What would you think or do if you found nude pictures or video that your significant other has kept of an EX?

Hah. Do the pictures involve ass biting?

But, in all seriousness, I suggest you get rid of the evidence. It suggests an unhealthy residual sexual attachment to that person. Holding on to some cherished photos of that trip to Paris is probably ok. Holding on to the bedroom photos from that trip, not ok.

Maybe I’m completely out of touch with reality, but I would explain to your SO that you spent a portion of your life with that person. Even though you’re no longer together for whatever reason, the experience is what is significant. The remaining pictures are just a momento.

Naked pics/videos of exes is a no-go. I don’t mind keeping mementos of past relationships, but that crosses the line.

If I found nude pictures of my bf’s ex that he’d kept….he wouldn’t be my bf any longer!!!

Shred it, burn it, bury the ashes and never speak of it again.

I’d ask him, “What’s up with this?” If he wants spank material, the internet is for porn.

Guess what. If you still have them, you probly still get off to them. Are you okay with your new gf getting off to old sex pics/videos with HER ex? There’s your answer.

Stash them someplace. If they are on your computer password protect the folder.

Or just toss them out. I would dump your ass if I found them, but that is just me.

If you don’t want to run the risk of losing your SO, dump them. You should decide which is more important to you, ex’s pictures or your relationship.

The better question, IMHO, is, “What legitimate reason would an SO have to keep nude pictures of his or her ex?” To which my answer would be, “There isn’t one.”

I was pissed, but as far as I know he deleted them.
It made me feel really, really horrible for a couple of days after I saw them, but I got over it eventually. I’m fairly sure he wasn’t using them to get off to or anything.

@everyone
the ones I have are actually on the “artsy” side (obviously not something I get off on), but they are still nude pics of my ex , I was thinking about keeping the ones that did not show her face??? would that change anything??

@tennesseejac Hard to tell. Depends on the relationship and the woman. Women have vastly different views on this issue than men.

Why risk hurting your current partner? No, you shouldn’t have to erase your past and act as if you never had that relationship, but nude pics (even artsy ones) are too emotionally laden.

The fact that you italicized the most important part of your own post…makes me wonder if you’re not just hoping we’ll say it’s fine when you know better.

@asmonet: Lurve. This sounds like a justification. Keeping nude pics of your ex is not okay.

Hummmm…. I’m going through something similar with my bf. He has 4 artsy, not porny, black and whites of various exes. They are blown up, framed, and on his wall. At first I didn’t mind at all. Now, as we get more serious, I hate them. I wouldn’t mind at all if he just kept them in a box, along with all his other naked exgirlfriend pictures. They’re a part of his past, let him have them.

That said… it totally depends on the girl.

Unless she is more attractive then all of the wonderfully well-endowed ladies who adorn the internet, there is little reason to keep erotic pictures of her unless there is some extraordinary emotion there. But it need not be attachment; for all I know, she simply enjoys the thought of her carnal conquests, and wants to reminisce over her past victories. Because of the diverse motives that could be at play, I would certainly not leap to judgment, and based on my gut feeling, would either talk to her about it or just ignore it. But I am not your partner, so you might be running a risk.

I find myself humming the Man they call Jayne

If they are in fact artsy, why not show them to your SO and ask her what she thinks about you keeping them? Then you won’t have to worry about any future ass biting. If you feel like you can’t show them to her, you should not keep them.

Sounds like someone has a guilty conscience to me, ha ha!!

He would immediately become MY ex.

I’ve only had one set of photos like that from my first gf. I got rid of most of them except a couple that were kept somewhere else. I don’t know what happened to them, haven’t seen them for years. I may have thrown them too or kept them with some old junk, I move a lot so they could be anywhere.

I’ve never seen nude photos of an ex of a gf, though I do get a bit jealous even if they are just normal ones. I had this gf that had all sorts of photos from her ex, with them kissing and so on, and cherished them. But she was generally still in love with him, which was the reason we eventually broke up. I feel a bit uncomfortable about my current gf keeping a particular photo of her ex, but they have a kid together and she does it for the child. I do the same.

