustlan's avatar

I have neither the fortitude nor the stomach to do such a thing.

LikeABird's avatar

No, sorry. I love having dignity and respect! :)

richardhenry's avatar

Spur of the moment cheating I understand. But seven years? Aren’t you basically living a double life? How can you be happy?

buster's avatar

People who are in long affairs don’t post it on the internet because they want to keep them long.

seekingwolf's avatar

I don’t think I could ever have an actual affair with someone. I would feel too guilty. My boyfriend is the same way.

I can see WHY people have affairs though. Many times they aren’t feeling satisfied with their marriage (mentally, emotionally and/or sexually) and need to go elsewhere to have those needs filled. I’m not condoning adultery, but just explaining why it happens.

Honestly, I think you may ultimately be happier if you stop the affair and work things out with your spouse, or find someone that satisfies you wholly, and doesn’t make you feel like you NEED to have an affair.

erincollins's avatar

WOW, why do you even stay married?!!? what a waste!

judochop's avatar

wow. Well it must take a lot of courage to ask this on such a PC and judgemental site. I for one have never had an affair. I have cheated on ex’s but I am now married. I hope that you and your lovers find a way to the surface without making the evening news.

dynamicduo's avatar

I would not have an affair, no. I would be up front with my partner about my interests in relating with another person. We have actually already clarified this issue and we are both fine with each other having such relations. But I would never lie to my partner about it. Lies do not make for a strong foundation in a relationship.

Aethelwine's avatar

Any type of affair is not worth it when you see the hurt and the pain that you have caused for your loved one. The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more.

mzgator's avatar

Cheating hurts and devastates your spouse or partner’s life. Is it really worth it to do something like that to someone you professed and promised your love to before God and everyone you hold dear?

It also hurts yourself. How. Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror with the reflection of a liar, cheater. And homewrecker staring back at you? You can’t hide from the truth. Eventually everything you have done will catch up with you.

I can’t believe someone would do this for seven years, especially when you have a seventeen year marriage. I would be so ashamed of myself.

Knotmyday's avatar

I’m wondering what prompted this public airing of dirty laundry…

The reason that folks here might have a “PC and judgemental” reaction to the question is: Lying and cheating on your spouse is just plain wrong.

While we’re belaboring the obvious, also: The earth is round, gravity makes things fall down, frozen water is called “ice,” and the best way to keep from suffocating is to breathe some air.

Here’s hoping you wise up.

cookieman's avatar

OK, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think we are being had.

The question’s author signed up for Fluther the same day the question was asked.

No questions or answers since.

Hasn’t returned to this thread since.

Screen name is MstreKitty
Which seems like an odd play on words unless she happens to proud of being a mistress.

Also, her Fluther profile is not filled out at all.

I’ll apologize if I’m wrong, but something smells fishy to me.

hypeserver's avatar

cprevite I noticed the account name and signup date as well. However; I believe I haven’t filled out my profile yet either.

punkrockworld's avatar

I honestly don’t understand how you can cheat on your husband or wife for 7 years. Do you have no heart at all?

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