What is the purpose of driving a Hummer if you're not in the military?

Two words: Nature Photography.

My college photography professor does wedding portraits and nature stuff. After killing two Land Rovers or Land Rangers or something that were supposed to be totally unkillable while on photography trips, she got a Hummer. She hasn’t regretted it. Well, she gets mean looks and stuff, but she killed the two others in under a year, so I think she deserves a hardy vehicle. She’s really pleased with it—apparently it really can just go anywhere.

Two words: conspicuous consumption

From Wikipedia: Conspicuous consumption is a term used to describe the lavish spending on goods and services acquired mainly for the purpose of displaying income or wealth.
link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption

@stewartwb: I knew someone would be around with your answer and reallllly wanted to get in mine before that happened. Most Hummer owners are certainly being ridiculous and have no need for one. However, there are legitimate reasons for owning a Hummer, yet not being in the military.

My dad bought my mom a hummer. It wasn’t what she wanted but my dad is a sucker and let someone at the dealership talk him into it. It’s been keyed multiple times. So I guess suckers drive them as well/

Because some people think big vehicles are sweet and they can afford the gas so it doesn’t matter. And if you own a business you can use the gas as a write off or something. So it doesn’t even matter that much to them. Plus who doesn’t have dreams of a post apocalyptic nuclear war scenario like road warrior where you get to attach a Machine gun or small cannon to the top of that baby and blow your adversaries away.

I forget where I heard it, actually thought it might have been here, but someone once answered that “Because I can.”

Showing off your small penis and general hatred of other people and the environment.

@Mamradpivo LOL

Because you are a major fan of Horatio Caine and CSI Miami?

Or because you never know when there might be an IED in the parking lot at the preschool?

I hate hippies!

Hippies? Anybody see any hippies here?

I love hippies! They keep my legs attached to my torso.

Heh heh heh. Wait. Wouldn’t those be “leggies”?

Cursies. I knew I was forgetting something.

They end at your bunnies

I like chocolate! while we’re being random

The “Hummers” available to the civilian population aren’t anything like the military versions. For one thing, the civ version weighs over a ton more, and starts with a key. And the H2 sits on a Suburban chassis.

I would love to have an old fiberglas mil hummer…I’d drop an ‘08 LS3 in it, and scare the crap out of the Honda Civic-racing crowd. (for the first block or so)

If you want a car that is unkillable you need a Toyota Hilux

@EmpressPixie: Excellent point. Would that more Hummer owners had such a legitimate reason to buy one, for its extreme utility.
As an aside, as I composed my answer, yours had not yet appeared… I was surprised by the identical construction of our lead-ins.

I agree completely with @stewartwb.

Actually, there is one real estate agent in our town that actually drives a military Hummer around for showing houses. It is painted red, white and blue and must be absolutely hellish to park – seems to be both wider and longer than the civilian versions. They seem to get a lot of business because of it, possibly because ours is a military town that is also full of vets.

Although he certainly could take it off road, I doubt that he ever does. It’s a bit garish for scooting around the deer lease.

You never know when you are going to need to take your ego off-roading.