I am generally one of these people who believe in moving on.

Keeping pictures like thAt is selfish and disrespectful to future relationships, not to mention the woman who is IN the pictures.

@cdwccrn: That is precisely why there are no nude photos of me (except when my age was counted in months and not years). It’s not that I don’t trust my boyfriend, but I don’t trust my ex-boyfriend and any boyfriend could become an ex.

lol tennessee you crack me up. Well if you don’t want them on your hard drive, and you don’t want to get rid of them, just put them on the internets. Bam I am so gonna get flamed for that. You totally shouldn’t do it and it is wrong. But I feel like igniting fluther today.

Get rid of them. If you still want them, and still enjoy looking at them, you should probably find someone else—who will make you happy to throw them away.

It’s the fact that you have intimate knowledge of said woman, not the fact that is a nude image that would bother me. There’s no reason to keep nude photos of an ex, unless deep inside you are proud of the fact that for a few moments in time that person was yours.

Put them on a flash drive, and hide it somewhere safe, like your mom’s house with the baseball cards or comic books. Then get them out off of your hard drive.

Psst, Jayne. I’m in the middle of my art project but you should link syz that wonderful hat you showed me. :)

Yet again, a contrarian view.

First of all, the whacking off objection. I seriously doubt any guy is going to do that. If you want to whack off, there’s porn on the internet that is so much more… enlivening. Static pix just don’t cut the mustard. The pictures are for memory’s sake.

Now the insult issue. The past is the past, or it isn’t, but in either case, why are you so insecure about your relationship? What are you thinking? That he’ll go back to her? If that’s the case, you have much more serious problems, and you should question why you got into the relationship in the first place. The pictures are for memory’s sake.

There’s the meaning issue. Like, somehow, these pictures will send you to hell in a flash. Why do they have so much power? Why is the symbolism so important? It’s only because someone makes it so. The pictures are for memory’s sake.

How about shame? Does it somehow shame you that your SO has nude pix of past lovers? Do you think someone else will find out, or that he or she will be showing them to their buddies and bragging about past consequences? Are you afraid that you’ll become an ex, and an object of derision in the same way?

Well, if you think this, then I think you’re in the wrong relationship anyway. That indicates a level of mistrust that is astonishing. There is no need to be ashamed that your SO has such pix. In fact, it is the opposite. There is every reason to be ashamed if it bothers you. You are being made insecure by your SO and you don’t trust them. That’s what it tells me. The pictures are for memory’s sake.

I have nude pix of past lovers, and they have pix of me. Some are arty pix, and some are silly pix, and some are just a novel way of experiencing nature. They were taken so long ago, they were taken on film. You could scan them and put them on the Internet, but no one’s going to bother. We have a hell of a lot of better things to do. I could not tell you where those photos are, anyway. I haven’t looked at them in decades. The pictures are for memory’s sake.

Videos are another story, especially home-made porn. But if the ex didn’t make them burn those vids, that’s on them. If your SO is going to show you such vids, or use them to shame the ex, I would seriously question the character of such a person.

Ya’ll are making a mountain out of a molehill, if you ask me. In case I didn’t tell you this before, the pictures are for memory’s sake.

If my fella found old nude pictures of his ex this is what I would want him to do.

“Hey, hon. I found these old pictures of ex and they’re kind of artsy, but I wasn’t sure if it would bother you or not if I had them. Do you think it’s weird if I want to keep them or should I contact her and see if she wants them?”

I would do the same for him if I suddenly found some old nude photos of my ex.

Again, jac – how would you feel if your new gf had “artsy” nude shots of her ex, maybe beautiful and intriguing, yet somebody she was sexually intimate with. I agree with putting them on a personal Internet site, and if/when special girl comes along and is that important to you, ask how she feels. We are all giving our opinons based on how we feel.

Inform him you found it, burn it in front of him, and be vigilant of his reactions/comments/feedbacks regarding it within a week..

Ask them to delete them, if they don’t feel they should or you find out they didn’t delete them, then get mad.