OK. Here’s a technique. I just wrote you a really long piece with all kinds of examples, and then I pulled myself into my desk and jiggled the keyboard, and everything disappeared. So, now, thinking positively, I have a chance to do a better job. (All right, I’m still pissed).
The techniques I’m about to describe come from a psychological theory known as Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT).
Some people believe that positive thinking can help. You look positively at everything, thinking that it is good, and believing the best about yourself and your activities. If you feel like you are nothing but crap, you turn teach yourself how that feeling is not based in reality, and you substitute more realistic ideas about yourself. There are tons of exercises about this, and any number of CBT books that can teach you them.
Another technique is gratefullness. This is where you try to find the good in everything. You can pick one thing each morning that you are grateful for, and remind yourself all day of that thing. Over time, these things build up and change your attitude.
Exercise can also make an enormous difference. If you get out every day and do some vigourous exercise, you can start to feel good, and feel better about yourself, and somehow, burn off the negativity.
Some people like to try affirmations. As you know, these are the things that the new Senator from Minnesota made famous when he was an actor on Saturday Night Live. Al Franken used to play Stuart Smiley, whose catch phrase was “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” Apparantly, this stuff actually works, even if people make fun of it. If you say it often enough, you come to believe it.
Another thing that people do is the emons into lemonade thing. I tried to do it above when my answer disappeared. Whatever happens that is bad is seen as an opportunity for something good. I got fired a few years ago, and that finally gave me the impetus to find a job I really liked. Some people try to find the silver lining in deathly illness—it makes you appreciate life and your loved ones more. You also stop putting things off. You do it now.
Ok, so that’s the CBT side of things. You are attempting to force your mind into a new way of thinking. If you’re like me, that doesn’t work. This sounds bad, but there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
There is another therapy out there called mindfullness. It is formalized in acceptance and committment therapy (ACT). Like CBT, ACT is researched and is scientifically shown to work. This is a therapy where you learn to see everything, but not get attached to it. It’s kind of zenlike.
The idea is that if you can distance yourself from various thoughts, it is easier to let go of them, and harder for them to drag you down. One exercise I learned is about distanceing yourself from a thought. Say I think “I am crap.” I then remind myself to do my exercise. I think “I think that I am crap.” Finally, “I notice that I am thinking that I am crap.” Each step disstances you from the thought, and gives it less power. That’s as far as I’ve gotten in the book, so I can’t tell you any more. It does seem to be helpful.
Of course, for me, it was the meds that made me more positive. Wonderful thing, meds. I don’t believe that I can think positively, but what I can do is not think negatively. I can get to a neutral position, and that’s good enough for me. I am so much better off now than I was a year ago.
Composing members:
0
Composing members:
0
