General Question

Voodoo_45's avatar

My friend's boyfriend?

Asked by Voodoo_45 (1points) February 11th, 2009 from iPhone

One of my best friends has a boyfriend who is quite rude to me and my other friends. He hates us because he thinks we make fun of him, but that’s only because the girl who’s going out with him tells him everything we say about him. So he hates all of us and my friend who’s goig out with him could care less. She hangs out with people who have boyfriends me and my other friends don’t have boyfriends so were not “good enough” he calls us names and makes fun of us but she dosent tell him to stop.I guess you could say he changed her a lot I just want my friend back.

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11 Answers

cdwccrn's avatar

Good luck. Young ladies with boyfriends tend to neglect their single friends. Unfortunately, they have to learn the hard way how wrong that is.
YOU need to learn how wrong it is to badmouth someone else’s love interest. That will NOT help you keep your friends.

Poser's avatar

Sounds like he’s picking up on your jealousy and interpreting it as meanness. You cant talk badly about him and expect that she’s going to defend you to him. Be happy for her. Support their relationship. Haven’t you ever heard that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?

cheebdragon's avatar

Ditch both of them. No more drama, problem solved.

cirrina's avatar

Poser has a good thought: this is like a self feeding cycle. She is favoring him over you, which understandably makes you jealous. That jealousy expresses itself in the stuff you say about him. Those things make him dislike you. It’s hard to escape this kind of cycle without somebody stepping up and being incredibly direct about it… (“here’s what I think is going on and we’ve got to talk about how to change it”)

Poser's avatar

I agree with what cirrina said. You may have started a cycle that can’t be stopped without taking a very proactive step. If her friendship is really important to you, your goal ought to be to become his friend. Sit her down, and start with an apology for the way you’ve talked about him to her. Tell her you want to get beyond this and allow all of you to be friends. If that doesn’t work, perhaps they are too far gone. Good luck.

basp's avatar

Learn to live without the drama.

nikipedia's avatar

He hates us because he thinks we make fun of him, but that’s only because the girl who’s going out with him tells him everything we say about him.

So are you saying shitty things about him or not? Stop badmouthing this dude and it sounds like your problem is solved. Frankly, I’d be rude to you too, if you were trashing me behind my back. What do you expect?

alive's avatar

hmmm sometimes people go “temporarily insane” when they get into a relationship. one option is just to wait it out (and perhaps avoid her during this period). let her be “crazy” or not her usual self, and when they break up, then you can decide if it is worth it to be buddies again…

@nikipedia it is not unusual for friends to talk about the gf or bf. if you love your friend you want the best for them and it is not uncommon to feel like certain people are not good enough for the people you care about. i think it is important for significant others to “prove themselves” to the group of friends. it shows they care enough to make an effort…and it is a big turn on when someone i am dating goes that extra mile for me! :)

basp's avatar

That kind of behavior might not be uncommon in highschool, but as one matures they generally demonstrate more common sense when it comes to theses types of relationships.

cwilbur's avatar

Frequently, single people associate mainly with other single people, and coupled people associate mainly with other couples. It’s not universal, but it’s a common enough pattern to be aware of.

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