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lunabean's avatar

How can I get my boyfriend to realize that his dog can't sleep in the bed with us?

Asked by lunabean (630points) January 24th, 2009

The dog is too big and in the way. I tried to make a compromise and have him in the bed but not between us, but now it just gives me less space and I’m essentially hanging off the bed at night. I told him the dog can’t be on the bed at all and he just moved him to the foot of the bed. I’m in need of suggestions.

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15 Answers

willbrawn's avatar

straight up tell him you don’t like the dog in the bed. Don’t beat around the bush.

cookieman's avatar

I love dogs – but I haven’t slept with a dog in the bed since I was a kid (then he’s your buddy at all times).

Now that he’s got you in his bed, tell your boyfriend that unless the dog’s interested in holding the video camera, there will be no nookie in that bed until the pooch is at least on the floor.

To emphasize the point, I’d go out and get a really nice, cozy dog bed for your man’s best friend.

RandomMrdan's avatar

Tell him it’s either the dog off the bed, or he has to go out and buy you both a bigger bed

Snoopy's avatar

I love dogs (!!!). However, my dogs are dogs. They aren’t allowed on the furniture.

This was a bone of contention w/ a relative who would bring her toy sized dog to family events. I made her hold the dog or put it outside as she let it on the furniture at her house and naturally didn’t understand that the rules were different in my house. She finally got the idea and now leaves the dog at her home.

Be clear and direct.

And, to be fair to the dog (it is conditioned to sleeping on the bed after all) you should go out and buy a bed for the dog….it will take some re-training (for both the dog and your bf…). Good luck!

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Buy him a dog bed as a valentine’s gift?

cookieman's avatar

@Snoopy Lurve for “Bone of contention”. Great pun.

lunabean's avatar

i must add that the dog already has a bed of it’s own on the floor, in fact it has several.

susanc's avatar

You want us to help you get your boyfriend to “realize” that the dog “can’t” sleep in the bed. This is faulty.
Clearly the dog can sleep in the bed with you; he is sleeping in the bed with you. So your boyfriend has no way to “realize” the dog can’t sleep in the bed.
End of logic lesson.
Now for the negotiation lesson:
You are the petitioner, not the rulemaker. You don’t get to decide this. You’re sleeping at
this guy’s house but his dog was sleeping there first.
How about this:
Dog sleeps in bed with boyfriend at boyfriend’s house, because boyfriend wants him to.
You sleep in bed with boyfriend at your house.
Oh, wait, maybe you’ve moved in with the boyfriend.
Uh oh. Mistake.
Move out.

Sorceren's avatar

Train the human, as Cesar Millan says. Conceal a tiny squirt bottle in your bedclothes and, every time the dog jumps into bed, squirt the boyfriend. When he jumps, nudge the dog off the bed, throw it a treat, and promptly give the man a kiss or a cookie.

Reinforcement works. The squirt bottle taught my cats from afar both not to shred furniture and to stay off the stairs (and therefore off my bed).

judochop's avatar

That’s a tuff one. I have had girlfriends in the past that if they had told me that I would have asked them to sleep on the floor or leave my house.
My wife and I have a 125lbs dog that sleeps in bed with us almost every night. He is a major part of the family and one of my best friends.
The only one that could ever tell me to not let my dog sleep in the bed would be my wife, no offense but no girlfriend would ever be able to kick my dog out of the bed.

elijah's avatar

Has the dog been sleeping in the bed longer than you have?I mean which one of you were there first? Is it your bed or his? One of my dogs is allowed in my bed because she is tiny and hairless. The day someone tells me they don’t like MY dog in MY bed is the day that person goes back to his own bed. Now I understand his dog is larger than mine, so it is definately more difficult. Like susanc said, if it’s your house, your bed= your rules. If it’s his house, his bed= his rules.

mea05key's avatar

buy a single bed attached it next to your bed.

Jamkas's avatar

Just tell him straight up your not interested in bestiality.

scamp's avatar

@Sorceren I love how you think!! I’m going to buy a squirt bottle and a box of cookies and start training my SO tonight!! ha ha!

So many things come to mind…
Take out the garbage.. squirt squirt cookie.

Put the toilet seat down… squirt squirt cookie

Pick up your socks.. squirt squirt cookie.

The possibilities are endless!!

figbash's avatar

I think I agree with the train the human aspect of this if he’s not listening to you. For many people, dogs are just like a part of the family and you have to make sure this doesn’t create a serious problem in your relationship.

Just tell him you don’t feel comfortable being physical with him with the dog in the bed. I’m assuming this is true. I think once you have your boyfriend see how the consequences may impact him, it may encourage him to have the dog sleep on the floor when you’re there.

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