Have you ever either accidently or deliberately intimidated someone?

My family thinks I’m a pushover but my employess are scared sh*#less of me. I have a split personality.

Apparently I have also intimidated a few folks while at work – I didn’t mean to and have no idea how I did it.

At my daughter’s school I apparently inadvertently intimidated a few folks simply because at rest the corners of my mouth naturally go down. They saw me walking while thinking and thought I was angry. I wasn’t – I was just not paying attention to my outside appearance.

The only time I tried to intimidate someone was a guy who tried to assault me many years ago when I was walking across my college campus in the evening. I still didn’t really do it on purpose, but I was taking martial arts at the time. When he threatened me I let loose a roundhouse kick without thinking that hit him in the mouth. He dropped his knife and ran.

I went to two high schools as a teen. The first one was horrible, with gang kids and a lot of out-of-control people. I transferred to a better school junior year.

At the first one, when I was a freshman, some girl in my elective drawing class tried to intimidate me. She had come past my desk and acted as though she was going to hit me. I was small, quiet, and still dressed like I was 12, so I guess she thought I was an easy target. I didn’t move the first time. The second time she tried it? Without thinking, I jumped up, waved my arms around like on those morning baby-mama-drama shows and got all Travis Bickle on her ass. “You got somethin’ ta say ta ME? HUH, BITCH!!?? I will fuck your shit UP!” And so on.

Mind, I was in no way capable of following through on that, but it was either fake her out or get a daily beatdown from her and her buddies for who knew how long?

Fortunately for me, she’d never seen Taxi Driver. Freaked her right out. It helped in the long run, too. As long as I went to that school, the word was: [April’s] crazy, y’all. She craaazy…!

Way too many examples to list.

There’s unintentional intimidation from getting bothered by something.

Then for instance scaring away a burglar who woke me up coming in my window by roaring at him – I didn’t really form an intent before doing that, but it worked.

Fast-drawing a pencil to scare away a school bully – he laughed, marveled at it to his pal, and left me alone.

I’ve come across situations in life where intimidation was a necessary step that needed to be taken. On the same token there have been times when intimidation was just fun. Take it for what’s it’s worth, it’s basically just another form of bullying.

So to answer your question… yes & yes and, like it or not, I’ll definitely do it again.

When I was a young teenager, there was a situation at our local skating rink that was getting out of hand. I stepped up and acted like I was going ballistic to get a girl to stop bothering a guy friend. I pretended to be a crazy, jealous girlfriend and told her I’d kick her ass if she didn’t leave my ‘man’ alone. Later on, he pissed me off for some reason or another and I went back to the girl and said ‘You know what? You can have him.’

Now, in business situations where I have a complaint about something and am getting nowhere, I go all ‘english teacher’ on them, using a firm voice and all my best big words. It usually works ;-)

With my arms, legs and stomach covered in tattoos other parents seem to be a little stand offish at my daughters swim classes. That is until they get to know me. Then we are having dinner and thier kids are running around with mine. It also does not help when you ride up on an old step through motorcycle with ape hangers.

All the time. People think I’m a dangerous criminal. All I have to do is smile. Mwahahahahaha!

I guess I do it regularly. Every year when school starts, I lay out the rules and expectations in what I perceive to be a straightforward fashion. Sometimes a student will ‘test the waters’ and I take care of it right away. When I do the year end evaluation, some students will say that I scared them at first.

I once had a college professor that I intimidated on purpose.

I have a personal requirement that my professors must:
1. know more than myself,
2. come to class prepared,
3. know what they are talking about.

The only characteristic that would compensate for others would be number 3 – they can be lacking in actual knowledge or preparation, but never ever should number 3 be lacking. I lose complete respect.

So this particular professor was teaching this public speaking class, a required elective at the school I was attending. In fact, she wasn’t a full-blown professor – she was a temporary professor, of sorts. I don’t know what those are called. Anyway, we did not get our syllabus until 4 weeks [out of 13] into the course; she came to class with handwritten, xeroxed materials [the syllabus was handwritten as well]; she was teaching public speaking but behaved like a cowed person and lacked confidence; and she taught straight from the book.

