General Question

Mizuki's avatar

My sister's husband has withdrawn and does not want counceling, they no longer talk, please suggest?

Asked by Mizuki (2041points) February 7th, 2009

She puts 100% into her busines, he is a cop and is miserable with the job, how can she lead him to get counceling with him resistant to the idea?

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11 Answers

aprilsimnel's avatar

I cannot say with certainty what I’d do, but I believe there may be some good ideas here. I hope there’s something there that can help.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

She should ask him to make a pros/cons list about seeing a counselor and discuss what he has issues with. It’ll be a start.

Mr_M's avatar

SHE needs to get herself in therapy. The situation will take a toll on her, then the entire family. Through HER therapist she could get help for him. A distracted cop is a danger to himself and others.

scamp's avatar

I think @Mr_M is on to something. If she starts therapy on her own, the therapist can help her talk to him about it. If nothing else, at least she will get some type of help/support, which she isn’t getting if neither of them go.

Mizuki's avatar

thanks you guys and gals

scamp's avatar

I hope things work out for them.

marinelife's avatar

Because her partner is in law enforcement, there are special issues. It is a culture resistant to getting help and that is changing slowly.

She needs to do something, because the suicide rate and the divorce rate among cops is very high.

Perhaps she could get some support or ideas or signs to watch for if she went to counseling for herself right now.

If he has friends who are also policemen, he might be more willing to open up to them. She could express concern and ask another cop, someone her husband likes and trusts, how best to help her husband.

cdwccrn's avatar

Counseling for whoever will go. Love for the husband despite his aloofness.

charliecompany34's avatar

for cops, sometimes it’s not so easy to talk and share. we have a brotherhood of our own that sometimes we confide in more than we should the family unit.

when we are not satisified with the job, we have some serious matters on our minds, due to the job and we tend to not be able to separate the two, meaning family and the job.

have your husband or mate consult peer support or employee assistance. these police in-house programs are set up for this very reason you speak of.

he may not make the first move and you may have to do it for him.

charliecompany34's avatar

and, well, do it now. like asap. i personally know families of cops and deputies who suffer from losses due to suicide. a partner of mine took himself out just last year. not saying the situation your family is in is about suicide, but keep in mind, the gun is right there, conveniently.

Mizuki's avatar

terrific suggestions, appreciated much….thx

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