General Question

wundayatta's avatar

What do you share with others about your dates?

Asked by wundayatta (58638points) February 10th, 2009

Do you give your friends the full details? Do you send your date a dissing email?

I’m sure that most people will say they never evaluate dates on such venal grounds. I suppose there are many other, more socially acceptable criteria for evaluating dates. Still, what do you really share with friends? What’s the real deal here?

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20 Answers

cookieman's avatar

If they’re particularly sweet and would go nice with walnuts in a bread, I’ll tell someone.

If they’re locally grown, I will definitely rave about them.

Ashpea9288's avatar

I give my closest friends, namely my sister, my best girl friend and best guy friend, the full details. What he wore, what we talked about, things he said that can be analyzed for hours about what he “really meant” when he likely didn’t mean anything beyond what he actually said, what I would absolutely hate about him if we ended up getting married, stuff like that. If we kiss at the end of the date, I tell them all about that too…if he kissed well, if his breath was stinky, if he was respectful, if he was a little too touchy-feely. If it’s not a close friend, then I say whether the date went well or not, if we’re going on another date, and if I can see something happening with him.

I’ve never sent a dissing email to a date, although I did end up having to ignore one guy. I went on three dates with him and he almost immediately became ridiculously clingy and needy and wanted to be in a relationship way too quickly. After turning down his dinner/coffee offers for several weeks, I just decided to not answer his calls/texts/emails/IMs. It took him over a month to stop trying to contact me…and we had only been on three dates. The really crazy thing is that almost a year later, he asked me out YET AGAIN after seeing on facebook that I was newly single after having broken up with a guy I met after him. Talk about persistent…and delusional.

Mr_M's avatar

I’ll let friends know what physical and mental disabilities the date had.

GAMBIT's avatar

Never kiss and tell.

galileogirl's avatar

I only share the pits.

RandomMrdan's avatar

With my closest friends I like to share most the details…But like Ashpea said, if they aren’t that close of friends I don’t go much into detail beyond it went good, or it went bad.

And the bad dates are always something kind of funny to look back on and share with friends too.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I tell my friends lots of date-like details, but I leave out a lot of stuff too. When I was first dating my boyfriend, I was all, “Mr.Pixie this…” and “Mr.Pixie that…” I’m sure they were tired of hearing about him. But I didn’t get into evaluations like the somewhat awkward grading system. It was more gushing about similarities or differing ideas.

However, in this day and age, I would almost be okay with getting a dissing e-mail just so I could send it to Jezebel as a Crap E-mail from a Dude.

amandala's avatar

I give one or two of my best friends the full details, mostly because they demand them from me.
Otherwise, I typically speak in general terms. As far as I’m concerned, the entire world need not know everything about my dating/sex life.

whackyrusty's avatar

@GAMBIT Agreed.

I keep my dates sub rosa.

Darwin's avatar

Since I’m married, I only date my husband and he’s pretty much my best friend, too, so there really isn’t much to say except “That was fun!” or “Let’s not do that again.” If I were to date anyone else I would have to keep my dates sub rosa as whackyrusty does.

I won’t ask why his have to be secret.

DrBill's avatar

I only indicate if there will be a second, third etc.

seekingwolf's avatar

A lady never tells.

no seriously, I get seriously embarrassed talking to others about my relationship. I feel they don’t need to know! The only time I’m open and talking about the relationship is with my boyfriend. I never feel shy around him!

kfingerman's avatar

Very little (when I was dating). An interesting thought along this line though…

I’ve always felt that the stereotype of guys sharing all the sexual details is either outdated or straight false. Maybe it’s just my subculture, but I’ve always felt like it was female friends who kissed and told while guys felt like it was disrespectful or something. Anyone with me on this?

Ashpea9288's avatar

@seekingwolf The question wasn’t really about relationships, just dates. I’d feel weird going into detail about my relationships too, but dates, especially if it’s a first date, are a whole other story!

wundayatta's avatar

@kfingerman: I’m with you on this one, bro. I never discussed my sexual conquests. Never mind that there weren’t any to discuss, I wouldn’t have even if there were. It’s just not done. You know. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more. Keep a stiff upper….. uh well, scratch that thought.

Seriously (yeah, like when am I serious), I do think women share much more about their dates, and men, being of a taciturn nature, anyway, are probably fairly embarrassed to say much, especially since they know there will be a competitive thing in response. Yeah, frat boys may be playing a game, but most guys, I believe, are looking for the real deal. It’s just that we have no training in how to share, in a respectful way, about that.

seekingwolf's avatar


Oops, yeah I sort of mix “dates” into the same context as a relationship, because I haven’t really dated anyone outside of a serious, long-term relationship.

But ah, there you go. :)

90s_kid's avatar

If I had a date, I’d tell ya. ;)

cookieman's avatar

so, are we not discussing fruit?

wundayatta's avatar

—I don’t know. Have we identified the fruits amongst us? Don’t you think it’d be nice to know who we’re talking about? I mean, before we go on a date?

casheroo's avatar

When I dated, I would tell my friends details. Not every single little detail, but my best friend knew about who I was seeing or sleeping with. I would also tell them funny things about the guys, but nothing too mean. I wouldn’t have done an email like that though.

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