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Blondesjon's avatar

Do you have an accurate sense of self?

Asked by Blondesjon (33976points) January 11th, 2009 from iPhone

We all have a certain light in which we view ourselves. Do you think that the way you percieve yourself coincides with the way others view you? This is not a question of whether or not you care about what others think. It is more a question of how honest we are with ourselves.

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19 Answers

nocountry2's avatar

Nope. When I get depressed, which is often, my self-view lens is stuck on “not fulfilling her potential”.

Grisson's avatar

My sense of self is totally bogus. Internally I view myself as 25–30 with out the grey. I am regularly shocked when I see my own picture.

And since I do such an awful job with my own physical image, my guess is I’m pretty far off on the other stuff, too.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I think it’s correct about 65% of the time, and 35% of the time, I either give myself too much or not enough credit.

augustlan's avatar

I think I do have an accurate sense of self. I’m very aware of my faults and my strengths. I do hold myself back sometimes…get in my own way, and under-estimate my endurance, or my ability to survive a tough time. I always manage to come back around though :)

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I’m pretty sure I do. I am in sales and I know from reports that customers send to my colleagues and bosses that they pretty much feel the the same way about me as I feel for myself. Basically I am a knowledgeable, cute, flirty, tough, sexy, passionate woman who does what it takes to satisfy the customer and will go the extra mile for them. Yepper. That’s me. did I mention sexy…oh yes I did. woman libbers, please don’t give me shit about saying I am sexy, flirty and cute. They are all important ingredients to get the job done when done tastefully.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@Sueanne: I’m so okay with you saying sexy. I definitely use my sexuality in my favor, and I see no reason why women can’t use what they have to gain what they want. It’s just like using your intelligence. Guys can use their sexuality too, so why the hell not? All the more power to you.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

@Tits (wow…that’s fun to type T-i-t-s). I think we all use our sexuality just some of us are more aware of it than others. And those not aware sometimes want to spoil the fun by calling us names. Heck, my sexuality works on straight women as well as men.

augustlan's avatar

I’d been missing your sexy self here, Sueanne! Glad to see you :)

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’d say I’m about 85% in sync with the people around me.

miasmom's avatar

I definitely don’t have an accurate self image, my husband always tells me I’m looking through my “Lisa Filter” which is my inaccurate view of my self.

arnbev959's avatar

The way I see it, my view of myself is by definition the 100% accurate view of self for myself. There isn’t really a way to measure how that compares with the way other people view me, because there are so many facets to who I am. “Other people” is far too broad, because every single person who knows me perceives me differently.

That said, I think most people do not have an accurate sense of who I am.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m not sure how people view me. I think I know myself. I’m extremely changeable. I can be what others need me to be, but I retain a certain je ne se quoi that is uniquely me.

asmonet's avatar

@Tits and Sueanne: Amen, sister friends.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m a bit with petethepothead. My view of myself is the only one I know, and how could it be other than accurate? It is, after all, my view of myself.

Now, it seems like my view of myself does not correspond with others’ view of me. I tend to view myself as a distinctly unsexy, indifferently-looking fellow, who has ideas that are pretty different from most people. I believe most people would think I’m immoral (godlessly immoral, at that). This is one reason why I like places like fluther, because the people here, in my opinion, are not like most people.

Sometimes, I think I’m worthless, stupid, and undeserving of any good thing in life. Mostly I think I’m a failure. I don’t think I’m funny, but much too serious. I’m not very successful, either.

Sometimes people tell my my view of myself is distorted. I tend to think people say things like that just to be kind—a white lie. I believe I’m a forgettable person, barely registering on most people’s radar screens. Out of sight, out of mind.

I’m not a good friend. I’m lazy. I think and talk too much. I can’t follow through or complete anything. I’m obsessive. I’m scared of everything. I’m weak mentally, emotionally and physically. I don’t deserve to be alive.

Obviously, those are pretty nasty thoughts to think about myself. So mostly, I try not to think about myself. It’s extremely depressing to think about myself.

Oh, yes. I think I’m sneaky. Like if I get really down on myself, then maybe someone will say it’s not so. I do like to hear this, but since I’ve manipulated people into saying it, it doesn’t really count. So, I see myself as manipulative.

No one would want to be me. Although, they might want my life, but only if they could excise me from my life.

Is this accurate? It’s the way I see myself, so it must be accurate.

tinyfaery's avatar

Mental illness most often includes muddled,unrealiatic, exaggerated thinking. May I suggest a med eval, or some CBT?

El_Cadejo's avatar

damn it pete stole my answer :P GA pete

wundayatta's avatar

It’s possible that mentally ill people have it more realistically, and most people are wildly overoptimistic about themselves. It’s also possible that mental illness does prefer a survival advantage, since it persists in the human genome. In fact, I’m sure it offers us a survival advantage.

Mentally ill people usually think quite differently from most people. In times of upheaval, such thinking really helps the whole population to survive. Many geniuses have been mentally ill. We may be the ones that come up with the crazy ideas that actually work.

Now, I’ll grant you that mental illness isn’t pleasant, and it can make us feel worthless enough to take your own life. That, however, also provides motivation to do something extraordinary, since that’s the only thing that might make us good enough to save our own lives.

How’s that for a contrarian view? Anyway, I’m certified crazy, so I must be wrong.

We’ll see.

amandala's avatar

I think my sense of self is pretty accurate. I tend to be modest, but I don’t consider myself unattractive. That’s not to say that I think I’m the best thing since sliced bread or anything. I just like myself. :]

wundayatta's avatar

Lucky, lucky amandala.

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