This pissed me off because I was wasting time in her class. Time that I could have spent earning cash designing websites, one hour out of my day wasted fooling around.

I used the fact that she lacked confidence against her. I would make eye contact with her, and never break it. I didn’t glower or stare, and most times I gave her the appearance of rapt attention.

The part that I knew was wrong, and I knew exactly what I was doing, was maintaining eye contact with her past that “comfortable zone”. Whenever you make contact with a person, it’s polite to break eye contact and then come right back. People do it without noticing. So I was breaking an unspoken rule of courteous behavior, and having fun doing it.

People get so unnerved when you maintain eye contact. It’s hilarious. I really do it for ishts and giggles. Watch em squirm.

She would stutter or lose her train of thought when she looked at me, and she would fumble with papers. I had been doing it to her ever since the 3rd day of class. When I wasn’t making direct eye contact, I was reading my USAToday. She would always ask me questions to prove I wasn’t paying attention, but I always answered perfectly because she was working straight out of the book.

There are those of you who will chide me for not respecting my educator. I went to school to BECOME an educator [I was pre-med as well] – and other educators and their methods are under extreme scrutiny when I am involved. She failed.

PHAILED.

What’s an isht, as in “I really do it for ishts and giggles.”?

@squirbel As to your last point, I have always considered the student to be the customer, and the teacher to be the client. In many cases (except public school) the student is paying the teacher. That means that the educator has an obligation to do a good job. For me, that means finding ways to present the material that works for all the students in the class. Whenever other students would complain to me about a teacher, I would encourage them to tell the teacher, and get the teacher to proved assistance that works for the student.

Now, as to your method of intimidation, I was wondering how you figured it out, and how you got the courage to do it. Staring is impolite; challenging people in public is impolite; so engaging people by staring into their eyes for a long time is the height of rudeness. What gives you the chutzpah to be so rude? And can I buy some of it?

lol… my chutzpah is knowing myself. I know who I am [I am very introspective], and I know my strengths, and most of all I know my faults. Because I know myself, I feel confident to do anything.

isht is a bad word. It is an anagram for… poo.

I just re-read your response, and noticed you asked about how I figured it out. I read about it… well, I read about the bit where people naturally look away and back during conversation. Then I noticed it was true, and decided to see how far I could push people.

I’m a rule breaker, and it was one more rule to be broken. I truly believe that transcending rules, especially social ones, will get me closer to that big Something that everyone is trying to attain.

@squirbel Of course you know you didn’t invent the stare down as a method of intimidation. Socrates dealt with smartass students too. It may be that your teacher is just such an expert in her field that she has a hard time making it simple enough for the average student. Evidently she is too kind or doesn’t have the temperament to take the hot air out of a pompous kid. It would serve you well to spend your time profitably than trying to stare down a teacher. Or better yet, why don’t you just challenge the class by taking the final and move on to a class worthy of your presence.

lol?

pompous?

Making the material understandable? Did you not read what was written? I understood the material. I didn’t say that I invented the unbreaking-eye-contact, I said that I read about it. I am not a smartass, I felt bad for what I did to her but her fumbling and stumbling and lack of preparation made me lose respect for her, and I had no qualms [outside of knowing what I was doing was wrong] in looking at her.

I am not an average student, but if that is how you want to view me, that is fine. I also agree that spending my time profitably would have been better than remaining in that class, but I’m sure you gathered that when I said:

This pissed me off because I was wasting time in her class. Time that I could have spent earning cash designing websites, one hour out of my day wasted fooling around.

But of course, you missed that because you were too pissed off at me and were writing before you even read the article.

galileogirl, you have a habit of deriding people without reading what they wrote in entirety. There are times when I have wanted to make a comment about how you selectively read a person’s entry, and then post a scathing review of sorts.

Please, please read what a person writes, and address each point with your own commentary. That is the scientific way.

@squirbel – whatever happened to the older version “grins and giggles”? You don’t really plan to isht right there in the class about it, do you?

@squirbel – one other thing – although you felt this teacher was “wasting your time” you showed great immaturity by deliberately making her uncomfortable in revenge. You say that you knew what you were doing was wrong but you had no qualms about doing it anyway.

