Ok, what's with Chuck Norris?
Asked by
syz (
35938
)
February 1st, 2009
Why is Chuck such a cultural phenomenon? And as an aside, have you read “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World’s Greatest Human”?
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27 Answers
Chuck Norris is a phenomenon because he is a badass,
he once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
“Chuck Norris eats babies and shits Delta Force team members.”
Because Chuck Norris gave Mike Huckabee the greatest BJ of his life.
Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups, he pushes the earth down.
There is NOTHING special about Chuck Norris….except maybe he is ugly.
@hahniam You know chuck owns the internet, right? You better make sure your life insurance is paid up.
;-)
His poop is considered currency in Argentina
when Chuck Norris falls into the ocean, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
that’s why he’s such a big deal.
The same reason rickrolling is vaguely amusing.
“If you drop a phonograph needle on Chuck Norris’s nipple,
it plays the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds.”
I am not afraid of a monkey, knuckle dragging man like Chuck Norris. LMAO
Chuck Norris recently made his only book-signing appearance in the U.S. in tiny little Azle, Texas (pop. <10,000), at a tiny little Christian bookstore on tiny little Main Street. Four thousand people showed up, and his book Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America was sold out before Chuck ever arrived.
Main Street had to be closed for several blocks; all the city’s police had to come help control the (non-unruly) crowd, and Chuck stayed from 6:30 p.m. until 2 in the morning to make sure he signed something for everyone — and let anyone take pictures of themselves posing with Chuck and his wife.
The newspaper devoted roughly five pages (four different story angles) to the event, because Chuck Norris really is a fine human being who has his head on fairly straight. I would much rather be photographed in a crowd adoring Chuck Norris than in a crowd around some person who is famous only for being famous. I wouldn’t have to hide that photo from my kids or my parents; in fact, I might hang it on the wall.
What’s with Chuck Norris? Most everything I admire.
I am really glad for you that adore him, I just can’t. Everyone is different and it really is a good thing.
@hahniam—yuck! Who said “adore”?
I admire him because he has integrity — which is notably lacking in heroes today. Everything he says, he lives. I have never heard of a scandal involving Chuck Norris, and do you know how hard it is to be that good?
If the only people who were sports stars were like Chuck Norris, sports stars would still be great role models and “sports star” would not be a dubious, temporary status.
@Sorceren That’s because the paparazzi don’t stalk Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stalks the paparazzi.
Chuck Norris’s family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
Chuck Norris is a short, overblown stereotype of what a real man should be. Chuck Norris blows.
@evelyns_pet_zebra — If l must, I shall meet you on the field of honor to defend Chuck’s. Where and when?
Don’t say shotguns across a poker table or maces underwater. It’s been done. And don’t say Indiana. It sucks your brain. Seriously.
@Sorceren I will meet you on the field of honor at noon in Wichita KS on June 6th, but only during a tornado, as Wichita is the heart of Tornado Alley. Bring your lead lined hiking boots, as you’ll need them to keep from blowing away. Weapons of choice will be Nerf swords.
Oh and I forgot to say earlier, Chuck Norris is quite possibly the worst actor in the entire free world, with perhaps the exception of California’s Governator. Chuck Norris couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag.
@evelyns_pet_zebra — There’s actually no question: Chuck is indubitably the single worst actor in the world. But acting is just the vehicle for the messages, and those are real and true and need to be relayed, time and again.
Can’t do Wichita. I’m wanted there on an old bogus charge — high-handed meddling in a local librarian’s love life. (I though he should quit molesting the panda; the panda thought he should quit molesting the panda. He thought he was in love.) Sheesh. Some people’s children…
Besides, I’m having my nails done on June 6th. (The finishing nails, not the roofing nails.)
_
Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
@Judi I won’t ask you where you found that clip – lol.
@Zen_Again;
Actually I found it on a different Q and A sight that I abandoned when I found fluther. Cracked me up so I share it at every opportunity.
Chuck Norris secretly has sex with every woman on the planet once a month.
That’s why they bleed for 3–5 days.
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