General Question

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37 Answers

whackyrusty's avatar

Not appreciating The Beatles.
Well, maybe I’ll let it slide …as long as they like George.

funkdaddy's avatar

Can’t handle someone who loves drama on either count…

not the theatre

vindice's avatar

For both: No sense of humor.

Allie's avatar

Cheating is definitely grounds for breaking up. Also, I can’t handle dishonestly in friends or boyfriends. I try to surround myself with loyal people who I can trust. I like to know that my friends and the person I’m dating have my back and will be there for me if I need them. (Not that I’m asking them to commit crimes for me or anything..)

tennesseejac's avatar

@whackyrusty well then you wont like fellow fluther archaeopteryx….

as for me i cant have “relations” with stubborn people

eponymoushipster's avatar

lazy eye.
chick flick lover.
no sense of humor.

tehrani625's avatar

I would say lack of Humor. I might add dislike of video games and excessive web browsing two things I do a lot. Yes I browse the web excessively on many occasions.

Dog's avatar

Gossip Mongers
No sense of humor…

Gossip being worst- no boundaries, no respect for others, loving to create and live in drama.

jonsblond's avatar

Being a jerk.

great question by the way, lurve!

TaoSan's avatar

For both:

- dishonesty
– hidden agendas
– religious zealotry

KrystaElyse's avatar

-Bad hygiene
-Can’t carry a good conversation
-Nothing in common

I think that’s about all of them…

mjchatter's avatar

Absolutely – Lying – total deal breaker!

IBERnineD's avatar

Passive aggressive behavior
and any sort of violence

Kiev749's avatar

Dishonest and Bipolar.

Mtl_zack's avatar


—Closed mindedness
—Stab you in the back
—Tells other people your secrets
—No sense of humour
—Not able to have deep and meaningful conversations (i.e.: a twat)

aprilsimnel's avatar

So many here are my dealbreakers, too, with the ultimate being dishonesty of any sort.

To add one that hasn’t been said: Being controlling.

augustlan's avatar

I’m pretty flexible about most things. Two I cannot tolerate:
Bigotry – of any kind.

TaoSan's avatar

A lot of no sense of humor coming up, I notice.

I have to say tho one of my closest, dearest and most loyal friends is about as funny as a chunk of driftwood. Think I’ve seem him laughing like 1.5 times in 10 years.

nikipedia's avatar

Great question, and lots of great answers so far.

To me, the concept of a “deal breaker” is something that is absolute and can’t be mitigated by circumstances, so my list is pretty short, and not something I’m proud of. I think in terms of relationships, I really cannot imagine having a genuine, honest, mutually respectful relationship with someone who had a strong belief in god, or someone who wasn’t able to be a good intellectual partner—education is irrelevant, but I would want him to be able to construct a good enough argument to really engage me in discussions, and to understand complex ideas that I find interesting and want to discuss. I’m kind of embarrassed to place such an emphasis on it, but I don’t think it would work otherwise.

And I think cheating goes without saying.

As friendship goes, the only time I can remember intentionally severing a friendship in recent memory was with someone who constantly needed in-depth emotional support and gave nothing in return, even gratitude for my efforts to be there when she (constantly) needed me.

mcbealer's avatar

In general I tend to avoid people who are:
criminals, disingenuous, bigots, outright liars and/or are unambitious.

Additionally, in a relationship definite deal breakers would be someone who:
has a roving eye, abuses drugs/alcohol, does not value emotional intimacy,
and/or “lets themselves go.”

cookieman's avatar

• excessive drama over even the littlest things in life.
• manipulative and dishonest behavior.
• bigotry and narrow mindedness.
• obsession or zealotry over any one thing. no sense of balance.

• inability to make a decent chocolate chip cookie.

girlofscience's avatar

@eponymoushipster: Lazy eye. That’s a great deal breaker, haha.

bythebay's avatar

Lack of Compassion/Perspective
Unwillingness to travel/explore
Lack of reasonable intellect and an unwillingness to learn
No sense of humor
Lack of conversational/social skills
Chews with their mouth open / bad table manners

eponymoushipster's avatar

@bythebay the last one, that’s awesome. some people these days literally act like they were raised in a barnyard.

cak's avatar

@bythebay – like your list!

I would really stress the ability to not accept people of different beliefs and faiths. Political, education, religion and yes, even sexual orientation. I think we have so much to learn from each other – to be a person that closed the door to people not exactly like you, is sad and a bit scary.

I just don’t understand that – it would be very hard for me to deal with that, long term.

TaoSan's avatar


LOL, lurve to that. An open mouth just dooms the deal! How could I forget…..

tinyfaery's avatar

Outright racism, homophobia, sexism, or any kind of bigotry.
Serious drug addiction.
People who are mean just for the sake of being mean.
I’m fairy tolerant of everything else.

wundayatta's avatar

No brains
Being Republican
Belief in magical things
Not creative
Not liking sex that much
Liking really loud music, or country music
Not liking dancing
Not liking any physical activity
Not liking me

nebule's avatar

any form of manipulation

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Lying and being bigoted in any way whatsoever will ruin your chances with me. Having no sense of humor is a no-go, too.

introv's avatar

For both: Taking themselves and the world too seriously. Not taking the responsibilities that they have taken upon themselves seriously enough.

Siren's avatar

For me, the biggest for both is lack of respect. For relationships, honesty is up there for me, as is emotional support. For friendship, probably the same sometimes don’t need the support in either case, but if I did…

VzzBzz's avatar

@KrystaElyse: x2
@eponymoushipster: x3

I add: If they make fun of my poetry, it’s broken.

Speranza's avatar

Personal hygiene issues. Bad breath, picking their nose in front of me, not washing their hands after using the toilet…

I once broke up with someone after an evening with his friends during which they slagged off (abused) someone who wasn’t there and who was suffering from depression. I found that really horrible.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

For relationships: STD’s, sex addiction, drug addiction, gambling addiction, poor hygiene.

For friendships: Breach of trust, hurting mutual friends.

nebule's avatar

having a good relationship with their mum

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Liars, addictions, sneakiness, death metal(sorry, drives me nuts), crybabies

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