You should have dropped the class or switched to another section if you truly believed her class was a waste of your time.

You have definitely lost MY respect, but I am not going to try to do anything to you in revenge. Instead, I will simply let you attempt to win my respect back, which could take a while.

Oh wow, is that how the saying goes? I only know the more modern version…

I couldn’t switch because I was taking 21 hours plus labs… that was the only slot available and my regular coursework wasn’t going to suffer because of an elective. I was not some pussyfoot student who drank and slept and partied – I was into my books and that was it.

Your respect? :P

@squirbel – You are providing a fine illustration of my point. And no, I will not stick my tongue out back at you, even for grins and giggles.

@squirbel It’s put up or shut up. Challenge the class and move on. Then neither your time or the teacher’s will be wasted.

Since you are not the average student you are not constrained by the rules of civility that the rest of us observe? I think you are just a little too aware of your ‘gifts’ You are not the only person in the world (or even in this community) who carried a heavy educational load. We all get it, squirbel good student, squirbel smart, squirbel da best. Here is a hint buster. it’s easier to learn than put what you learn into action outside the ivory tower. For that you need self awareness, respect for others and just a smidge of humility. So check that sense of superiority, climb down off your high horse and maybe you won’t feel the need to remind everyone of your preeminence.

Sigh.

The behavior in that class is not how I always behave. The original poster asked if we had ever intimidated someone, and I responded with my experience.

You choose to believe that that incidence is the whole of my personality. I will tell you now that it is not. But I will not try to convince you.

Please stop being so hostile. I said nothing out of line from what the original poster asked for.

I believe in you santa squirbel

lol sakata :P <3

Yes, I asked the question in the expectation that I would hear some interesting stories, but not that people would start judging each other. If we do that, say good bye to interesting stories. Please, stop your sniping at each other.

Fluther is a different kind of place, where people understand that we all have faults, but we don’t have to point them out. We are each in charge of our own lives. I like that. It enables me to say stuff I could never say, otherwise. It allows me to tell the truth.

I hope we’re on the same page that the truth is desirable.

Ok?

Preach on brotha

I spend a lot of time on the phone in my business. Sometimes my business phone demeanor leaks over into my personal phone calls, and I realize that this can be a bit intimidating to some.

It’s part of my job. Probably has to do with the uniform. I don’t do it intentionally, unless someone is trying to circumvent the rules of my employer. We are trained to get results, but also to do so not by being physically intimidating, but by communication.

Not people; only dogs. Once, a dog jumped his fence and ran across the street to attack my puppy. I leaped in front of her to block him, while yelling. Didn’t reflect upon what I was yelling until afterward, when I realized that the human version of the bark is “F—- you!”

I apparently had my entire freshman class slightly intimidated, back in high school. One kid taped something to my back, and when I grabbed it and went to stick it onto him, everybody else reacted like they were worried that I’d hurt the guy. Which is weird, since I’m the quiet, cheerful type that’s never gotten into fights.

I didn’t remember this question from a year ago so I looked back at my exchange with squirbel which was I admit, intimidating. Tthe answer was and still is true to my code. I have had many ‘squirbels’ and most of them have come around with discussion and maturity. This year I have an uber-squirbel (on meth) who has not been touched by anyone. After seeing my response I was interested if he had toned down, but squirbel is gone. Does anybody know when or why? I kind of hope it was because he didn’t find validation here because that would mean eventually he will have to reassess his pov and see what I was talking about.

galileogirl: I’m a she, and I still believe as I did then. For the record, you lambasted me before understanding what I was saying.

I am a very good student, and I respect the professors who challenge me and don’t bend to the whims of the students for the sake of their yearly reviews. I like professors who make it hard, like the old days.

Professors who fail to prepare or know their material are those who I fail to respect. This particular professor I spoke about was like this. She failed to develop a clear syllabus – it was written in handwriting and photocopied – one page for a full 3 month semester. It was foolishness. This is why I sat in her class – thinking it was a waste – because she stood at the front of the class, reading the textbook.

You were rude then, and pompous now for supposing you can change someone’s mind.