General Question

May2689's avatar

Are You Lonely?

Asked by May2689 (1291points) January 13th, 2009

I live my myself. My parents live in another city and very few relatives live where I do. Even though I think Im mature enough to live alone, I sometimes get lonely and sad. My friends visit me often but from time to time I get really sad. Do you have any ideas not to feel so lonely?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

It can take a little time to get used to a new place. Several things that help is to get out of the house as much as you can. Have a regular coffee shop that you visit, and do so every day. Get to know the barristas by name. Get to know your neighbors by name, introduce yourself. Join organizations, especially actionable ones, and get involved with their activities—volunteer as an usher for cultural events, Red Cross volunteer work, adult literacy, Habitat for Humanity and animal organizations all need people.

unused_bagels's avatar

when I get like that, I call a friend or put the TV on as background noise, or play an MMO…
Heck, get out of the house. That helps.

coffeenut's avatar

of you could get a pet to keep you company

xxporkxsodaxx's avatar

Are you nosey? Yes

unused_bagels's avatar

I agree with coffeenut. I’ve got 2 cats and some fish, and I don’t get as lonely as I used to when I didn’t have pets.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Look for the local volunteer agency on line or in the phone book and see what you can do to pitch in. Maybe you could find a group activity, like cleaning up a park of a big painting job. Helping others can get you out of your head and into the world.

EmpressPixie's avatar

When I first moved here, I was in a similar situation. No friends, no family. Just me, my apartment, and work. For the most part, I was just fine with it, I like being alone, but there were times when I was lonely. To get past those times, I’d go for long, exploring walks of the city, geocache (which also sent me all over the city), or do things to meet people. I took dance classes, participated in NaNoWriMo—especially the write ins, found a charity to volunteer with, and during NaNoWriMo met my boyfriend.

I also spent and still spend a lot of time on the phone with my mom and friends. I had a few friends who are also basically the only person they know where they are, which helped. I could call them and we could whine together about being so alone. And of course, in doing so, feel less alone.

It’s not easy to make a place for yourself (or at least, it wasn’t for me, I’m shy in real life), but it’s really worthwhile.

wundayatta's avatar

Humans are social animals. We don’t do well alone, for the most part. We tend to pair up, and have kids, and also be part of a larger tribe. This makes us feel better.

You don’t have any of these kind of relationships when you live alone. I’d suggest finding roommates. If your place isn’t large enough, find people you like and find a place for all of you.

Next, like EmpressPixie, a significant other can help a lot. Of course, that’s not something you can rush into. Finally, keeping yourself busy in situations where there are other people you can talk to and share time with will help. The other answers have provided you with a lot of good ideas to help with that.

May2689's avatar

Thank you for all your ideas! they are amazing!

nocaps's avatar

i am lonely all the time, even though i live with my mother. no one wants to visit or be friends with someone who is confined to a wheelchair and only has movement in his right hand.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther