General Question

Dog's avatar

Shall we play "Create a Conspiracy Theory"?

Asked by Dog (25056points) February 3rd, 2009

Here is how to play-

Your theory must NOT be a current theory in circulation ie: no saying the trip to the moon was a hoax.

Here is an example I just thought up:

The man who invented Windows Vista was on the Apple payroll.

Have fun!

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53 Answers

Jamkas's avatar

President Obama is a publicity stunt. Reason? So other countries don’t hate us as much. I have nothing against President Obama this is all fun and games.

eambos's avatar

Fluther is full of super-liberal Apple fanbois.

Oh, wait…

Grisson's avatar

Detroit got away with changing cars in 1986 to be less fuel efficient aerodynamically in order to make a significant engine change at that increased fuel efficiency dramatically, but keep the changes incremental over the years in order to meet their gradual increases in fuel standards over many years.
That’s why the cars were suddenly boxy at that time and then gradually became more sleek and sporty.

marinelife's avatar

Conspiracy theorists trot out unproven and outre ideas in order to camouflage their real intent to take over the world through a secret society.

The aim of the society is to root out logic and critical thinking in our school systems to make the masses easier to control when the signal is given and the conspiracy theorists throw off their mantles of meekness and attempt to disrupt world order.

wundayatta's avatar

Tom Cruise and John Travolta were secretly married in a Scientology ceremony so that the church could use gene splicing to create the next Ron Hubbard.

Dog's avatar

@daloon I wish I could give double for that one…

IBERnineD's avatar

Ovaltine purposely presents non-realistic situations, with stupid people in their commercials to anger me. These commercials cause me to complain about them to everyone I know, which means I say “Ovaltine” over and over. In turn unknowingly advertising for them, this gets them more money to make more stupid commercials and the vicious cycle continues…

jbfletcherfan's avatar

The moon really IS made of cheese.

Grisson's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Yes, but it is not Wimsleydale, unfortunately.

miasmom's avatar

The whole switch to digital TV is a complete government conspiracy to force people to buy new TVs and boost our economy, why else did they so conveniently run out of money to reimburse people for the converters? Postponing it a few months is just to make the government look legit about the whole thing.

timeand_distance's avatar

This one guy tried to convince me that hybrids were the government’s way of making muscle cars obsolete so that politicians could buy them and own the world.

I think he was stoned.

eponymoushipster's avatar

Starbucks is actually operated by Walmart in an attempt to get control over people who can read at grade level and have never uttered the phrase “Ooo..bulk jerky!”.

Also, Bill Clinton was once a woman.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@eponymoushipster Hillary was once a man. Oh wait, she still is, isn’t she???

Bluefreedom's avatar

The cavemen on the Geico commercials are real. They were thawed out after being dug up somewhere in Greenland. It took several years to teach them English before they were unleashed to do commercials. Since they had no motor skills worth mentioning and had I.Q’s equal to that of a pencil eraser, all they could do WAS commercials. And the rest is history.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@jbfletcherfan no one dares to check! bill tried to put a cigar down there, damn near got his fingers chomped.

marinelife's avatar

@Grisson Please! It is Wensleydale!

(I tried it once and could not quite taste what Wallace and Gromit saw in it, if you will forgive the mixed senses.)

If I was picking, I might go for aged Canadian Cheddar.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

The last I heard, Bill & Hillary had the Geico cavemen to dinner & they served Wensleydale cheese!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@jbfletcherfan YES! i love it when a plan comes together!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@eponymoushipster yes, it DOES warm the cockles of your….heart, doesn’t it?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@jbfletcherfan most definitely.

oh and another theory: The stimulus package before the government now is a coverage for all the spending their doing to protect us from alien invasion. Obama tracks how close the aliens are on his super-tech blackberry.

just a shot in the dark.

basically, the cavemen warned him about them. (think, like, the fifth element)

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Hopefully the aliens aren’t as hairy as the cavemen are!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@jbfletcherfan no, they’re like little Dr. Ruths. which is worse.

cheebdragon's avatar

Squirrels are communist spies.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@cheebdragon they are! listen to their accent.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

And when those tails start to rustle, LOOK OUT!

As for now, I’m off to review new secret plans. Chow!

cheebdragon's avatar

has anyone seen When. Squirrels attack…? It was on animal planet several years ago, the greatest show I have ever seen
There was on old man who said “I was in Vietnam! And I have never been so scared in my entire life, as I was when that squirrel was on my back!”....lol the reenactment was awesome!

chelseababyy's avatar

Our taxes are used to keep the anchor women’s hair so perfect. Those crazy stylists charge oh so much.

Jayne's avatar

The boy was neither under the swimming pool nor in the frizzer, but was instead eloping to the Bahamas after asking the question to confuse the collective, to which the CIA was bound to turn for any leads on his disappearance.

Dog's avatar

@Jayne- Classic!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@cheebdragon reenactment?! i need to see this.

Blondesjon's avatar

Time is an ancient conspiracy perpetuated by clock makers and payroll administrators.

Dog's avatar

Dolphins rule the earth- we are just a science experiment they are conducting.

timeand_distance's avatar

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

fireside's avatar

We haven’t found Osama Bin Laden yet because he is in disguise as Sacha Baron Cohen

eponymoushipster's avatar

@fireside nah, he’s hiding in a hasidic community in upstate new york. you’d never expect him there!

Grisson's avatar

@Marina My bad.
Though ‘Whimsydale’ would be more puniful.

Pretty good with cramberries in it.

marinelife's avatar

@Grisson Based on my experience with it, cranberries could only help!

Grisson's avatar

teehee ‘cranberries’

spywacko's avatar

Bill O’Reilly uses his head before he speaks.

wundayatta's avatar

That’s not a conspiracy. It’s merely a n urban bible belt myth.

Grisson's avatar

There’s an underground movement of 40+‘s to take over Facebook.

wundayatta's avatar

@Grisson: not to mention twelve year olds.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Grisson no, when you reach MySpace maturity, you’re removed from the pod and placed in a facebook chamber. it’s a natural progression. eventually, you’re shunted thru JDate and die alone.

Grisson's avatar

@eponymoushipster And bypass gather.com altogether (which is advertised on liberal NPR, and has nothing but conservative blather on it. Now there’s a business plan I can respect!)

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Grisson is it quasi-Christian, like eHarmony, with their creepy, religious-right coiffed spokesdoctor? (seriously, he has the same haircuit as Ralph Reed, just grey)

Grisson's avatar

@eponymoushipster No, I didn’t see a religious slant to it. But it was definitely McCain territory and opposing viewpoints were not tolerated.

Actually it was after that experience, when I was looking for a more friendly social site that I discovered fluther

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Grisson i heard eHarmony was essentially a ‘Christian’ singles site. Weren’t they turning away gay people and divorcees?

Grisson's avatar

@eponymoushipster I don’t use social sites for dating, so I don’t know about eHarmony personally.

I do know one person who found his current girlfriend on there. Although he’s Christian, he’s not evangelical. Which is to say he’s not vocally religious, and would not tolerate well a site that pushed religion on him.

He has been divorced in the past, though his current status would have been ‘widowed’.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Grisson ok. i just wondered, since some of the match.com ads, i believe, hinted at that sort of thing on eHarmony’s part.

Grisson's avatar

I know there was an issue with eHarmony not accepting gays. Their position is that their matching algorithm doesn’t take gay relationships into account.

While this is probably true, it implies that the designer who came up with the algorithm was thinking only of straight relationships. To correct this oversight, eHarmony would have to have someone with knowledge (What the industry would call ‘Subject Matter Expert’) to provide information to make a gay friendly site.

In other words, they’d have to hire gays. And the fact that they haven’t elected to do that, is probably more telling that what match.com says.

davidbetterman's avatar

Dog and google have conspired to get this question listed under the underground Frizzer movement page! (see the 2nd link!)

Grisson's avatar

Hrmm… I get: Did you mean: underground Freezer movement

Now there’s a concept for you. I could use an underground freezer. There’s not enough room on my backporch for a large one.

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