General Question

tennesseejac's avatar

Is it better to ask for "the first kiss" or should you just take a chance and go in unannounced?

Asked by tennesseejac (3778points) January 10th, 2009

In the past I’ve just waited on her to make the first move that way I know it’s definitely “ok”, but I’ve learned this can be a bad thing. And, I have a fear of rejection

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16 Answers

Blondesjon's avatar

These days you should not only ask, you should also get a signed affitdavid and have no less than 5 witnesses present.

dlm812's avatar

It really depends on the girl. Some are “in the moment” types (like me) who want you to just take the chance – but these are also the girls more likely to make a move if you don’t. Others would prefer if you asked. To be safe, just always assume all girls are the second type. If you want to kiss her, ask, and then assuming she says yes, do it! No girl that I know would be offended or angry if a guy ASKED to kiss her for the first time. Most girls would probably actually think this is sweet and a little romantic. If a girl does say no, it’s either because she “views you as a friend”, or has really strict religious or dating beliefs… in either case, at least you asked so there isn’t any harm done!

scubydoo's avatar

agree with Blonde

SoapChef's avatar

I personally would not want to be asked. I would prefer my suitor be so besotted and passionate that asking would not even cross his mind. ;0)

nikipedia's avatar

I mean, is she sending you “kiss me now, you fool” signals or is she shying away from you and finding excuses to leave?

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I agree with soapchef. If someone ASKED me, I’d roll my eyes. This is just my opinion, of course.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Go for it! “Hi may i kiss you now??” kinda kills the mood dontcha think.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

See? I sure agree.

asmonet's avatar

I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s endearing if a boy asks if they can kiss you. Sometimes I just want to be taken and have it laid on me.

Depends on the boy and the moment.

kevbo's avatar

Go in 75–85 percent and let her do the rest (or not).

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I agree with asmonet. It can be very endearing if a guy asks for a kiss, because it shows that they want to, but are still respectful enough to ask. Sometimes it makes me want to kiss them more. The only time it gets annoying is if the guy constantly asks, even after the first kiss.

I think the best way to ask is when you’re already slowly leaning in for a kiss, eyes locked with hers. When your lips are only inches apart from hers, quietly but confidently ask for a kiss. Chances are you won’t even get an answer because she’ll be kissing you by then.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Oh, well, we all have a fear of rejection, don’t we? Try a bit of a cuddle/snuggle/nuzzle first. Lean in really close. Look into her eyes. Smile. Press the tip of your nose gently against hers. If she hasn’t backed off or pushed you away by this point, go!go!go!

Snuggling. One of the best tools in the romantic kit. :D

jca's avatar

i feel stupid if a guy asks, i think he should just go for it. if i like the guy and he has not gone for it, i’ll go for it with him and take my chances. the two times i went for it resulted in two hour long makeout sessions.

Nimis's avatar

It all depends on the delivery.
Either way, she’s probably sending you cues.

figbash's avatar

It always feels too formal if I guy asks me, but I’ve had a few occasions where someone just moved in for the kill, totally unannounced. One time, I even fell down, because I tripped over myself trying to take a few steps back.

I think that one of the least awkward moves is to just move in closer and say ”I really want to kiss you” and don’t ask it as a question. If you’re feeling confident, you could be cute and just say, ”I’m going to kiss you” with whatever delivery works best. This seems to be a good middle ground between asking and jumping in.

Bri_L's avatar

the one time I actually said “mind if I….” I was spurned. I went anyway with gusto and she relented, but later, when I was dropping her off said, I saved her first kiss, but just barely.

All the others save one were simultaneous or they kissed me.

The one was a move in and get the cheek. That took 2 weeks to get over. OUCH! It still happened, she had to make the move though. but I was never comfortable with her.

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